Ghosts and Gossip

 

Doll County Paranormal begins an investigation of local amusement park Witch's Cove.  They split into teams of two.

Jimin:  The most common mistakes made by beginners are pareidolia and backscatter. 

Esperanza: I know about pareidolia.  That's when we see a face where there is no face, because our brains are wired to look for them.  We use it in theater, for subliminal creepiness in a scary production.  

Jimin: Good.  Backscatter is when things like dust are mistaken for ghostly orbs.  Always look for a practical explanation first.  And don't take it to heart if we tease you.  We're still teasing Nova about a screech owl.  

Nova: We're picking up something.  Quit leaning on the post and take some pictures.  

Ken: I'm just catching my breath.  

Nova: Take pictures while you do it.  Especially towards the Raging Rapids - I feel like something that direction is watching us. 

Hagrid: Check this out. 

Kenna: That's probably radio transmissions.  A steel coaster is basically just a big twisted antenna. 

Hagrid: Sure, some of it.  Maybe even most of it.  But there's weirdness on each end of the frequency range.  Spikes at the same time, on each end.

Frodo: This path is supposed to be a very active area.  Jeremiah wants the trip sensors on either side.  Mine's good, but what is going on at your end?  You got fairies dancing around over there? 

Peeta: Only fairy around here is me, smarty pants.  I can't get the damn sensor cone to stay upright.

Frodo: Sounds like a personal problem to me. 

******

Meanwhile: At Sunburst, after a meeting of the Teacher's Union.  

Rallee: I'm glad we got everything sorted.  I was really dreading a strike.  As superintendent, I get all the blame if that happens.  Maybe I should try for that new WDLC show.  I could retire from the whole mess.

Gwen: I'm actually thinking about applying.  I love to teach, but I sure ain't in it for the money. 

Snape: It's practically prostitution, Gwen! 

Rallee: It can be argued that all marriage is prostitution.  

Gwen: You both are such sourpusses.  Why am I sitting with you? 

Suzie: You aren't seriously?

Doreen:  Already mailed the application packet.  I'm not desperate for a man to define me, never have been, but I get tired of sleeping alone.  Two of my kids are grown and in serious relationships.  Tommy's the same age as the potential stepchild.  

Suzie:  Two?  Who is Bonnie dating? 

Midna: Everything good?  Anyone need a refill?

McG: Perhaps you can settle an argument for us.  How do you feel about this Mrs. Moneybags program WDLC will be putting on? 

Midna (shrugs): It's not anything I'm interested in.  Seems like a goofy way to get a husband, but I've seen goofier.  

Susan: You agree, then, that there's nothing immoral or unethical about it?

Nancy:  But it's so decidedly unromantic! 

McG:  Not all women can be as fortunate as we are.  Particularly in modern society.  

Nancy:  My daughters are grown, so I can't forbid them, but I have strongly advised against it.  

McG: I'd tell my daughter it's a bad idea if she shows an interest in anything but dinosaurs.  If she ever marries, it's bound to be a Velociraptor.  

Tough Love Everywhere

In the early morning hours, Pern meets the other members of the Sunburst crew.  

Midna: Before we get started, I want to make a few things known. With Pern's permission, of course.  She's newly sober and wants to stay that way.  She's also new to the work force, so let's be gentle on her at first.

Pern: I can't thank all of you enough for giving me this chance.  This is my second try at living clean, I have no idea what I'm doing, but I promise to make my best effort.

Zenobia: I think I can hold off on the whips and chains until Thursday.  (laughter all around) No, seriously, we'll do our best to help as much as we can.

Esmeralda: But not so much you depend on us.  We can't turn you into a contributing member of society by contributing for you, can we? 

Jason (nods in agreement):  But first we gotta make sure all your paperwork is in order.  I'll take you to Violet. 

Violet: It looks like Midna got all the formalities taken care of.  Normally, I take care -- 

Pern: This is gorgeous artwork.  Did you do it?

Violet: My husband and stepchildren don't celebrate Christmas, so my stepdaughter painted that to replace my Merry Christmas one.  

Pern: She's good.  How old is she?

Violet (sternly): Midna hired you against my advice.  Fresh out of rehab, never worked before...  (smiles) I'd love it if you proved me wrong.  And Samantha is thirteen.  

Pern (confused): Okay?  Would challenge accepted be the wrong thing to say here? 

Violet: Absolutely not.  Now, Jason is waiting for you in the kitchen and I've got inventory to do.  

