Taylor Tells The Family

After receiving an alarming call, Rose-Grace combines errands with tracking down her husband.

Rose-Grace:  There you are!  Daisy told me you were in HBAD! 

Pike:  I was, last she knew.  What's going on?

Fred: Step Mommy's real upset.  Tell her it's okay, Daddy. 

Rose-Grace: I just got a call from the Medical Social Worker.  It seems Stacie's convinced herself Taylor is dying.  I know we told Taylor it could wait until she was ready to tell the family, but... 

Pike:  Stacie never really got over your mom's death.  (Significant glance toward Fred)  And this might be too complex for some members of the family. 

Fred: I told Stacie it was big people stuff.  She don't never listen to me. 

*****

That evening.... 

Taylor:  What the hell?!  Does she think we're a bunch of liars?! 

Pike: We kind of set a precedent for what she thinks is going on, given how we failed to properly explain Grammy's illness. 

Taylor: Well, I'm not happy, but I guess we don't have a lot of choice at this point.  Can't have Stacie accidentally starting rumors. 

Rose-Grace:  I'll spread the word.  Family meeting tonight, after the little ones go to bed.  Might as well tell everyone at once.  And I'm sorry we have to rush this on you. 

Taylor: Apology accepted.  I almost have my head wrapped around it, anyway, so... 

Taylor: I... When my appendix burst, the surgeons found out that I don't have internal female guts.  Where my ovaries should be, I have testicles. It's called Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome.  (Looks directly at Stacie)  I can't have babies, that's all it really means.  I am not dying. 

Lee:  Wait, what?  

McG:  I'll explain when we get home, dear.  No need to prolong Taylor's discomfort. 

Finnick: Isn't that really rare? 

Taylor: Yes, it is.  And I'd appreciate it if y'all are careful who you talk to about this.  I'm not ashamed or anything, but it's a private matter.  I really don't want it getting all over town. 

Morgan: People can be very cruel, even if they mean well.   I don't blame you for wanting to keep this quiet... especially in high school! 

Mace: That doesn't make any sense... I changed your diapers, you're a girl.  

Tanner: The only boy parts she has are inside, Grandpa.  It's not like the other kinds of Intersex, where the problem's obvious.  

Nikki: Is that in my sex ed book?  Or do we not cover that til a higher grade?

Stacie:  You're not dying?!  Really and truly?! (Runs across the room and hugs Taylor.) 

 

Taylor's Condition

 Note to readers: Sex talk ahead!  Flee now if you must! 

Taylor and her parents meet with her doctors to discuss the recent discovery that she is Intersex. 

Marcus:  One thing I need to say before we start: The medical establishment does not assign genders at birth. We diagnose a sex, a biological state.  Society assigns gender based on that diagnosis.  What we're talking about here today is sex - not gender.

Pike: Understood.  

Marcus: There are four biological definitions of male or female, and in most people those aspects are all in agreement.   

Lara: Taylor has displayed a remarkable knowledge of the subject, but I'll review them for the parents' sake.  

Taylor:  I did a presentation last year on it for Mrs. Guinness's class.  One of my classmates kept running his mouth about "there's only two" and I just wanted to shut him up.  Didn't work. 

Lara: When a child is born, we diagnose sex by the appearance of the genitalia.  In animals without a clear external structure,  the sex is determined by gonads - males make sperm, females make eggs.  Then there's DNA and hormone levels.  

Rose-Grace: That's why you called it Complete AIS, because there was no "wait a minute, what sex is this kid".  Incomplete, she would have looked unusual? 

Pike: What does all this mean for Taylor's future?  

Lara: Yes, in the case of Incomplete Androgen Insensitivity, the genitalia would be ambiguous.  (to Pike's question) Beyond the question of motherhood, I don't think this will change anything about her life's trajectory.   She has no ovaries or womb, and therefore can't get pregnant.   But Taylor is quite healthy otherwise.

