Mrs Moneybags: Day at the Park and Fourth Elimination

 

Rayshawn:  Today, take any concerns you have to Anna - Sally will be here, but she's basically a trainee.  

Joe: Sally's not going to the cove with the rest of you? 

Rayshawn: She opted out since she can't ride anything.  That's gonna work against her come time to tally the points, but I'm not going to force her.  

Joe: Yeah, with that attitude, she'll ruin the whole day for the rest of you by complaining.  I made that mistake once with a cousin... expected everyone else to not ride because he couldn't. 

*****

Witch's Cove entrance gate

Doreen: Let me get a picture of you two!  

Seven: This coaster looks wild.

Doreen: I've not had the chance to ride it.  It was put in since the last time I was here.  

Gwen: I can't wait to check out the Haunted Railway.  (to Seven) It was a wild west train, but there was a fire in the Haunted House and the train was changed to house the salvaged ghouls and ghosts.  I bet some of those costumed characters Tierra talked about will be there. 

Marty: Hey, Anakin!  I didn't know they made you work here!

Anakin: They don't.  Someone called in sick and Mommy offered to fill in since she was off work today, so I'm just hanging out with her.  Where's the cowboy lady?

Marty: She can't ride so she ain't coming.  She's not much fun, anyway. 

****

Back at The Point....

  

Sally: Why are you making girls do men's work?  I should report you to the Better Business Bureau! 

Joe: Both Jessie and Gabriella are legally employed.  In fact, Gabriella may well run the business someday.  She's a Montez.  

Sally: That's your daughter?!  Good lord, I might have to report you to CPS as well! 

Joe:  You report me to whoever you feel the need.  Just get out of our way and let us do our job, please.

*****

At Witch's Cove

Marty: Thanks for watching all our stuff while we rode, Gwen.  That was really nice of you! 

Gwen: You're welcome.  Before my accident, we always waited until the end of the day to play games or buy things.  Too much risk of losing things on the ride or having them stolen if we left them with the attendants.  

Doreen: We always wait til the end of the day, too.  Even when I was pregnant with Tommy, we did it that way out of habit.  It's so much easier than lugging giant stuffed animals all day! 

Seven: With so many of us, we couldn't afford to go except for Dad and Mom's company picnics, so we enjoyed the rides while we had the chance.  We never bothered with the games or shops much!  

Doreen: I might be getting too old for this. 

Seven: I just love the old fashioned wooden coasters!  Rattle my bones! 

****

The group gathers in the office for this week's tally.

Marty: Why is the zombie pirate so big and his ship so small?  It's dumb. 

Gwen: I don't think you're supposed to play with them together.  The ship might have smaller figures that go with it. Unless he became a giant when he got zombified?  

Rayshawn: Look at this.  Three way tie, at least for this round. 

Charlotte: Especially after you saw that e-mail from Joe.

Rayshawn:  What e-mail from Joe?  Why are you looking at my e-mail? 

Charlotte: He's my brother-in-law, remember?  I was visiting with Batgirl, Joe came home livid, and she told him to e-mail you right way. (She waits while he checks his e-mail.)  By the way, I do not read the private correspondence of adults.  

Rayshawn (reading the email):  Yeah, just kids, cuz they got no rights. 

Rayshawn: Gwen, I gave you four points for gallantly tagging along despite your limitations.  Marty gave you two, mostly because you couldn't ride.  So you get six, bringing your score to 33.  

Gwen: Fair enough. 

Rayshawn: Doreen, you get the opposite - four from Marty and two from me.  He was impressed with your riding despite being - in his words - pretty old.  I had to dock you because you got a little snippy at the end of the day.  Six points brings you also to 33. 

Doreen (laughs): Probably because I'm pretty old. 

Rayshawn: Seven scored three from each of us.  Your riding wasn't impressive because of your youth, and you didn't get snippy.

Seven: Again, because of my youth.  (elbows Doreen playfully) 

Rayshawn:  Sally, you scored two.  One from each of us.  Your refusal to even attempt a day at the park worked against you big time, and the harassment of my contractor did not help. That brings your score to 18.  You're going home. 

Sally: I didn't harass anyone.  I called him out for poor business practices, that's all. 

Rayshawn:  Here's your four thousand dollars prize money and air fare home.  I've enclosed a list of agencies that can help you find employment or training to that end. 