******

Doll County Courthouse, Judge's chambers

Bonnie: Your honor, the probation office has no objection to the proposed action regarding Draco Malfoy.  All parties involved have agreed to the terms.

Draco: Mother, tell them!  I didn't agree to anything!

Helena: You are a minor.  I agreed in your stead.  

Albus: I already have a list of jobs he can legally do at The Cove.  

Bonnie: I've reviewed that list with Mr. Dumbledore's employer and with Mrs. Malfoy.  It is a bit unusual for the defendant to do community service under the supervision of the plaintiff, but under the circumstances...

Helena: Albus Dumbledore is nearly the only person in the county who can't be swayed by the Malfoy name.  There's a very real concern that anyone else will be and that Draco will not learn the intended lesson.

Judge: Very well then.  We'll make it official in court this afternoon.

*****

As the third graders leave Suzie's classroom at the end of the day, they're a bit surprised to see Anakin coming in.

Roxy: Do you got detention or something?  

Dan: What did you do?

Anakin: I didn't do anything.  I just wanna talk to Mrs. Dean for a minute.  (He waits until they're gone.)  Is that okay, Mrs. Dean?  You said if any of us ever needed advice.... 

Suzie: Of course, Anakin, what's bothering you?  

Anakin settles in at a desk.

It seems like moments later when Nakoma taps on the classroom door.

Nakoma: Roxy told me you needed to talk to Mrs. Dean, kid, but it's been almost half an hour.  

Anakin: Oh, sorry.  (to Suzie) Thanks for talking to me.  Sometimes it helps to have somebody not, you know, family to talk to.

Suzie: I understand.  If you need to talk some more, I'll run your sister off.

Anakin: No, I'm gonna do what you said.  I think it's a good idea.

Anakin stops to hug her on the way out.  

Beginnings

When Albus reports for work early Friday morning, he finds his boss on her phone.

Pocahontas (Waving him into the room): I'll make some calls and everything should be in place by the time she arrives.  I have a lot of connections in this town.  

Albus (once she hangs up): What in the world is going on?

Pocahontas: Anakin's mother relapsed.  She spent the night in the hospital and now she's on a bus to Barbieville.  The judge was happy to pass her on to the system out here.  Apparently that area's been hit hard by the opioid epidemic.

Albus: How did the boy take it?

Pocahontas: He doesn't know yet.  I saw no reason to upset him when everything was still being decided.  

Albus: They've simply released her into your care?  What about all those rules regarding her being an unfit mother?

Pocahontas: As long as she doesn't live in the same house as Anakin and has supervised visits, it isn't a problem.  I do have to find her a job and a place to live - not with you, pothead.

Albus: I was going to say... Can she work for you?  

Pocahontas: No, but I'm sure I can call in some favors.  And there's always Midna.

*****

 Zenobia's studio is bursting at the seams.

Zenobia: Today we start the Openly Biased series on bullying.  I'll let each of you introduce yourself.

Suzie:  I'm Susannah Dean, elementary school phys ed teacher.

Dean: Dean Mellark, principal of Barbieville High.  Go, Spiders!

Nancy: Nancy Guinness.  I teach Sex Ed on the Middle and High School levels.

Guinness: I'm Alec Guinness, Middle School Social Studies.  I'm related to Nancy by marriage - namely our own.

Zenobia: Strangely, only the local public schools seem willing to admit bullying happens on their campus.  Several others refused to consider allowing faculty to appear on my program. (Snicker from off-camera.)  Including the one attended by my camera operator.

Guinness: Your camera operator attends a private school.  To admit such a thing could hurt the image and, frankly, income of the institution.  Of course bullying happens there - it is ubiquitous. 

Nancy: One thing that comes up often as a means of preventing bullying is the adoption of school uniforms.  I speak from experience when I say uniforms won't stop bullies.  A bully will always find something. 

Dean: Another problem in defining the term.  Where does peer pressure end and bullying begin?  My son can ignore obvious bullies, but some of his peers crumble at a passing remark.  

Suzie: Yes.  There are so many variables at play, it's almost impossible to know.  I have a group of friends in my classes who show affection by insulting one another.  The days of the obvious "Give me your lunch money" bully is ancient history.

Zenobia: And bullies are slick, too.  They don't walk up in front of the teacher and call you names - they do it away from adults and cry victim when you take a swing at them.  The one who retaliates gets in trouble. 

Nancy: I once had a student who was instigating every one of the incidents that she reported.  We only caught on when she was overheard.  She all but confessed, not knowing there was a student teacher standing right behind her.