Marcus:  Two of the factors indicate male, two indicate female.  But that's just the biology.  (To Taylor) You seem to be taking all of this very well, but I do recommend you see one of our counselors.  It's quite a bit to cope with. 

Taylor: I'm actually kind of relieved, to be honest.  I'd half convinced myself I had something horrible wrong with me.  Something that would kill me. But yeah, if you want me to see a shrink, I will.   

Surprise!

Seven and Tierra arrive at The Point, identify themselves as Mr. Moneybags contestants, and are given keys to their rooms.

Seven:  This is the place owned by Mr. Moneybags?  It's awfully tacky.

Tierra: Well, he did say in the packet that he's rescuing the place.  Probably got it cheap.

Seven: For obvious reasons.  Heart shaped beds?  Seriously?

Tierra: It's clean.  No broken windows.  I'm okay with it.

Seven: You're easily pleased.  There's not even a pool!

Tierra: Did you miss that lake out there?   (laughs)  Honestly, from the description, it's nicer than I expected.  If it was a nice place, it wouldn't need rescued.

Seven: I guess you're right.  I just didn't expect the No-Tell Motel.  

Tierra: I just hope our luggage gets here soon.  That poor girl collapsed at Halfsies, and I didn't have the heart to make them wait on me during all that.  

Seven: We'll go back later, after the excitement dies down.  Did you notice the girl at the front desk called us out-of-towners?  That means some of our competition is local women.  They might have an edge, since they probably know the guy. 

Tierra: He can't be too enthused about the locals if he's doing all this.  I wonder when the others will arrive.  

Seven: Well, we do have a week before filming begins.

*****

At the hospital, Pike and Rose-Grace wait for word about Taylor.

Rose-Grace: All we know at this point is that she's in surgery.  We're waiting.

Mace (on phone): Should I call Finnick at work?  

Rose-Grace: Wait until we hear more.  Are all the other kids home?  

Mace:  Yes, and the Pikes.  McG is cooking dinner - not sure what it is, but it smells great.  

Pike:  They're here, hon.  (Rose-Grace promised to call Mace back and hangs up)  Is Taylor okay?  What happened to her? 

Lara: It was her appendix.  She's out of danger and on her way to Recovery.  She's going to be fine.

Marcus:  But there is a complication of sorts.  Please sit down, this will take some explaining.

Marcus:  During the surgery, we noticed something unusual.  

Rose-Grace:  Oh, God, it's cancer?! 

Lara: No. (To Marcus) I told you not to put it like that.  (To the parents) We found a testicle where Taylor's ovary should be. 

Pike:  She's a hermaphrodite? 

Lara: The preferred term is Intersex, but yes.  (To Rose-Grace)  My records indicate she's never --

Rose-Grace: I thought she was just a late bloomer.  Mom was a late bloomer, and so was I. 

Lara:  I'll have to do more tests to be sure, but I suspect Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome.  AIS is usually not detected until puberty.  

Rose-Grace:  Do what you need to do.  Get answers.  (To Marcus)  Can we see her now?

From The Past

Gabriella's discovery of a submerged SUV in the waters of Witch's Cove Inlet, the connection to Muneca Lake for the town's many small streams, has brought Lynch and Carol to the park. 

Gabriella: I just caught a glimpse of something odd from the corner of my eye.  Had to use my phone's camera and zoom in to tell what it was.  But I didn't take a picture.  I ran back over here to tell Dad. 

Lynch: You were on your way to the restroom? 

Carol:  I didn't know you could see down into the inlet from this side. 

Gabriella: Usually, you can't, but part of the underbrush is all smashed down.  I think that's what I noticed.  I did go back over there, to use the restroom, while we were waiting for you to arrive.  I had to go pretty bad. 

Lynch: I'll make a note of that.  (To Carol)  They keep the underbrush thick to keep people from going over the edge, either by accident or on purpose.  Amusement park is an easy swim across from here, if you can get to the water.  

Carol: An SUV driving through, especially at speed, would crush the undergrowth.  We should have CSI check for tire tracks from the parking area.  