Sally: Thank you.  Best of luck to all of you.  

Saturday at Windu Acres

 

Tanner is intent on the movie they're watching, but Whitney keeps stealing glances at him.  The things Esperanza has been saying are preying at her, even though she trusts Tanner completely.  She steels herself and makes her move.

Tanner: Hey, what are you doing?  Nothing inside the clothes, remember?

Whitney: Well, I've been thinking about that.  We aren't in high school anymore, you know.  We both want to and we've been together so long.

Tanner:  Wait, what?  Who the hell have you been talking to?

Whitney:  Esperanza says...

He pushes her away, gently, but she can tell he's angry.

Tanner: What's she been saying to you, to make you act so weird?  Well, weird-for-you. 

Whitney: Don't you ever get mad at me for making you wait?  I mean, you're a grown man and men... 

Tanner: Don't you dare say men have needs.  (Heavy sigh)  Whitney, I love you.  I think you've got good reasons for waiting.  Don't let anyone, even me, pressure you into it.  

Whitney: But most of my reasons are gone now.  We've graduated, you're working... 

Tanner: Back up a bit.  What has Esperanza been saying about this?  

*****

Taylor:  When you get to High School avoid taking his class.  

Nikki: It's a required class and he's the only teacher for it.  I kinda have no choice.  Besides, all he did was say some mean stuff.  I can ignore that. 

Taylor: It's different from a teacher, and I think he's grading my work unfairly.  I had almost word-for-word the same answers as Alex and she got a way higher grade. 

Candy: Let me guess.  Severus Snape? 

Taylor: You just stroll in like you own the place.  

Candy: I gave birth to about half the residents, so I can do that.  

Nikki: I wonder if he's a racist. 

Candy: He just assumes kids of privilege are going to expect special treatment. When the boys had his class, it was a constant stream of "Your dad married the mayor, that doesn't make you special".  It got so stupid, Pike had me going to conferences with that guy even though I'm not the custodial parent. 

Taylor: Oh, yeah, I remember that now.  Maybe he got bullied in school and now he takes it out on us.

Candy: As if that's an excuse. 

*****

One look at his twin tells Finnick volumes.  

Finnick: Kids, maybe you should wait to watch the movie... 

Stacie: No way!  You promised! 

Anakin: I've only got a couple of hours til I have to go home.

Tanner (grumbling):  It's okay.  Instead of little sister getting lost this time, I guess the big brothers can.  But you're coming with me, Fin.  I got some bitching to do. 

Finnick lets Tanner tells the entire story.  Esperanza's accusations that he's not really with Mace, the constant comparisons to other couples (including Finnick and Nakoma), even comments about Wilma. 

Finnick: Okay, first off, Wilma's beside the point.  You don't want what Wilma's father had because that was messed up.  When you're with Grandpa, you're at work.   Would she be saying that if you still worked at the Cove? 

Tanner: Probably.  You and Nakoma would be helping me cheat on Whitney. 

Finnick: So basically, Esperanza is convincing Whitney that unless y'all have sex, you're going to spilt. (chuckles) Isn't pressuring the girlfriend into sex the boyfriend's job?  

Tanner: I told Whitney it didn't hurt Four and Tris any to wait for marriage.  We can do the same if she wants.  She's terrified of getting pregnant again when she still lives with her mom. 

Finnick: Esperanza's got a problem.  Nakoma had to tell her off because she was always asking stuff like that about us.  Someone should teach her a lesson. 

Tanner: You up for some patented Pike Twins Shenanigans? 

Non-Murder Drama Continues

 Barbieville Elementary School

Qi: What's up with the pink bag, Anakin?  You gay all of a sudden?

Stacie: Don't be stupid.  We're too young to be worrying about if we're gay or not.

Tommy:  So what?  My brother's gay. 

Casey: My dad wears makeup and he ain't gay. 

Anakin: My bookbag broke and I borrowed this from Nakoma.

Marty: No boys in the family you could borrow from?  I mean, I got no problem with the pink, but you could've avoided some teasing. 

Anakin: Me and John are the only guys.  And it's worth a little teasing to have a nice stable family for once. I swear, I feel like a whole new kid.

Casey (to Qi):  I'm sorry you let your wiener limit your choices in life.  

*****  

Barbieville High School

Gabriella: So now Mom is scared Charlotte's lawyer is gonna subpoena her.   

