Mrs. Moneybags Premiere

As the camera crew gets ready, Rayshawn comes into The Point's office and is surprised to see some familiar faces.

Rayshawn:  Doreen?  Gwen?  You're about the last faces I expected to see.  

Doreen: Our packets had our names on them. 

Rayshawn: Oh, they removed the names before I saw any of that.  So I wouldn't associate your renovation ideas with any faces until the time came.  Charlotte's in charge of the personal data, at least for now.

Tierra (whispering):  He already knows some of us?  That doesn't seem fair. 

Seven (whispering): Don't sweat it.  If they were anyone he's attracted to, this whole situation wouldn't exist.  

Esperanza: I'm a local, too.  At least technically, but I consider myself a Baltimore girl.  We lived there until recently.

Sally: I've been to Baltimore a few times.  Lovely city.  

The cameras are rolling as Rayshawn addresses the group.

Rayshawn:  Ladies, I'm Rayshawn Lucas, the man for whose affections you'll be competing for.   This young man at my side is Marty Lucas, my son and a fellow judge in the elimination rounds.  And this is Charlotte Jackson.  She's the person you've all been communicating with up til now.  Your task today is a simple one - tell the audience a little about yourself.  You'll be interviewed in your rooms.

Doreen:  I'm Doreen Carson, a kindergarten teacher and widowed mother of three.  I'm pretty old-fashioned, but I hope to continue to teach if I win this, just because I love the little ones.  I'm not afraid of hard work and thinking outside the box, but my age might be an issue.  I could be the mother of some of my competition!

Regina: Regina Vidal.  I'm an influencer.  (Rattles off a list of social media handles.)  I'm willing to do whatever it takes.  I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to win.  Hashtag Reggie V! 

Seven: My name is Seven Lincoln.  Yes, Seven.  It's a spiritually powerful number, or so my parents tell me.  (laughs)  I'm a waitress, never married, no kids, and frankly I'm just tired of living from check to check.   I know it's a long shot, especially after seeing some of my competition, but I'm just going to be myself and hope for the best.  

Tierra: My name is Tierra Parker.  I have a degree in Theater Arts, am serving an internship at a major Broadway Theater and working as an exotic dancer to pay the bills.  My goal here is to come out with some valuable experience, if not with a wealthy husband. 

Gwen: I'm Gwen Jones, a single, childless English teacher.  I love teaching, but if I can marry wealth, so much the better.  Those Student Loans would be gone before the honeymoon ended!  

Esperanza: Esperanza Hernandez, actress and dancer.  I used to sing, but my vocal cords were damaged by illness.  I've quite open-minded, having been raised by two mothers, and I think that gives me an advantage over some of the more conservative ladies here.  

Sally: Sally West.  I was a rodeo performer until a work place accident left me unable to do so.  

In the office, while filming goes on elsewhere, Rayshawn consults with Charlotte and Marty. 

Charlotte: Well, you certainly drew in an eclectic group of possible brides.  God help you. 

Rayshawn (laughing): If you can't be nice, I'll fire you.  

Marty: You aren't paying her, Dad.  How can you fire her? 

 

Charlotte: What about you, Martin?  Do you approve of this bunch of slatterns? 

Rayshawn: Your opinion is just as important as mine - something else Charlotte and I disagree on. 

Marty: I don't know yet.  I just met them for like two minutes. 

Taylor's Condition

 Note to readers: Sex talk ahead!  Flee now if you must! 

Taylor and her parents meet with her doctors to discuss the recent discovery that she is Intersex. 

Marcus:  One thing I need to say before we start: The medical establishment does not assign genders at birth. We diagnose a sex, a biological state.  Society assigns gender based on that diagnosis.  What we're talking about here today is sex - not gender.

Pike: Understood.  

Marcus: There are four biological definitions of male or female, and in most people those aspects are all in agreement.   

Lara: Taylor has displayed a remarkable knowledge of the subject, but I'll review them for the parents' sake.  

Taylor:  I did a presentation last year on it for Mrs. Guinness's class.  One of my classmates kept running his mouth about "there's only two" and I just wanted to shut him up.  Didn't work. 

Lara: When a child is born, we diagnose sex by the appearance of the genitalia.  In animals without a clear external structure,  the sex is determined by gonads - males make sperm, females make eggs.  Then there's DNA and hormone levels.  

Rose-Grace: That's why you called it Complete AIS, because there was no "wait a minute, what sex is this kid".  Incomplete, she would have looked unusual? 

Pike: What does all this mean for Taylor's future?  