Ryder: Man, Tate, you just keep running into those good looking cop ladies.  If this was a chick flick, it'd be a sure sign of... 

Tate: You watch chick flicks? 

Ryder: I live with three sisters, two of which are teenagers.   Who do you prefer?  The cop or the fed? 

Joe: The cop is happily married with three kids.  

Ryder: I guess it's the fed, then. 

Joe (rolls his eyes):  And they say women are chatty.  Y'all talk more in an hour than any female employee I've ever had did in a day.  

Tate: With my luck, if I find a lady, she'll be buried under 50 years worth of newspapers in my uncle's attic or basement.  (To Joe)  It's all him, man.  I swear. 

****

At Windu Acres, Candy catches Pike up on her recent reunion with Dawn Lung. 

Pike: I think I remember her now.  The girl I called your little sister?  Her dad got busted for bigamy and her parents both sucked so bad she ended up in the system?

Candy: Right.  When wife number two found out Dawn was going in and out of foster care, she stepped up.  Figured Dawn was her daughter's sister, so they should be together.  Funny she ended up here, too, isn't it?  

Pike: That's just how cool Barbieville is.  What's Dawn doing these days? 

Candy: She and her sister have a business called Tailoring by Halfsies. 

Finnick: Hey, you should see if she can give Taylor a job.  She's recently rediscovered how much she loves sewing.  Has Grammy's machine set up in her room and everything. 

Candy: I could ask her.  But I think we should talk to Taylor and Rose-Grace first. 

Finnick: Step-Mom just pulled in.  I heard her car. 

Rose-Grace (on phone): Excellent.  Keep me updated,  Lynch.  I want this nightmare over. 

Pike: Hey, when you're -- 

Rose-Grace: Honey, you know it take me a while to switch from Mayor Mode.  Do you need Wife Mode or Mom Mode?  

Pike: Since it relates to Taylor, definitely Mom Mode. 

 

A Lucky Break?

 Note: COVID masks are invisible to readers.  The hospital allows up to two people to be in the ER waiting room if they're with an ER patient. 

After Pike and Rose-Grace leave in a hurry, Mace gathers the kids. 

Fred: Sumpin bad happened!  Maybe somebody got dead! 

Mace: It's Candy.  That mad bastard who's running over people hit her, but she is alive. 

Stacie:  Mom?  Why would anyone want to runover Mom?

Tanner: Me and Finnick need to go.  Mom said, since we're adults now, she was going to change the paperwork so Dad's not POA any more. 

Whitney: We can't invade the ER.  That'd be bad even if there wasn't a pandemic on.  

Taylor: Yeah, if you go, everyone's gonna want to.  And don't start with how you'd stop us.  You know damn well you wouldn't argue if we managed to get into the car before you got it started. 

Finnick: She might not have done it yet, though.  You know how she procrastinates stuff like that.  

Nakoma: She's a tough woman.  I bet she's gonna be fine. 

Finnick: I just need to sit tight.

*****

At the hospital.

Pike: They've got medical students working the front desk?  

Boudicca: I help out everywhere, at least until my actual residency starts.  (Goes over the file, updating information as needed.)  This says her maiden name was Barr?  Candy Barr? 

Rose-Grace:  That's one of the reasons she kept Pike's name after they divorced.  Her parents were easily amused.  

Boudicca: All right, then.  It does say that the twins are listed as POA, but I don't think we need to contact them until Dr. Eaton makes a determination on her condition.  I'll be around if you need anything and someone will update you ASAP. 

Pike:  She'll be fine, honey.  She's survived worse.  

Rose-Grace: Are you trying to convince me or yourself? 

Pike:  I'm not sure.  This guy going after Candy makes me wonder if she was working the case.  But don't the cops have their own photographers? 

Rose-Grace: She could have been working on a story about the case.  Probably with someone from the Journal or WDLC.   I can make some calls if you want.

Pike: Maybe later.  Right now, I just need my wife.  Not the mayor. 

