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Monday, July 18, 2022

A Knock-off Rusty?

WARNING NEKKID DOLL 


 For those of you who are new here, or somehow out of the loop:  This is Rusty.


Rusty is the redheaded My Size Barbie that I wanted since 1992 and found a few years ago, at a local flea market, for ten whole big dollars.  She was wearing an original outfit, the bridal gown, but some accessories were missing.  Needless to say, I was THRILLED.   Rusty came home with me that day and has been my plastic daughter ever since.  

A chunk had been cut out of her hair, which I evened into a shaggy bob, but other than that damage was minimal.


Mark on one arm, presumably Sharpie.


A thin layer of nail polish on the eyes.  I assume someone tried to change her eye color.

*******************

Tonight my neighbor informed me that there's a doll "about this big" in the dumpster.  I called him a fibber (I had taken out trash about an hour before) and told him I didn't much care anyway unless it was a redhead.  He said the doll in question was a redhead.  He's yanking my chain, I thought.  He knows about Rusty and is just trying to get me to look so he can point at me and giggle.

"If you go out there and find a redhead doll of that size in the dumpster, I'll give you a dollar."  Guess what he did?  I'll give you a hint... I'm short a dollar. 


(Not my picture) 
(Not the actual doll in question)

Turns out, Jakks Pacific has a line of 32 inch Disney Princesses.  The current selling price is around 30 bucks, way less than the triple digits Mattel was asking in the 90s for Rusty.  But since it done costed me a buck, I figured I'd check the doll out and at least do a side-by-side comparison.

I brought Anna inside and stripped her in the bathtub - always the place for cleaning second hand toys that are too big for the sink.  This is what I found:


Her entire body below a black Sharpie "choker" is painted chalk white.  She's wearing a Duct Tape diaper.  Any value to a collector just tanked.  (The body mold does look very similar to Rusty's.) And when I removed the duct tape...


Someone made a valiant effort of replacing a broken-off leg.  I'm not sure what the blue is, but there's also a nice thick layer of hot glue.  I gave up at this point.  I'm not going to clean her up even enough for the planned comparison - she's going back into the dumpster as soon as I post this. 

I'm hoping the clothes she had on will fit Rusty, so I get something out of my dollar besides standing corrected on the existence of a redhead doll "about this big" in the dumpster.  

Just a funny lil story for y'all, really.  Enjoy. 





 







Sunday, July 17, 2022

Mrs. Moneybags: Dinner, Dancing, and a Dropout

 Rayshawn takes each of the three remaining competitors out for a night of dinner and dancing, testing the chemistry between himself and each of them.  The two others will stay with Marty so he can do the same (clearly on a different level).  



Gwen: I was beginning to wonder if we were going to get to the man/woman thing.  So far, it's been more about The Point and Marty. 

Rayshawn: Well, there's a method to my madness, you know.  I have to filter out the ones who want caviar and private jets because I'm just not that kind of guy.  Been there, done that, with Marty's mom.   What I've exposed you ladies to is pretty much what life as Mrs. Lucas would be like. 

Gwen: You don't just toss the money at an investment and expect it to grow, you get in there and get your hands dirty.   I'm the same way, kind of, but my investments are teenage brains. 


Rayshawn: What's important to you?  In the big picture? 

Gwen: My students, my sister, and my niece.  Not always in that order, but those are the top three.  Teachers can change the world, if the world would get out of our way and let us!  I bet you have some teacher in your past who impacted you and helped shape the man you are today. 

*******
Doreen takes in the luxury of the five-star restaurant with childlike wonder. 


Doreen: I hope you don't think I'm an idiot.  I've just never been in this kind of place before. 

Rayshawn: Never? 

Doreen: Well, maybe my Prom.  And thanks for helping me decipher that menu.  I would have never guessed that description was a pot pie!  

Rayshawn: They have to make it as pretentious as humanly possible.  (rolls his eyes)  I've never been a fan of all this frou-frou stuff, but I thought this would be a good way for us to talk relatively privately.  

Doreen: I figured it was needed sometimes, in your work.  You don't want your wife to embarrass you at important functions.  


