Tanner: Dad gets off work early today so he'll pick the brats up about noon.
John: Hey, we're both in Star Trek uniforms! Your dog tags aren't regulation, soldier.
Tanner: Neither one of us has the right pants. Captain Kirk's gonna bust us down to Ensign.
Jenny: Look! I'm a Fred today!
Fred: I'm a mummy. Wanna help me eat baby brains?
Jenny: Mummies eat brains? I thought that was zombies.
Fred: Oh, yeah... what do mummies do?
Vivica: BOO I'm a ghost rattling my chains at you, mummy boy!
John: That's whipping chains around madly, not rattling them. Settle down or I'll put you in the brig.
Vivica: Ghosts can go through walls! BOO (But she stops swinging the chains so hard.)
Wilma: After school, I get to be on YouTube with my mommy's friend Zenobia. She gots blue hair.
Kelly: I know her. I fink she gots a crush on my Daddy. Look at that silly Bobby!
Ty: Being a girl for Halloween? LAY-ZEE!
Bobby: Fat lot you know. I'm a graveyard. See all my headstones?
Ty: I thought Kelly was a princess and she said she's a Pink Lady from some singing movie.
*****
At the High School, Frodo is waiting for Tanner when he walks in.
Tanner: Who are you supposed to be?
Frodo: Yo Momma.
Tanner: Forgot the green and yellow stripes in your hair. Or are you my Step Momma?
Frodo: Man, you're dumb. I'm Yo Momma from the jokes.
Tanner: Did you see Finnick yet? I thought he was Vegas Elvis but it's some couple costume with Nakoma. Who the hell are Donny and Marie?
Frodo: Brother and sister. Kinda makes that a bad choice for a couple.
Four: How'd you manage to get away with a costume?
Tris: I made the skirt in Home Ec. Wore a black dress today and put the skirt on over it when I got here. Not sure what I'm going to do with it after school. (Checks him out) Nice pirate pants.
Four: I had to wear a shirt because of the dress code, so I just matched them. Real Pirates didn't wear shirts, you know. Except the captains and I'm just the dude that swabbed the deck.
Tris: Of course. The captains took all the nice clothes. (laughs)
Four: I'm going to the diner after school. You know, in case you should happen to want a milkshake and run into me there.
Tris: I'm still grounded for cutting my hair.
Four: Your parents are going to keel over once you're out of their house.
Tris: Tell me about it. I'll do horrible things like date.
Mariko: I love team costumes! Donny and Marie is kind of a weird choice for a couple, but whatever. Whitney wouldn't team costume with me.
Whitney: We couldn't agree on one.
Finnick: You can have these for next year. If one more person calls me Elvis...
Nakoma: Don't be giving away my mom's stuff!
Mariko: Okay, I got the shot. Now put your stupid shoes that don't match back on.
Nakoma: Mine matched.
Mariko: Another team costume! Jurassic Park for the win!
Peeta: It looks better with my scarf and hat, and his shades. They could relax the dress code just for today, don't you think?
Ken: I'm not complaining. We've got one of the most relaxed dress codes in the county. Maybe even the state.
Raven: Hey, guys! I want to apologize for my mom being such a hag to your sisters.
Tanner: She's the one who should apologize. You're cool.
Finnick: Is she like that at home?
Raven: She'll probably disown me if I don't make valedictorian.
****
At the Middle School
Guinness: Please gather over there for a photo, class. Even those of you who aren't in costume.
Student:Who are you supposed to be?
Guinness: The name is Bond. James Bond.
Wendy: Skipper, why didn't you wear a costume?
Skipper: I did. I'm a Disney Fangirl.
Nikki: So you came as yourself? (Giggles) I'm Aphrodite, goddess of love.
Claudia: I'm a spiderweb on a pumpkin. We had to get creative - Ben's still catching up the bills from when Violet fired him.
Ricky: How do girls keep these kind of dresses up?
Courtney: It helps to have, you know, boobs. Or elastic tops. Or both.
Gabriella: Kevin's a party pooper.
Kevin: Halloween's for babies.
*****
Pocahontas makes Anakin pose with his new friends before school. She wants to show his mother how well he's doing.
Pocahontas: Lumberjack, Marty McFly, and Power Ranger.
Roxy: No, I'm the paper towel guy.
Stacie: I think the paper towel guy is a lumberjack.
Anakin: She's gonna send a copy to my mom. She's gotta get it right.
Stacie: Well, it that case... I'm Kimberly, the Pink Ranger. Before she got a boyfriend and her brain fell out.