Taylor: Might be for the best if she did.  I know she doesn't want to... 

Snape: Miss Pike, would you care to tell the class what's more important than your lesson?

Snape: Don't bother telling me you started the conversation, Miss Montez.  I'm well aware that you are merely a follower, being influenced by Miss Pike's disregard for rules.   I've made if clear, have I not, that being related to the mayor carries no weight with me? 

Taylor: Yes, sir. I'm sorry. 

Gabriella: Mr. Snape, I was finishing a conversation we started in the hall.  Class hasn't even begun.

Snape: Class begins when the bell rings.  Perhaps you should have your hearing checked. 

*****

Mayor's Office 

Rose-Grace: Thank you all for meeting with me.  The media has been barraging me with questions about what they're calling Deadly Driver, and I don't want to spread misinformation.  Or keep deflecting, for that matter.  The citizens need to know what's happening. 

Carol: Within limits, of course.

Midge: Test results came back as expected.  We did get specifications on paint chips from the victim's bodies, which I shared with the police department.  The vehicle was painted a color called "Green With Envy" which is exclusive to one Automobile manufacturer. 

Lynch: They have three models of the right shape and size.  We're compiling a list of owners, with the intent to interview and visually inspect each of the cars in question.   Agent Danvers has been in touch with the federal profilers.  But Helena and Charlie had so little in common... 

Carol: They're the same sex and age group, both educated professionals.  My guys have done wonders with less than that.  

******

Doll County Day Care, Barbieville

Whitney: Oh My God!  I am not going to go through his phone!  I trust him! 

Esperanza: I'm telling you, he is not spending all this time with his freakin' Grandpa.  He's up to something and I bet she puts out. 

Whitney: I'm picking up Wilma and she doesn't need to hear this garbage.  I trust Tanner.  The end.

Roxy: He's eating all the people that fell outta the train wreck. 

Wilma: No way! A tricycle-tops don't eat meat!  

Whitney: Geez, John, what kind of sickos are you raising? 

John (laughing): Only the best.  Wilma, your mom's here.

Whitney: I hope she behaved today.  We've been having a problem with temper tantrums lately. 

John: She wasn't happy about the choices for after-school snacks, but she took it out on those poor train passengers.  

Wilma: Put me down, Mommy!  I wanna walk! 

Esperanza: Did you see the way he was looking at me?  He wants me. 

Whitney: Sure, Esper, sure.  

Smiths Happen

John waits nervously as the music begins.  The day he's wanted for so long is finally here! 

Best Man Sulu and Maid of Honor Midna seem to take forever to march down the aisle and join him at the front.  Mayor Rose-Grace Pike forces herself not to grin when Sulu winks at her. 

Nakoma and Anakin follow suit, although they do move a bit faster.  John suspects Midna and Sulu went so slow just to prolong his torture.

Roxy (whispering): Kelly, ring bearer stands on Daddy's side. 

Kelly: No way! I ain't no boy! 

As the music swells, Pocahontas pauses before making her entrance.

Albus: Take the bouquet and go claim that man for yourself.

Pocahontas: I wish Mom was here. 

Albus: Kida's here.  She's just disguised as an old man. 

Finally, John stands before his bride.  It took way too long to get here.

Rose-Grace: Who gives this woman in marriage? 

Albus: In her mother's stead, I bless this woman's choice to give herself in marriage. 

Instead of removing "obey" from her traditional vows, they add it to his.  Then the kiss, a rather chaste one despite Sulu's previous urging to make it sexy.  

Rose-Grace: It is my honor to introduce, for the first time ever, John and Pocahontas Smith. 

Sulu: I've known John pretty much all my life.  We practically lived at each other's houses from second grade on.  Pocahontas was always there, too.  We were like the Three Musketeers.

Pocahontas: Or the three stooges.

Sulu (pointedly ignoring her, but waits for laughter to subside):  There was, shall we say, a large bump in the road on the way to this day.  There were times I doubted it would happen, I won't lie, but here we are.  John, my brother from another mother, you deserve every bit of the happiness ahead of you.  And all the butt-kicking that girl's served out - past and future.

Midna: I know it's bad form to bring it up, but I went to college with a broken-hearted gal.  She poured herself into her studies, determined to keep her mother's dream alive despite the fact that her own had evaporated.  I was prepared to hate John.  Instead, I became his biggest cheerleader.  Fate has given John and Pocahontas a second chance.  As deeply as they love one another, they'd be fools to let it go.