Lara: Yes, in the case of Incomplete Androgen Insensitivity, the genitalia would be ambiguous.  (to Pike's question) Beyond the question of motherhood, I don't think this will change anything about her life's trajectory.   She has no ovaries or womb, and therefore can't get pregnant.   But Taylor is quite healthy otherwise.

Marcus:  Two of the factors indicate male, two indicate female.  But that's just the biology.  (To Taylor) You seem to be taking all of this very well, but I do recommend you see one of our counselors.  It's quite a bit to cope with. 

Taylor: I'm actually kind of relieved, to be honest.  I'd half convinced myself I had something horrible wrong with me.  Something that would kill me. But yeah, if you want me to see a shrink, I will.   

Has Mattel Done It Again?

There's been more than one mistake in the long history of Barbie.  Some of them were the result of Mattel's ignorance of subcultures in our society.  I'm concerned they may have done it again!

Earring Magic Ken dressed like the rest of Barbie's Earring Magic crew.  Leather and mesh tops in vibrant colors, hoops dangling everywhere so they could be switched out with the doll's earrings.  The look gave the females in the line a vaguely disco-biker look, but since Ken was male...  One report said he "would be at home on Christopher Street".  Christopher Street at the time was well known for homosexual promiscuity.  Since Ken is canonically in a committed heterosexual relationship with Barbie, such was clearly not Mattel's intent.  

Given the time of the doll's release, Mattel had probably planned for some controversy about his earring.  Male earrings were a new thing and the guys were very careful to get the correct one pierced.  Ken's piercing indicates his heterosexuality, but this doll was quickly pulled from production because of the implications of the rest of his wardrobe.

Oreo Barbie was a case of damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't.  Mattel worked with Nabisco to make a doll hawking the classic cookie.  Mattel has a history of at least attempting inclusive doll lines (some better than others) and so the Oreo doll was offered in two skin tones - the classic blonde and the one pictured.  Can you guess what the problem was?

In slang, an Oreo is someone white on the inside and black on the outside.  (My Sioux friend tells me her people have a similar use of "apple".)  So this doll was laughed off the shelf.  Instead of "these cookies are yummy" she sent a message of "I betray my people".  Not exactly what Mattel had in mind.

  For context, I will remind my readers that a few years before this line, Midge got married.  The Midge bride doll was dropped off by Santa one year, under my sister's tree, and her daughter was a Midge girl from that moment on.  I remember eyeing the wedding set - six dolls - and forcing myself to pass it by for reasons that have no bearing here. 

The Happy Family line created chaos, in part because silly Mattel forgot at first to give Midge a wedding ring, but mostly because people still thought of these dolls as teenagers.  There were also those who knew Midge was married, they knew Midge was of age, they just didn't care.  That doll is teaching children about sex.  As if children haven't been rubbing Barbie and Ken together since 1961, without Mattel giving them the idea. 

So a happily married, adult doll was removed from production because it was scandalous.

Side Note: Midge's baby bump was magnetic and without it she looked no different from any other Midge.  The hollow-bodied horror many articles show is not even a Mattel product.

And now we reach the latest possible scandal.  Cutie Reveal dolls come wearing animal costumes.  My first thought was cheerleading mascot.  Some others are reminded of The Masked Singer TV show.  The costume, sans the head and paws, could be fuzzy pajamas.  The top doubles as a jacket over a molded on swimsuit.  There's a variety of skin tones and nine points of articulation.

  But way too many of us are calling them "Furry Barbie".

Furries are, put simply, people who cosplay as animals.  There is a sexual component, which gets all the press, but I suspect it's likely comparable to Trekkies role-playing in (and out of) their Starfleet uniforms.  The public opinion of Furries seems to be that they are all raging perverts.

I think this line is really cute.  I've managed to get Panda and didn't find her in my usual store.  I'm worried that these gals might go the way of the others mentioned in this blog.  Poor Ken, outed because he wanted to match his friends.  Poor Oreo, betraying her heritage by liking a cookie.  Poor Midge, reproducing in the most socially acceptable way there is.

I hope Mattel holds their ground on this one.

Surprise!

Seven and Tierra arrive at The Point, identify themselves as Mr. Moneybags contestants, and are given keys to their rooms.

Seven:  This is the place owned by Mr. Moneybags?  It's awfully tacky.

Tierra: Well, he did say in the packet that he's rescuing the place.  Probably got it cheap.

Seven: For obvious reasons.  Heart shaped beds?  Seriously?

Tierra: It's clean.  No broken windows.  I'm okay with it.

Seven: You're easily pleased.  There's not even a pool!

