Smiths Happen

John waits nervously as the music begins.  The day he's wanted for so long is finally here! 

Best Man Sulu and Maid of Honor Midna seem to take forever to march down the aisle and join him at the front.  Mayor Rose-Grace Pike forces herself not to grin when Sulu winks at her. 

Nakoma and Anakin follow suit, although they do move a bit faster.  John suspects Midna and Sulu went so slow just to prolong his torture.

Roxy (whispering): Kelly, ring bearer stands on Daddy's side. 

Kelly: No way! I ain't no boy! 

As the music swells, Pocahontas pauses before making her entrance.

Albus: Take the bouquet and go claim that man for yourself.

Pocahontas: I wish Mom was here. 

Albus: Kida's here.  She's just disguised as an old man. 

Finally, John stands before his bride.  It took way too long to get here.

Rose-Grace: Who gives this woman in marriage? 

Albus: In her mother's stead, I bless this woman's choice to give herself in marriage. 

Instead of removing "obey" from her traditional vows, they add it to his.  Then the kiss, a rather chaste one despite Sulu's previous urging to make it sexy.  

Rose-Grace: It is my honor to introduce, for the first time ever, John and Pocahontas Smith. 

Sulu: I've known John pretty much all my life.  We practically lived at each other's houses from second grade on.  Pocahontas was always there, too.  We were like the Three Musketeers.

Pocahontas: Or the three stooges.

Sulu (pointedly ignoring her, but waits for laughter to subside):  There was, shall we say, a large bump in the road on the way to this day.  There were times I doubted it would happen, I won't lie, but here we are.  John, my brother from another mother, you deserve every bit of the happiness ahead of you.  And all the butt-kicking that girl's served out - past and future.

Midna: I know it's bad form to bring it up, but I went to college with a broken-hearted gal.  She poured herself into her studies, determined to keep her mother's dream alive despite the fact that her own had evaporated.  I was prepared to hate John.  Instead, I became his biggest cheerleader.  Fate has given John and Pocahontas a second chance.  As deeply as they love one another, they'd be fools to let it go.

Pocahontas: Thank you so much, Albus.  Ever since Dad walked out on us, I planned to do the father/daughter dance with Mom.  You're the closest thing I have now. 

Albus: I've never been happier that she cussed me out for trying to warn her about that guy.  

When the time comes for the groom to dance with his mother, John shocks everyone by cajoling Pern into the spotlight.  Her cheeks nearly as pink as her hair, she joins him.

John: My mother passed away a few years ago and I don't have an Albus.  I chose to honor Pernilla today because she's given me quite a precious gift.  We have full legal custody of Pern's son, my brother-in-law Anakin, who has even taken my surname. 

Nakoma (muttering): Don't do it, John.  

Midna: What? 

Roxy: You don't want nobody to know your name is Smith now, too?

Nakoma: Today is about John and my sister, okay?  It isn't about me or my loser father.

John doesn't do it.  Probably because he was warned beforehand.

 

The Mouths of Babes

Zenobia:  Welcome to Openly Biased.  Doll County is reopening, but we aren't talking pandemic today.  A larger matter needs our attention.  What's larger than a pandemic?  My guests are the Dean brothers, Frodo and Ty, and the Pike brothers, Tanner and Freddy.  They can explain better than I can.

Frodo: We big brothers have agreed to let Ty and Fred take the lead on this.

Ty: We was both very sad and mad about all the bad stuff people are doing.  Our grownups tried to explain, but we're just little kids.  We don't get it.  

Freddy: So we did a spearmint.  These guys took us to the big mall and traded little brothers.  Frodo walked around all day with me and Tanner did it with Ty.  It was lots of fun.

Ty: Let's trade big brothers like we did then!  (The boys switch laps.)  Tanner took me to a movie and then we got ice cream.  Frodo and Freddy had a big ole pizza and then watched a different movie.

Fred: People asked me like ten bazillion times was I okay and did I know Frodo.  Did he steal me or was he hurting me.  Frodo said it was part of the spearmint.

Ty: Nobody asked me that stuff.  And the big boys said that was the spearmint.  All them people thought Frodo was a bad guy, but not Tanner, and the only difference was what color they were.  So then we found out that even the nice people can be dummies about skin color.

Zenobia: It used to be perfectly normal to own black people.  They were livestock, like horses or cows. 

Ty: Frodo said it's like when you throw a rock in the lake.  Owning black people was the big splash, but then all them little waves happen.  Stuff like when you think the best way is being white and going to church and even being a boy instead of a girl.  That's the waves.

Fred: More like the rock was the moon and the splash made tsunamis!  People think the waves are zag-rated or pretend but they aren't.   I don't want Ty to get dead because he's browner than me.

Ty: Lets show them Grandpa Mace's sign.

 

Fred drags a huge poster board into camera range.

Fred: Red is Jenny, Yellow is Vivica, Black is Ty, and White is me.  We're all friends. 

Zenobia: There are different kinds of each color, too, if you think about it.  Just calling Nakoma and Joe "Indians" ignores the fact that they're different tribes.

Ty:  You're not sposed to say Indian.  You're sposed to say Native American.

Zenobia: You're right.  Nowadays some people get upset about the terms we use.  You boys have been saying black this whole time when you should be saying African-American. 

Ty and Freddy (giggling): Busted!  

Zenobia (to camera): The message is clear here.  We've come a long way, but there is still work to be done.  We all need to work on this, no matter where our ancestors came from.  Barbieville was founded as a haven from racism, but even here, it happens.  

Reopening

Brent and Daisy video chat, both enjoying the summer weather.

Daisy: Oh, she's almost good as new.  We're concerned there might have been damage to her vocal cords from the intubation, but other than that, she's good.

Brent: Other than that?  The girl's a singer!  Damage to her vocal cords could end her singing career!

Daisy: She's also an actress and she's prepared to change her path a bit if needed.  We're just glad she's pulled through.  But I'm calling you about something else.  

Brent: Please don't tell me one of you two are sick now.

Daisy:  No, we're healthy.  Didn't you mention something the other day about a new television station there in Barbieville?  Are they looking for journalists? 

Brent: Kyra's ex has started WDLC.  Have you decided to finally get out of the city?

Daisy: You know we were already dealing with the homophobia and Bertie getting eyed by Immigration every time she turned around.  We almost lost our daughter to the pandemic and now race riots are going on again.  We're just done.

Brent: I can get you William's information, so Bertie can send a resume.  I'll put in a good word for her.  William and I get along much better than I expected.

Daisy:  Do you know any of the other WDLC people?  Any possible problems there?

Brent: The only journalist I know is Becky Weasley.  She walked out of college graduation and into a job at WDLC, but I'm not sure what she'll be doing there.

Daisy: She was the nice KBV girl, right?  Not the psycho? 

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