*****

When Gabriella and Claudia hear the news, they rush to their best friends' sides.  

Taylor: When they got the call, Mom and Grandpa were giving Dad a hard time for being racially insensitive.  He told me the exact same thing he told the twins - you know, those white boys!  I thought it was great that he treated me equal to them, but no.  They gotta ride him for his word choice.  

Gabriella: Well, it's tricky.  Maybe his word choice could be better, but his heart's definitely in the right place.  He's been such a great dad for you and Nikki.  

Taylor: Candy's been awesome, too.  Oh, Gabriella, I hope she's okay! 

Claudia: Not knowing what's going on is the worst.  

Nikki: Is it weird to be this worried about her?  I mean, she's just my... what... stepdad's ex? 

Claudia: I think of her kind of as your aunt or something.  Would it be weird to worry about Morgan? 

Whitney: I was so mad at you about Esper, and now this.  You could lose your mother. 

Tanner: Hey, Mom getting hurt has nothing to do with that.  You have every right to be mad at me. Even if you're wrong.

Nakoma: Because Esperanza is a meddling drama queen.  Sorry, Whit, I'm with the guys on this one. 

*****

Finally, after an eternity....

Marcus:  Candy's stabilized, but still unconsious.  I've called in a specialist for one of her legs - her knee took the brunt of the impact and is pretty much shattered.  Her vitals look good, all things considered.  

Rose-Grace: That's all?  This guy killed the others. 

Marcus (chuckles):  The others didn't see him coming and jump onto his hood.  By the way, I let the federal agent take Candy's go-pro.  Might be some useful footage on it. 

More Plots and Plans

 

Nakoma: What are you doing?  Isn't this your brother's job?

Finnick: I told him I would do this so he could talk to Whitney.  She's pretty mad about us plotting against Esper.  Barely got any rehearsal in, which sucks because our schedules are so hard to coordinate anymore. 

Nakoma: I told you not to mention it to Whitney.  She's convinced if she rocks the boat, it'll break her mom and Brent up. 

Finnick: Brent's sister's kid is the one rocking the boat.  

Nakoma: Put down the... whatever that is.  I'll help you after I get you calmed down. 

A bit later, Finnick asks what Pocahontas said about the Overlook renovation. 

Nakoma: I think she's too much like Mom to admit she liked the changes, but she gave me the go-ahead to plan a grand event.  Once the windows are installed, it'll be all but ready.  

Finnick: Make it formal.  I wanna see you all done up like a princess, you're so beautiful.  

Nakoma: You know what, I've got an idea.  We can get Esper without a huge plot.  Just a little one. 

****

Inside, Pike just opened his mouth and inserted his foot. 

Mace (laughing): Oh, man.  You're lucky I know you're just ignorant.  I'd hate to have to beat you down in front of these babies. 

Rose-Grace: You told Taylor to do what?! 

Pike: Umm... is this a black thing or a girl thing? 

Rose-Grace:  Both, actually.  We've been getting told to keep our heads down and be on our best behavior forever!   (sighs)  What have I told you is the go-to line when dealing with racists or misogynists? 

Pike: But Snape's not a racist or a misogynist.  He did the same thing to the twins.

Rose-Grace: Snape's a classist, and he's stereotyping our children.  The line applies here. 

Pike: Rise above and prove him wrong.  But isn't that the same thing? 

Mace (still laughing): You told Taylor to know her place.  Toe the line.  Be a good little -- 

One of the phones on the table goes off.  Rose-Grace grabs it, annoyed at the interruption. 

Rose-Grace: This is a really bad time, Lynch.  (pause) Okay, but... (pause)  Is she all right?! 

Back To School Prep

 

Mayor Rose-Grace Pike meets with Superintendent Rallee Jones to make a public statement.

Rose-Grace:  Superintendent Jones, welcome.  I'll give the floor to you right away.  The citizens of Barbieville School District have been waiting for our decision since the pandemic began.  