Pocahontas: Thank you so much, Albus.  Ever since Dad walked out on us, I planned to do the father/daughter dance with Mom.  You're the closest thing I have now. 

Albus: I've never been happier that she cussed me out for trying to warn her about that guy.  

When the time comes for the groom to dance with his mother, John shocks everyone by cajoling Pern into the spotlight.  Her cheeks nearly as pink as her hair, she joins him.

John: My mother passed away a few years ago and I don't have an Albus.  I chose to honor Pernilla today because she's given me quite a precious gift.  We have full legal custody of Pern's son, my brother-in-law Anakin, who has even taken my surname. 

Nakoma (muttering): Don't do it, John.  

Midna: What? 

Roxy: You don't want nobody to know your name is Smith now, too?

Nakoma: Today is about John and my sister, okay?  It isn't about me or my loser father.

John doesn't do it.  Probably because he was warned beforehand.

 

Any Requests?

Rayshawn Lucas came to Barbieville with a business proposition for his old colleague Billy's wife.  She insists on the most casual meeting ever.

Rayshawn: Went by the hospital to check on Billy.  He's looking good, all things considered.

Charlotte: Yes, his care has been excellent.  I honestly didn't expect him to last this long.   How long will you be in town? 

Rayshawn: I hope to be here long-term.  I want to buy you out on that lake front property. 

Charlotte: The Point? Oh, no, it is not for sale.  That's the first of the nails in this town's coffin. 

Rayshawn: What you're doing with that property is undermining everything else you're trying to do.  Losing money hand over fist is not gonna convince anyone to give you custody of your kids - or their trust funds.  In fact, you could lose everything.  

Charlotte: How do you figure that? 

Rayshawn: According to my estimates, you've already lost half a million on it.  The legal fights over zoning alone ate up most of that.  Factor in loss of revenue from a functional RV park, property taxes, all those things...  You've got a very expensive millstone around your neck.

Charlotte: You have no idea what I'm trying to do.

Rayshawn: You're trying to crush this town for wrongs of the past and keep your pretty little hands on Mary and Max's inheritance.  You'll be much better off - and get a better revenge - if you act as a savvy and rational business woman.  But this thing with The Point is neither savvy nor rational. 

Charlotte: You may be right.  Buy up the town bit by bit...  they'd rent from me, work for me, everything.  Rayshawn, you are a genius!  I could own them all.  

Rayshawn: First step, sell me that property.  Spin the tale somehow to make you look good.  

******

A very different sort of meeting is happening at the county seat, in the probation office.

Draco: I did my community service.  Are we done here?

Helena: Apparently not, if that's all the respect you have.  (To Bonnie) It doesn't appear my son's learned his lesson, Ms Carson. Any suggestions? 

Albus: He's done what the courts said he had to, Helena, but certainly you can volunteer him for more.  I can get you a list of homeless shelters, food pantries... 

Bonnie: Albus is right.  Once I enter this data into the system, Draco's obligation to the courts is fulfilled.  However, a bit of volunteer work with the less fortunate would do him no harm.  (To Draco) You've been very fortunate.  Don't mistake that for anything you deserve. 

Draco: Look, you ginger bim-- (Helena claps a hand over his mouth, and not very gently.)

Bonnie: If you'll send my next appointment in, Mrs. Malfoy? 

Helena leads Draco out, hand still over his mouth.

Albus (pauses in the doorway): Doctor Malfoy.  She has a PhD. 

Bonnie's next appointment is Pern.  

Bonnie: Everything looks good.  You're working, attending sobriety meetings.  Even got a fellow from the group a job at Sunburst?  Very nice.

Pern: Turns out, his fiancee is the aunt of one of our servers!  You should have seen her face when she realized who the new day cook was! 

Bonnie: I do have to tell you, it's quite unusual for an adult to bring relatives in with her.

Anakin: Oh, that's my fault, Ms Carson.  I wanted to ask Mommy and Pocahontas something, but I want you to hear.  You can give us advice about it, I think.

Anakin (to Pern): I been thinking about what can help you get better and I think I know something that is best for everyone, but I'm scared you're going to get upset when I tell you.  I don't want you to think I hate you or anything like that. 