Zenobia: So you, at the school, are powerless?  

Suzie: Of course we aren't powerless.  We just can't do it alone.  Parents undermine us all the time, usually by refusing to believe their little angel could do such a thing.  Adults don't always treat others with respect, and children mimic adult behavior. It really is an uphill battle.

Guinness: Nancy and I recently had to deal with learning that our own son was a bully.  We, and the other adults in his life, made it clear that his behavior was not acceptable. It took a united front to show him the error of his ways.  

Zenobia: And he's agreed to guest on the Reformed Bullies segment of this series.  Viewers, feel free to ask questions in the comments section.  If I must, I will have guests return to explore the issue as completely as we can. 

The outro plays over footage of Zenobia and her guests chatting.

******

Early evening, back in Pocahontas's office.

Bonnie: I'm Bonnie Carson, probation officer for Doll County.  I'll be handling Pernilla Nedakh's case now.  Do you have all the paperwork ready for me? 

Pocahontas: Bonnie, you don't need to be so formal.  We graduated together.  (Both women laugh.) I've found her a hotel room until she gets on her feet - the judge said that would be acceptable - and she'll be cooking at Sunburst. 

Bonnie: Sunburst?  That's not far removed from being in your employ, but I guess it will do.  Midna makes her employees toe the line.  (She leaves after reviewing the paperwork.)

Pern:  Thank you so much!  All the things you've do for me.... 

Pocahontas: I haven't done anything for you.  This was all for Anakin.  That boy loves you so much.  More than you deserve, from what I can tell. 

Pern (blinking back tears):  You are so right - I don't deserve his love, he's such a wonderful boy.  Will you help me be strong, for him?  Will you help me like my so-called friends back home didn't?  

Pocahontas: Of course.  But fair warning... I'm the queen of tough love. 

Pern: Tough love is probably exactly what I need. 

Change Is Good, Right?

Life moves on in Barbieville, with changes big and small.

Joe:  Your office is finished.  Again.

Pike: Well, at least you get a steady income from these constant remodels, right? 

Joe: That's true, but it's a little insulting since I did the last two jobs on it.

Pike checks out the "new" office.  

Joe:  Just for the record, I did not choose the wallpaper.  Your bosses did. 

Pike: I kind of like it.  Not as busy as the earlier one.  How's work on the new break room going? 

Joe: The hardest part was finding the best position of the dividing wall.  I wanted to give them room to relax a bit, but didn't want to leave your office too small, either.  

Pike: We usually only have one or two people at a time on break.  We don't need a very big area.

Joe: Well, it should be done tomorrow.  Maybe even by lunchtime.

*******

Grand Opening of Doll County Day Care's new location.

Jenny: Fred!  I dint know you was coming!  Your mommy had to go to work? 

Fred: Grampa Mace is making her shovel horse poop today.  Me and the babies don't wanna do that, so she bringed us here to play! 

Rose-Grace: Sorry for bringing them at the last minute.  I thought some of the older kids would watch them, but Dad's putting us all to work.  Getting the barn ready for winter is a big job. 

John: No problem.  Fred looked thrilled to be here. 

Rose-Grace: He was packing the diaper bag before I hung up the phone.  He's been bursting at the seams to see this place.  And all his little friends. 

John: The feeling is mutual.  We've all been bursting at the seams.  (laughs) Joe's wearing the same shirt as you.  Well, same pattern.  Are the dancing skeletons back into vogue? 

Rose-Grace:  Well, it is getting to be that time of year.  How are things going with Pocahontas?  

John: Great.  I went to see a realtor about selling my house.  Did you know they sell double-wides with up to five bedrooms now?  We might get one of those put in where her current trailer is.

Rose-Grace leaves.  Samara and Orlando join the rest of the children. 

Kelly: We dint go near the big windows, Daddy.  The floor is ax-id over there, right?  

John: Good idea.  Make a game of staying away. When they reinforce those lower panes, I'll magic the acid away and this play area won't be so crowded then.  

Wilma: How come they dint do that before?  We don't wanna fall to our dooms.

John (chuckles): It's just for my peace of mind. I'm a bit afraid of heights. 

*****

Evening at Sunburst.

Whitney: Ready to order, Mrs. Jackson? 

Charlotte (annoyed): My sister isn't here yet.  We'll summon you when we're ready to order, although what I'll find on this menu is beyond me.  

Whitney: The fish is today's special.

Charlotte:  I said we will let you know when we are ready.  Are you dense?