Rallee: It's not been an easy one, that's for certain!  It really is a no win situation, I'm afraid. 

Rallee (to the assembled press):  Even though Barbieville has been fortunate during the pandemic - thanks to the cooperation of our citizens - facing the coming school year is a challenge.  Marcus Eaton, director of Doll County Hospital and Affiliated Medicine, has met with educators and toured the schools in an effort to create the best plan possible.  (checks her notes)  For the sake of preventing illness, the remote learning we implemented in the spring is ideal, but the simple truth is that it creates a burden on parents.  Many of Barbieville's families are unable to work from home or to quit their jobs. 

Reporter: Shouldn't the safety of their children be more important than their jobs? 

Rallee (sharply): It is quite difficult to keep a home without an income.  Homeless children are hardly safe. (ignoring murmurs from the press)  We will be continuing the remote learning for those families who prefer it.  I personally suggest taking advantage of that option if possible.  However, for those families who need or prefer in-person schooling, we will be opening the buildings.  This hybrid approach is only made possible by the extreme dedication of our teachers, including those who are usually substitutes.  We are aware that social distancing guidelines cannot be met perfectly, but we are doing what we can, and strict mask procedures will be in place.  Further information is provided on the school board's website.  

*****

At Windu Acres, that evening.

Stacie: Why's my stuff gotta be what moves?  

Nikki: Because your stuff is easiest to move and it takes up the most room.  Besides, you'll get to use Grammy's sewing table with us.  I can teach you how to sew when Taylor isn't working on a project for Home Ec. 

Stacie: I gotta go help Grandpa in the barn.  You better not throw anything away.

McG: Why does that child think you'd throw her things away? 

Nikki:  We did before.  It was pretty rude of us, but we've apologized a million times.  It was a bunch of toys she never played with.

Taylor: She's a hoarder, I swear.  Orlando and Samara play with that dollhouse more than she does.  Anakin plays with the dolls more than she does, the weirdo.  

McG: There is nothing wrong with boys liking dolls. Maybe he'll be the next Giorgio Armani.

Taylor: I hope not!  He might mess with Grammy's sewing stuff!  

Nikki: I'm so glad Grandpa Mace still had it.  Grammy made all Mom's clothes, back in the day.  (to McG) Did you ever sew?

McG: I mend things.  (hears someone calling her) I better see what that's about.

Candy:  How do you feel about the school thing?  As a mother and as an educator?

McG: Oh, dear.  Candy, it really isn't my place to say anything.  

Candy: Just your opinion.  You know I've always respected your opinion.  And they want mine even though I'm not the custodial parent. 

McG: You're the mother of four of them.  Well, two of them are grown, but still --  Honestly, this virus is horrible, but it really doesn't seem to spread much differently than influenza.  They've been taught the "Germ Rules", so I honestly believe the only one you need to worry about is Fred, since he's so young and might forget the precautions.  

Candy: Even adults forget the precautions.  That's how you ended up with so many grandchildren. 

McG: Ah, but my grandchildren are wiser than their parents were.  (leaves, chuckling) 

Candy: She's got me there.  I'm just scared, you guys.  I've had assignments where I saw what this virus can do and I hate to think of any of my babies going through that.  Or yours, Rose-Grace.  

Rose-Grace: Mine are yours and vice versa.  Co-parenting, right? 

Pike: We've had no cases in Barbieville, and only a few in the county.  Marcus says the Med Center is ready.  And I've been telling you for years, we can only do so much to protect them.  (to Rose-Grace) One of the things we fought a lot about when we were married.  She's very over-protective.

Rose-Grace: Well, I suggest we leave it up to the kids who can grasp the enormity of the situation.  Explain the risks and benefits of each option and let the girls decide.  Fred's the only one I'd divided on.  He's smart as a whip, but still...  he's in kindergarten. 

Candy: They walk to school, across the back pasture,  when weather permits, so we don't need to worry so much about germs on the bus.  I guess it's really gonna come down to what the girls decide.  If they go, I can't imagine telling him he can't.  