Doreen: Sorry, I'm not a very good dancer.  

Rayshawn: Out of practice, all those years of being a mom and teaching kindergarten. 

Doreen: Oh, my husband was never much of a dancer.  We met at a college dance his friends had badgered him into attending.  He decided to chat up the wallflowers.

Rayshawn: I find it hard to believe you were a wallflower. 

Doreen: I never was the tall willowy type that gets asked to dance.  If I was in a movie, I'd be the gregarious friend of the tall willowy girl. 

******

Seven tries to pretend she isn't impressed by the glamor around her, but she is.


Seven: I have to ask, it's been driving me crazy.  Who is Charlotte? I thought she was a producer of something, but... 

Rayshawn (chuckles):  Once upon a time, there were two wealthy men, Billy and Rayshawn.  Billy was Rayshawn's mentor, both in and out of the office.  They met Charlotte Gordon, who flat-out told them that if they weren't rich, she'd have no interest.  Billy eventually married her.  Rayshawn married a gal who swore her undying devotion, rich or poor.  Fast forward a few years... Rayshawn lost a lot of money in his divorce and Billy's still married even though he's in a coma.  

Seven: Charlotte is your mentor's gold-digging wife? 

Rayshawn: She prefers the term social climber.  I butt heads with Charlotte a lot, but she's honest and she really does honor her vows.  She's never cheated, she's given him everything he asked for, and makes sure he has good medical care.  


Rayshawn:  Wow, you are an excellent dancer. 

Seven: And no lessons!  Well, not formal ones.  I had a school friend that took lessons and she taught the whole crew.  Once upon a time, we were going to be the next Destiny's Child.   Then teenage drama happened and the band broke up. 

******
Elimination time. The Lucas fellows have conferred, tallied up the points, and now they face the ladies. 


Rayshawn: There's been a bit of confusion among the viewers about the prizes.  When I give the thousand dollars for each week you made it and air fare home, I'm not actually giving money for air fare - it's a plane ticket.  Just want to clarify that before we get started.

Marty: I was confused, too! 


Rayshawn: Seven, you get a one from Marty.  He says you're still trying too hard.  Just relax, girl.  Be yourself. You got a three from me.  I felt our date was a big success.  And those dance moves!  That brings you to a total of 31.



Rayshawn: Doreen, you got a three from Marty.  He says you're great fun but also make him behave.  I gave you a two.  I found you to be good company, even if you were a bit intimidated by the atmosphere.  Your new score is 38.


Gwen: Before you say anything, I need to -- I can't do this.  I volunteer to be eliminated.  


Doreen: Gwen, what are you doing?  Why? 

Seven: Wait, what? 

Gwen: Look, when  I started this, a friend of mine compared it to prostitution.  I entered anyway, honestly hoping that if I won, there'd be at least a spark between us.  But there isn't.  You have a spark with Seven.  You have a spark with Doreen.  But if I continue, if I win... I'm afraid my friend was right.  It would feel like prostitution because, frankly, there's no spark between us.  


Rayshawn: What do we do now? 

Charlotte: Well, there is a clause that lets her drop out, but if you continue the scoring the way you have, Seven's going to be too far behind to catch up.  

Marty: Last round ain't by points anyway.  Points are just up to this round. 

Charlotte: Well, I guess I don't need to print out a plane ticket then.  Gwen doesn't need one because she's a local. 


Rayshawn: Well, Gwen, I can't argue with your spark comment because that's why you only scored one from me.  Except I was going to use the word "chemistry".  I've enjoyed your company, and you sure made an impact on Marty's vampire pirate. 

Marty: He's a zombie.  And so is the chicken. 

Gwen (chuckling): Oh, lordy, I've created a monster.  


















Tuesday, July 5, 2022

Mrs Moneybags: Day at the Park and Fourth Elimination

 


Rayshawn:  Today, take any concerns you have to Anna - Sally will be here, but she's basically a trainee.  

Joe: Sally's not going to the cove with the rest of you? 

Rayshawn: She opted out since she can't ride anything.  That's gonna work against her come time to tally the points, but I'm not going to force her.  