Whitney leaves to take care of her other customers.  Charlotte reaches for her phone right when Batgirl walks in.  

Charlotte: Dear God!  What are you wearing? 

Batgirl: Gabriella told me the seventies called, they want their pantsuit back. (shrugs) It's comfortable and I like it.

Once they've ordered and Whitney brings their drinks, they chat before Charlotte gets to the point.

Charlotte: Have you been talking to the boys' lawyer? 

Batgirl: Only because I want what's best for Mary-Kate and Max.  Charlotte, we both know you weren't cut out to be a mother and, frankly, I'm mystified that you ever had them. 

Charlotte: The only reason Kaden wants them is to control their shares of the estate when the time comes.  Dr. Eaton tried to get me to sign for Kaden to see the medical records.  As if I'm not seeing that my husband is well cared for. 

Batgirl: He isn't just your husband.  He's their father, too.  

Whitney brings their food.

Charlotte: I've eaten the finest Italian food, young lady, and this is a disgrace.  You call this spaghetti and meatballs? 

Batgirl:  This is Barbieville, not Naples.  (to Whitney) Can I get a refill on my drink?  

Whitney: Of course.  Mrs. Jackson, I can have the owner...  

Charlotte: I suppose I'll survive.  (Shoos Whitney away)

Whitney: How are you folks doing over here?  Everything good?

Ty: How come that lady's being such a meanie to you?

Whitney: I guess she's just had a bad day.  

Suzie (sarcastic): You'd think evicting old hippies would put her in a better mood.

Whitney (stifles a laugh): Albus will land on his feet.  He's such a sweetheart, half the town's offered him a place to stay.  

Questions

Early Saturday afternoon, the Pike residence. 

Bobby: Giddy up, lion!

Vivica: That's a tiger, you dummy.

Fred: I wonder what was in that letter John gave our big people.  My daddy said bad words when he read it and now they're having a big meeting.

Bobby: I hope nobody gots bugs. 

Wilma: No, if it was bugs, my mommy and grandma wouldn't let me come play with you guys. 

Fred: Maybe Jenny or Ty gots bugs. They had to stay home with the big kids. 

Sulu: Thanks for coming.  And thank you, Rose-Grace, for letting us meet here.  

Rose-Grace: It's only logical.  I've got the most room. 

Sulu: We all got the letter from John.  We can't let this happen, and I'm not just saying that because he's my best friend.  I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm not willing to drive my kids all the way across the county to let people I've never met take care of them. 

Suzie: Ty is devastated.  He loves John.  And we need the day care more than ever, with Frodo working now.  

Eddie: I don't understand why John is suddenly an unfit care giver.  They've known all along that he doesn't have a diploma or any kind of formal training.  

Joe: They're doing it for legal reasons.  We decided Jenny's old enough to go to work with me.  If I feel it's not safe, I'll do the work on Batgirl's days off so she can stay home.  

Batgirl: But we're open to a better idea.  Right, Joe?

Joe: Jenny would miss her friends if we have to do that.  We'll hear you out, Sulu.

Eddie: We're kind of stuck, though.  Town employees have to send their kids to county day care agencies.  It's in the contract. 

Rose-Grace: No, we get free day care if we use county facilities.  We're allowed to pay out-of-pocket for other options.  I only use John during the school year.  On summer break, Taylor and Nikki babysit.

Eddie: So I could pay your girls to babysit Ty?

Lynch hurries up the steps onto the deck and hugs her husband. 

Lynch:  Sorry I'm late.  I had a bit of inter-agency drama. 

Sulu: We're just getting started.

Lynch: I'll tell you, I am livid.  Our children have had enough turmoil in their lives without having John taken away from them.  Vivica in particular - John is one of the few men she feels safe with. 

Whitney (painfully aware of her youth): Too bad we can't set John up in business for himself. 

Rose-Grace: Whitney Darling!  You might be a genius! 

Whitney: Wait, what?

Rose-Grace:  We've got all those initiatives to lure businesses into Scott's stupid skyscrapers.  I just might be able to find one that meets our needs.  

Whitney: Wow.  I was just trying to inject some levity.

Rose-Grace:  Honey, right now, you might be the new queen of levity!

Meanwhile, on the Muneca Lake Beach.

Nancy: Who is that man?  

Guinness:  If you're going to look at other men, do you have to tell me about it? 

Nancy:  Seriously, there's something very familiar about that man.  I feel like I should recognize him. 

The man in question.