Tierra: Did you miss that lake out there?   (laughs)  Honestly, from the description, it's nicer than I expected.  If it was a nice place, it wouldn't need rescued.

Seven: I guess you're right.  I just didn't expect the No-Tell Motel.  

Tierra: I just hope our luggage gets here soon.  That poor girl collapsed at Halfsies, and I didn't have the heart to make them wait on me during all that.  

Seven: We'll go back later, after the excitement dies down.  Did you notice the girl at the front desk called us out-of-towners?  That means some of our competition is local women.  They might have an edge, since they probably know the guy. 

Tierra: He can't be too enthused about the locals if he's doing all this.  I wonder when the others will arrive.  

Seven: Well, we do have a week before filming begins.

*****

At the hospital, Pike and Rose-Grace wait for word about Taylor.

Rose-Grace: All we know at this point is that she's in surgery.  We're waiting.

Mace (on phone): Should I call Finnick at work?  

Rose-Grace: Wait until we hear more.  Are all the other kids home?  

Mace:  Yes, and the Pikes.  McG is cooking dinner - not sure what it is, but it smells great.  

Pike:  They're here, hon.  (Rose-Grace promised to call Mace back and hangs up)  Is Taylor okay?  What happened to her? 

Lara: It was her appendix.  She's out of danger and on her way to Recovery.  She's going to be fine.

Marcus:  But there is a complication of sorts.  Please sit down, this will take some explaining.

Marcus:  During the surgery, we noticed something unusual.  

Rose-Grace:  Oh, God, it's cancer?! 

Lara: No. (To Marcus) I told you not to put it like that.  (To the parents) We found a testicle where Taylor's ovary should be. 

Pike:  She's a hermaphrodite? 

Lara: The preferred term is Intersex, but yes.  (To Rose-Grace)  My records indicate she's never --

Rose-Grace: I thought she was just a late bloomer.  Mom was a late bloomer, and so was I. 

Lara:  I'll have to do more tests to be sure, but I suspect Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome.  AIS is usually not detected until puberty.  

Rose-Grace:  Do what you need to do.  Get answers.  (To Marcus)  Can we see her now?

So It Begins

Halfsies Sewing and Alterations, late afternoon.

Iris:  Taylor, what do you think?  Should we have a display of accessories for sale?  Or just focus on the clothing itself? 

Taylor: It's not a bad idea.  Make a little extra money with inexpensive things, but not have a full-on jewelry depart -- ow! 

Iris: What is it? Are you okay? 

Taylor: Yeah, just a little twinge here, in my side.  Comes and goes. 

Dawn: Cramps?  Is it that time of the month? 

Taylor: I wish.  Mom says I'm a late bloomer.  If I've not started by my sixteenth birthday, I'm going to the doctor.  (rubs the spot)  This doesn't feel like a muscle cramp, anyway.

Dawn:  Remember the days when we wished for that, Iris?  

Iris: I didn't start til eighth grade and thought there was something seriously wrong with me.  

Taylor (laughs):  I've kept Mom busy with all the old wives' tales I've fallen for. Anyway... I'll get back to organizing the fabric in the work area.

Dawn: Customers.  Did we have anyone picking up an order today?

Iris: No.  I hope it's not that Jackson woman again.  She drives me nuts.

Tierra (confused): We were told this is a boutique? 

Seven: I told you it wasn't.  (To Dawn and Iris) The airport lost our luggage.  We just need a couple changes of clothes, to get us through til the luggage is found. 

Iris: Well, we do have a few pieces that our clients rejected.  They're quality work.  (uses intercom to ask Taylor to bring in the rejects)  Come to think of it, Dawn, we could display the rejects along with accessories.

Iris: Might want to call them something besides rejects if we do that.  

Tierra: We met on the plane.  We're both here for Mrs. Moneybags.  I always made fun of the women on those shows, and look at me now.

Iris: It's not typical, from what I hear.  More old fashioned helpmeet stuff, less champagne and caviar.  He's redoing The Point, and from what I've seen of that place, it's not going to be easy.

Seven:  That's what got my attention.  Part of the application packet focused on interior design and landscaping.  Are either of you ladies participating?

Iris: I'm happily married.

Dawn: I've met Rayshawn.  He's not my type. Besides, it'd be hard to run this place and The Point. 

Seven: Oh, you have?  What's he like?  What about his children? 

Iris: I'm going to go see what's keeping Taylor.  

Iris finds Taylor on the floor, gripping her belly and whimpering.

Iris (shouting):  Call an ambulance!  Call Taylor's parents!  Something's wrong with her!