Pike: They can adopt my after-work routine.  Directly into the shower from the front door while whoever is already home wipes down their books.  (stands up)  Let's go talk to them. 

Reopening

Brent and Daisy video chat, both enjoying the summer weather.

Daisy: Oh, she's almost good as new.  We're concerned there might have been damage to her vocal cords from the intubation, but other than that, she's good.

Brent: Other than that?  The girl's a singer!  Damage to her vocal cords could end her singing career!

Daisy: She's also an actress and she's prepared to change her path a bit if needed.  We're just glad she's pulled through.  But I'm calling you about something else.  

Brent: Please don't tell me one of you two are sick now.

Daisy:  No, we're healthy.  Didn't you mention something the other day about a new television station there in Barbieville?  Are they looking for journalists? 

Brent: Kyra's ex has started WDLC.  Have you decided to finally get out of the city?

Daisy: You know we were already dealing with the homophobia and Bertie getting eyed by Immigration every time she turned around.  We almost lost our daughter to the pandemic and now race riots are going on again.  We're just done.

Brent: I can get you William's information, so Bertie can send a resume.  I'll put in a good word for her.  William and I get along much better than I expected.

Daisy:  Do you know any of the other WDLC people?  Any possible problems there?

Brent: The only journalist I know is Becky Weasley.  She walked out of college graduation and into a job at WDLC, but I'm not sure what she'll be doing there.

Daisy: She was the nice KBV girl, right?  Not the psycho? 

************************

Easter in Lockdown

In the lull between Easter dinner and dessert (because who has room for dessert right away?) the residents of Windu Acres, Barbieville, chat.  They all pretend not to notice the dogs feasting on the little ones' mess.  

Rose-Grace: I'm torn between being mad at you for breaking your self-imposed exile and being glad you're here. 

Pike:  I showered before coming and washed my hands when I arrived.  Ryan and I have been wiping down the interior of The Tank at least once a day.  Ryan said his sister's gonna bring him dinner, but he's staying in.  He's really worried about his folks. 

Rose-Grace: You can take him some of our leftovers as well.  God knows we have an army here, but I made enough for two armies!  

Mace: You be glad he's here, Rosie, and I'll be mad at him.  I'm old.

Taylor: That's why you and the babies are way over here.  We're being super careful.

Stacie: Yeah, we're even gonna wipe down everything Dad may have touched before letting y'all leave the table.  I mean, the only rooms he's been in are the entry hall, the kichen, and the downstairs bathroom.

Mace (laughs): Oh, yeah, little girl?  You think you can stop me from getting up?  

Stacie: You aren't that dumb, Grandpa.

Rose-Grace: Our other usual guests will be calling us for an on-line conference call.

Finnick: Wait.  You heard from Mom? 

Rose-Grace: Oops, that part was supposed to be a surprise.  Her idea, I swear! 

*****

The Conference Call! 

Candy: Hey, guys.  Sorry to worry you so much, but there was a cluster- I mean, some trouble with me getting back into the country.   I'm quarantined, obviously, but I'm not sick or hurt or anything. 

Stacie: You look different. 

Fred: You look way prettier now, Mommy.

Candy: My green stripe is gone and I've been working out a lot.  I always meant to start, and this whole mess is as good an excuse as any.  By the time I come home, Fred won't be the only one of my babies I can lift!

Tanner: You gotta catch me first. 

Finnick: She'll be able to, dummy.  She's looking like one of them lady MMA fighters!

Morgan:  You look great, Candy.  I always thought you needed a little meat on your bones. 

Candy: You're sheltering in place at your folks' house?  And you haven't killed each other yet? 

Lee (laughs):  She gets outta line, we send her to her couch.  

Morgan: Mom's helping me with teaching on-line.  I was already making so many rookie mistakes before this virus hit!  Thank God she's a sub now and doesn't have a course load of her own! 

Talk then becomes the usual large-family chaos.  

HAPPY EASTER 

to all my Barbieville followers!