Pern: I promise to hear you out, even if it upsets me.  

Anakin: I want Pocahontas and John to adopt me. 

Santa Visits Barbieville!

Courtesy of the museum, Santa photos are free for children under the age of twelve.  He arrived this morning after the parade.

Boudica: Seriously, Mom, can't you get an older lady to play Mrs. Claus?  

Helena: Some children are frightened of Santa and the opposite of old and male....

Guinness and Boudica:  Is young and female.

Helena: Besides, you aren't his wife.  You're one of his elves. 

The Sulu children are first in line.

Vivica: Santa, this is our new baby.  Her name is Dixie.

Santa: And what would Dixie like me to bring her?

Vivica: She likes juice.  Can you bring her juice?

Santa: Of course.  What would you and Bobby like this year?

Bobby: A Switch and PlayStation and Xbox and lots of games and... 

Vivica: Hey! Mommy said no being a greedy butt! (to Santa) But yeah, we've tried to be good so you would bring us a video game system.  

Ty Dean is next.

Ty: My big brother says all of your reindeer are girls.  He says boy reindeers lose their antlers in the winter.  But Rudolph is a boy name, right? 

Santa: Well, now.  Frodo seems to be under the impression they're normal reindeer.  He's mistaken, of course, since normal reindeer cannot fly.  You may tell him that some of my deer are girls and some of them are boys.  

Ty: YES!  Thank you, Santa!  (Runs off without asking for anything.)

Jenny Montez pauses to show Santa her candy-cane dress before the picture is taken.

Jenny: You picked a good helper this year, Santa.  Boudica helps Doctor Marcus take care of my Uncle Billy.  

Santa (exchanging a glance with Boudica): It was very nice of her to help.  My wife and elves are all very busy, you know.  

Jenny: And last year her big sissy helped you, but that silly Zenobia pretended to be an elf.  Why'd she do that for? 

Santa: Today Boudica is an elf.  My helpers always are.

Jenny: What I would like for Christmas is a big-girl bicycle.  Wif training wheels, so Daddy can take them off when I get even bigger.  I have been very good and don't even sass Auntie Charlotte.

Guinness is surprised to see Anakin.  

Kelly: Oh, Santa, look!  This is Anakin and he's gonna be our uncle soon!  His mommy didn't let you come to her house, but now he lives with us and you can bring him goodies, too! 

Santa: Yes, of course I'll bring Anakin goodies.  What would you like, young man? 

Anakin: Nothing for me, sir.  I'm very happy with what I have. 

Kelly: Ask him to help your mommy not get sick no more!  (To Santa) Sometimes Pern takes medicine wrong.  But we don't want her to get dead. 

Roxy: Kelly!  What did Pocahontas tell us about don't tell secrets that can make people cry?

Anakin: That's not what she meant, Roxy.  (winks at "Santa") My mommy's problem isn't a secret, anyway. 

Kelly: Fine then.  You can ask for a car with muscles. 

Anakin: I'm too young for a car, goofball.  (To Santa) We will write to you at the North Pole with our wish lists. C'mon, girls, other kids are waiting!

The three youngest Pike children clamor onto Santa's lap.  Well, two of them - Orlando needs Boudica to soothe him a bit.  

Fred: My big brothers said to ask you for a really big toy box because my toys are taking over our room.  But me and the babies really bad want you to make a baby grow in Silvie's belly.

Santa (shocked): Silvie?  Sylvia Guinness?

Fred (giggling): No, silly.  Silver Stream.  Grandpa Mace's girl horse.

Santa (relieved): I'll see what I can do. 

Santa: Stacie, you didn't want to be in the picture? 

Stacie (leans close and whispers): I know that's you, Mr. Guinness, working for the real Santa.  Don't worry, I won't tell the littles.  Grandpa Mace will handle the horse baby thing.

Guinness: Good to know.  And thank you, Miss Pike.

Anakin: Come on, Stacie, hurry. Our grown-ups are waiting in the lobby.  We're going to the Oriental Buffet!  

Stacie: I love that place!  Sushi is so good! 

Anakin: Yuck.  Raw fish.  What did you say to him, anyway? 

Stacie: Just letting him know his secret's safe with me.  Besides, we know he's gonna report back to the real Santa.

Anakin: Uh, yeah.  No need to upset anyone, right?