Pocahontas: A lot of girls have that problem, don't they?
****
After school, the theme continues...
Zenobia: Welcome to the October edition of Zenobia's Vlog - the only news source in town that openly admits to being biased. Today, I'm here at Mayor Pike's home to discuss the upcoming election. The things everyone is talking about are Keep Barbieville Virtuous, Eminent Domain, and two school levies.
Rose-Grace: Keep Barbieville Virtuous, I have to admit I underestimated. Since Becky and Clara came forward, a lot of people admitted to letting their propaganda sway their thinking. Which was, of course, the entire point of the project, and those girls should get the highest possible grades for it.
Zenobia: I am officially endorsing you for Mayor. And not just because I'm friends with your kids, either. I've got nothing against Brent Spiner, but you are doing a great job and should therefore get to keep the position.
Rose-Grace: His campaign is based on the issue of Eminent Domain. Because I used that power to remove unsafe buildings from the Beach Highway, a lot of folks think I plan to continue that pattern. I didn't like doing it. The property owners left me no choice if I wanted to keep structures from collapsing into the sidewalk and roads.
Pocahontas: There's also the ludicrous rumor that we're going to use that to expand the park. Not true. Mom never meant for it to be huge. For what a visit to one of those parks costs, you could come to ours a few times. Their parking lots are as big as our entire property.
Zenobia: You are making some changes, and expanding a bit, though.
Pocahontas: Yes. I bought a bit of land off Hadley Drive. A new roller coaster is going in on that property, at least part of it is. There's a name change in the works. (Chuckles) One thing Mom and I never agreed on was the name of the park.
Zenobia: You're the guardian of two younger siblings, both of which attend Barbieville schools. How do you feel about the levies?
Pocahontas: I support both of them. But I think your other guest has more to say on that subject and she'll make my points very nicely.
Zenobia: Whitney Darling is a student at Barbieville High and an employee of the Sunburst Diner.
Whitney: I moved here when I was 13. I need to tell that story to illustrate my points. (Heavy sigh) I passed out in math class and was taken to the hospital, where we discovered I was pregnant. Yes, at 13. My school had no Sex Ed at all. My knowledge of those things was limited to, basically, girls have periods. My dad ordered me to get an abortion.
Zenobia: But you didn't.
Whitney: My parents ended up divorcing, actually, over it. Mom got custody of me and my sister and we moved here. I didn't think - and still don't think - inconvenience is a good reason for an abortion. I debated my other options, but eventually we decided to keep Wilma. Say hi, Wilma.
Wilma: Hi, audience people! Vote for Freddy's step-mommy!
Whitney: Mom does most of the parenting, to be perfectly honest, and I love Wilma to pieces, but it's very difficult. If my old school had a comprehensive Sex Ed program - or even just a basic one - I could have waited a few years. Issue 1 wants to give us that. The program proposed would teach it just like any other bodily system. Things like birth control and STDs would be covered no differently than, say, smoking or diabetes.
Zenobia: What about the people who say it will put the idea in our kids' heads?
Whitney: Trust me, that idea is already there. Puberty kicks it into high gear, but it's there from the time we're born. Maybe even conceived.
Rose-Grace: You also wanted to talk about Issue 2. I personally feel the existing security is more than enough. How do you feel about the security in our schools?
Whitney: It's true that the way they do it now is good. It kept my dad out when he showed up to take Wendy back - he'd given up on me by then. He was stopped at the entrance and turned away. But that was an unarmed man.
Rose-Grace: School shootings get a lot of press, but they're rare.
Whitney: Yes, they are. I don't want our schools to be fortresses, but kids can't learn if they're scared. Issue 2 isn't a whole lot different from me giving Wilma a nightlight. Sometimes we have to go a little extra to make our kids feel safe.
Zenobia: Well, this Vlog is getting kind of long. To sum up: Vote for Rose-Grace Pike. The amusement park isn't going to engulf Barbieville. Vote yes on Issues 1 and 2. Unless you agree with our esteemed mayor, then vote no on 2.
(General laughter.)
Whitney: Oh, and I apologize for my costume destroying the Disney Princess vibe the rest of you have going on here. I must have missed the memo.
Zenobia: At least you're a princess. Little Wilma here, she's the one who killed the vibe.
Outro music plays over Zenobia tickling Wilma.
*********
Note from the story teller: Some residents of Barbieville didn't make it into the story, but they want to show off their costumes. Check them out:
... the party poopers
And, of course, the BOUSes
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