Joe: Yeah, with that attitude, she'll ruin the whole day for the rest of you by complaining.  I made that mistake once with a cousin... expected everyone else to not ride because he couldn't. 

*****

Witch's Cove entrance gate


Doreen: Let me get a picture of you two!  

Seven: This coaster looks wild.

Doreen: I've not had the chance to ride it.  It was put in since the last time I was here.  

Gwen: I can't wait to check out the Haunted Railway.  (to Seven) It was a wild west train, but there was a fire in the Haunted House and the train was changed to house the salvaged ghouls and ghosts.  I bet some of those costumed characters Tierra talked about will be there. 


Marty: Hey, Anakin!  I didn't know they made you work here!

Anakin: They don't.  Someone called in sick and Mommy offered to fill in since she was off work today, so I'm just hanging out with her.  Where's the cowboy lady?

Marty: She can't ride so she ain't coming.  She's not much fun, anyway. 

****
Back at The Point....

  


Sally: Why are you making girls do men's work?  I should report you to the Better Business Bureau! 

Joe: Both Jessie and Gabriella are legally employed.  In fact, Gabriella may well run the business someday.  She's a Montez.  

Sally: That's your daughter?!  Good lord, I might have to report you to CPS as well! 

Joe:  You report me to whoever you feel the need.  Just get out of our way and let us do our job, please.

*****
At Witch's Cove



Marty: Thanks for watching all our stuff while we rode, Gwen.  That was really nice of you! 

Gwen: You're welcome.  Before my accident, we always waited until the end of the day to play games or buy things.  Too much risk of losing things on the ride or having them stolen if we left them with the attendants.  

Doreen: We always wait til the end of the day, too.  Even when I was pregnant with Tommy, we did it that way out of habit.  It's so much easier than lugging giant stuffed animals all day! 

Seven: With so many of us, we couldn't afford to go except for Dad and Mom's company picnics, so we enjoyed the rides while we had the chance.  We never bothered with the games or shops much!  


Doreen: I might be getting too old for this. 

Seven: I just love the old fashioned wooden coasters!  Rattle my bones! 


****
The group gathers in the office for this week's tally.


Marty: Why is the zombie pirate so big and his ship so small?  It's dumb. 

Gwen: I don't think you're supposed to play with them together.  The ship might have smaller figures that go with it. Unless he became a giant when he got zombified?  


Rayshawn: Look at this.  Three way tie, at least for this round. 

Charlotte: Especially after you saw that e-mail from Joe.

Rayshawn:  What e-mail from Joe?  Why are you looking at my e-mail? 

Charlotte: He's my brother-in-law, remember?  I was visiting with Batgirl, Joe came home livid, and she told him to e-mail you right way. (She waits while he checks his e-mail.)  By the way, I do not read the private correspondence of adults.  

Rayshawn (reading the email):  Yeah, just kids, cuz they got no rights. 


Rayshawn: Gwen, I gave you four points for gallantly tagging along despite your limitations.  Marty gave you two, mostly because you couldn't ride.  So you get six, bringing your score to 33.  

Gwen: Fair enough. 

Rayshawn: Doreen, you get the opposite - four from Marty and two from me.  He was impressed with your riding despite being - in his words - pretty old.  I had to dock you because you got a little snippy at the end of the day.  Six points brings you also to 33. 

Doreen (laughs): Probably because I'm pretty old. 

Rayshawn: Seven scored three from each of us.  Your riding wasn't impressive because of your youth, and you didn't get snippy.

Seven: Again, because of my youth.  (elbows Doreen playfully) 

Rayshawn:  Sally, you scored two.  One from each of us.  Your refusal to even attempt a day at the park worked against you big time, and the harassment of my contractor did not help. That brings your score to 18.  You're going home. 


Sally: I didn't harass anyone.  I called him out for poor business practices, that's all. 

Rayshawn:  Here's your four thousand dollars prize money and air fare home.  I've enclosed a list of agencies that can help you find employment or training to that end. 

Sally: Thank you.  Best of luck to all of you.