Ghosts and Gossip

 

Doll County Paranormal begins an investigation of local amusement park Witch's Cove.  They split into teams of two.

Jimin:  The most common mistakes made by beginners are pareidolia and backscatter. 

Esperanza: I know about pareidolia.  That's when we see a face where there is no face, because our brains are wired to look for them.  We use it in theater, for subliminal creepiness in a scary production.  

Jimin: Good.  Backscatter is when things like dust are mistaken for ghostly orbs.  Always look for a practical explanation first.  And don't take it to heart if we tease you.  We're still teasing Nova about a screech owl.  

Nova: We're picking up something.  Quit leaning on the post and take some pictures.  

Ken: I'm just catching my breath.  

Nova: Take pictures while you do it.  Especially towards the Raging Rapids - I feel like something that direction is watching us. 

Hagrid: Check this out. 

Kenna: That's probably radio transmissions.  A steel coaster is basically just a big twisted antenna. 

Hagrid: Sure, some of it.  Maybe even most of it.  But there's weirdness on each end of the frequency range.  Spikes at the same time, on each end.

Frodo: This path is supposed to be a very active area.  Jeremiah wants the trip sensors on either side.  Mine's good, but what is going on at your end?  You got fairies dancing around over there? 

Peeta: Only fairy around here is me, smarty pants.  I can't get the damn sensor cone to stay upright.

Frodo: Sounds like a personal problem to me. 

******

Meanwhile: At Sunburst, after a meeting of the Teacher's Union.  

Rallee: I'm glad we got everything sorted.  I was really dreading a strike.  As superintendent, I get all the blame if that happens.  Maybe I should try for that new WDLC show.  I could retire from the whole mess.

Gwen: I'm actually thinking about applying.  I love to teach, but I sure ain't in it for the money. 

Snape: It's practically prostitution, Gwen! 

Rallee: It can be argued that all marriage is prostitution.  

Gwen: You both are such sourpusses.  Why am I sitting with you? 

Suzie: You aren't seriously?

Doreen:  Already mailed the application packet.  I'm not desperate for a man to define me, never have been, but I get tired of sleeping alone.  Two of my kids are grown and in serious relationships.  Tommy's the same age as the potential stepchild.  

Suzie:  Two?  Who is Bonnie dating? 

Midna: Everything good?  Anyone need a refill?

McG: Perhaps you can settle an argument for us.  How do you feel about this Mrs. Moneybags program WDLC will be putting on? 

Midna (shrugs): It's not anything I'm interested in.  Seems like a goofy way to get a husband, but I've seen goofier.  

Susan: You agree, then, that there's nothing immoral or unethical about it?

Nancy:  But it's so decidedly unromantic! 

McG:  Not all women can be as fortunate as we are.  Particularly in modern society.  

Nancy:  My daughters are grown, so I can't forbid them, but I have strongly advised against it.  

McG: I'd tell my daughter it's a bad idea if she shows an interest in anything but dinosaurs.  If she ever marries, it's bound to be a Velociraptor.  

Ghosts and Gold Diggers

 Diana is finishing up her first day teaching at the college when a man enters. 

Jeremiah:  Diana Prince?  

Diana: Yes.  Can I help you with something? 

Jeremiah:  I hope so.  I'm the president of Doll County Paranormal.  We investigate claims of hauntings, with a scientific focus, and our current project is at Witch's Cove.  Are you familiar with this area at all? 

Diana: I graduated with Pocahontas.  And I believe you graduated with my brother Severus.  

 

Jeremiah (chuckles): Small world.  Anyway... we're putting together a video of this particular investigation, to sell in Witch's Cove's gift shops, and hoped to have an actual historian present the -- well, the history of the place.

Diana:  I hate to be rude, but it's been a long day and I just want to get home to my son.  Can I give you my card and we'll make arrangements? 

****

At The Point, a motel and campground on the south shore of Muneca Lake

William: I've been considering your proposal.  I'm sorry, but I just can't condone gold digging. 

Charlotte: It's not gold digging if it's honest.  I know many people look down on me, but Billy knew the entire time that I wouldn't have been with him if he was broke.  And Rayshawn isn't looking for that type of girl, anyway, they'd all be eliminated quickly. 

Rayshawn: Right.  You see those shows on TV, it's all hot tubs and cocktails, but my elimination criteria is gonna include working on renovating The Point and getting along with my kid.   Gold-diggers ain't into that kind of thing, are you, Charlotte? 

Charlotte: I prefer the term social climber, thank you very much.  

William: Wait.  You want to bring in a bunch of women with the marry a millionaire concept and then make them do manual labor?  

Charlotte: He's following my example.  This way he can focus on compatibility without wondering if she's faking interest to get at the money.  Rayshawn envies us because our marriage isn't based on deceit.  

William: I'm beginning to see some merit in this idea.  Would the child have a say in the matter?  Perhaps even act as one of the judges? That's an angle we haven't seen.  Father and son decide the elimination.  

******

Friday afternoon, DCP meets at the Overlook in Witch's Cove.

Jeremiah: OK, y'all, we need to get coordinated for this weekend's investigation.  HQ will be here, in the event venue, but of course we'll be spread out over the entire property.  But before we get started, Phoebe Guinness has news.

Phoebe:  I've submitted my paperwork for my doctorate.  Accredited schools don't have one for parapsychology, so it's actually in plain ole psych, but with a heavy focus on the para!  

Jeremiah: And welcome to the team Diana Prince and Esperanza Hernandez.  Diana is a history professor and will be acting as team historian, but Esperanza will be out in the field with us.  Remember, everyone, we do not scoff at rookie mistakes.  We once made them ourselves.  

Diana: May I say, whoever did the research for this specific project did an excellent job.  

Nakoma: That would be Phoebe.  She's currently employed in the park and therefore not allowed to take part in the field work.  Jeremiah's rules, not mine!  (To Jeremiah)  I'm here as park owner, to protect our legal interests.  

Diana (to Esperanza): That's Pocahontas?  She looks so young. 

Esperanza: Nakoma.  The younger sister.

Diana: Wow.  I'm really behind on my hometown gossip.