Taylor Tells The Family

After receiving an alarming call, Rose-Grace combines errands with tracking down her husband.

Rose-Grace:  There you are!  Daisy told me you were in HBAD! 

Pike:  I was, last she knew.  What's going on?

Fred: Step Mommy's real upset.  Tell her it's okay, Daddy. 

Rose-Grace: I just got a call from the Medical Social Worker.  It seems Stacie's convinced herself Taylor is dying.  I know we told Taylor it could wait until she was ready to tell the family, but... 

Pike:  Stacie never really got over your mom's death.  (Significant glance toward Fred)  And this might be too complex for some members of the family. 

Fred: I told Stacie it was big people stuff.  She don't never listen to me. 

*****

That evening.... 

Taylor:  What the hell?!  Does she think we're a bunch of liars?! 

Pike: We kind of set a precedent for what she thinks is going on, given how we failed to properly explain Grammy's illness. 

Taylor: Well, I'm not happy, but I guess we don't have a lot of choice at this point.  Can't have Stacie accidentally starting rumors. 

Rose-Grace:  I'll spread the word.  Family meeting tonight, after the little ones go to bed.  Might as well tell everyone at once.  And I'm sorry we have to rush this on you. 

Taylor: Apology accepted.  I almost have my head wrapped around it, anyway, so... 

Taylor: I... When my appendix burst, the surgeons found out that I don't have internal female guts.  Where my ovaries should be, I have testicles. It's called Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome.  (Looks directly at Stacie)  I can't have babies, that's all it really means.  I am not dying. 

Lee:  Wait, what?  

McG:  I'll explain when we get home, dear.  No need to prolong Taylor's discomfort. 

Finnick: Isn't that really rare? 

Taylor: Yes, it is.  And I'd appreciate it if y'all are careful who you talk to about this.  I'm not ashamed or anything, but it's a private matter.  I really don't want it getting all over town. 

Morgan: People can be very cruel, even if they mean well.   I don't blame you for wanting to keep this quiet... especially in high school! 

Mace: That doesn't make any sense... I changed your diapers, you're a girl.  

Tanner: The only boy parts she has are inside, Grandpa.  It's not like the other kinds of Intersex, where the problem's obvious.  

Nikki: Is that in my sex ed book?  Or do we not cover that til a higher grade?

Stacie:  You're not dying?!  Really and truly?! (Runs across the room and hugs Taylor.) 

 

The Verdict Is In

 WDLC News special report. Live from Doll County Courthouse, Barbieville Mayor Rose-Grace Pike is making a prepared statement regarding Barbieville's Deadly Driver case.

Rose-Grace: Just moments ago, Paris Malfoy, once a respected professor at the local university, was found guilty of all charges.  Homicide victims included his own wife, historian Helena Malfoy, and County Parks Employee Charlie Lake.  Other charges include human trafficking, fraud, and grand theft auto.  Malfoy will be serving at least twenty years, at which time he is eligible for parole. I will not be taking questions at this time. 

Andre: Do not respond to any questions.  Walk directly to the vehicle.

Malfoy: You were supposed to get me off, you lousy little -- 

Lynch: Considering public sentiment, you're lucky to have avoided The Chair. 

****

It's evening by the time Rose-Grace gets home.  

Mace: We saw you on the news.  Looking pretty good.

Rose-Grace: Lynch brought him out and the entire mob forgot I existed.   (chuckles)  I'm not even sure how I ended up being the one to make a statement.  Usually it's one of the attorneys.  I'm just glad it's finally over and I can get back to normal.

Candy: I snuck out in disguise and came right here.  Pike said I can crash on the couch tonight, since your windows are far enough from the road to deter reporters.  

Rose-Grace: According to the police radio, crowds are congregating at your building and The Tor.  You can see them in front of James and PJ's place, too, but so far no one's complained there.  They're like vultures. 

Candy: Making all us ethical photojournalists look bad.  

Taylor: Hey, Mom!  Did he get The Chair? 

Rose-Grace: You know we don't even have a death penalty.  I came in here to tell you I spoke to Halfsies.  They don't have the funds for paid employees, but they said an internship is possible.  

Taylor: Internship is a good start, I guess.  Okay if I stop there after school tomorrow to work out a schedule?  

Rose-Grace: Just remember, your schoolwork comes first.  Keep the grades up. 

Rose-Grace: You left your homework this late?  You know better than that. 

Stacie: I've been working on this all day, Stepmom.  Life in ancient Rome was crazy!

Rose-Grace: Life in modern Barbieville is crazy, too.  I'm gonna pour me a glass of wine and soak in a bubble bath.  Which might be something they did in ancient Rome.  Although my wine isn't kept in lead urns.  

Pillaging the Pumpkin Patch

 Early November on Windu Acres

Fred: Why can't I ride back here with Stacie?  It's not fair.

Mace: You can if you agree to pay the ticket I'll get.  Got a couple hundred bucks laying around? 

Fred: How come we're taking the horse trailer but no horse? 

Mace: Hagrid will meet us there.  Anything that is too mushy for us, he takes to the preserve for the wild animals. Our stuff goes in the bed of the truck, his in the trailer.  

Fred: I like Hagrid.  He's like a giant hairy kid!

Hagrid: Once you adopt a few more helpers, or the ones you got grow up, you'll be able to keep the patch open after Halloween.  Do hay rides and stuff. 

Sulu: We did have live music this year, thanks to Mattie.  

Hagrid: Are you gonna adopt more kids?

Sulu: Five's our goal.  Bobby's hoping the next one is a boy. 

Stacie: You played for the customers?  I'd get stage fright so bad! 

Mattie (shrugs): More like I just played during down time.  Customers liked it, so Dad gave me more down time.  Some girl with pink hair tried to start a fight with me about Finnick.  It was weird.  

Stacie: Esperanza.  She's probably convinced he's cheating on Nakoma with you.  

Mattie: As if.  He's disgustingly in love with Nakoma. 

Mace: Hey, we ain't paying you gals to gossip!  

Mattie: We're waiting for you big strong men to start chucking pumpkins at us.  

Hagrid:  Dang, girl!  Where'd you come from that you think we're gonna throw these at you? 

Mattie: Give me a break.  I'm new at this farm girl stuff. 

Fred: This is neato.  Can we get in it?

Bobby: It's just a decoration.  I wish we'd get big enough to help, but Daddy says we have to weigh more than the pumpkins.  

Vivica: He's fibbing.  Mattie don't weigh more than the pumpkins and she gets to help. 

Fred: I babysit our little twins all the time and StepMommy says it's a big important job. So we are helping since we gotta keep Diana safe. 

Once the pumpkins are loaded, they discuss lunch. 

Hagrid: You pick the place, I pay the bill.  That's the deal every year and you know it. 

Mace: Might be a little different now that I've brought these two. 

Hagrid: Nope.  I expected Tanner, anyway. How's he working out? 

Mace: He's good.  Needs a poke every now and then, but who doesn't? 

Fred: Hagrid, tell Grandpa Mace to let me ride in the horsey trailer with you.  

Mace: Hagrid ain't the boss of me.  The only reason he's allowed to ride in the trailer is because he's a grown man and can pay his own ticket. 

FailFix Doll

WARNING

NEKKID PLASTIC PERSON AHEAD

TURN BACK NOW 

 I've been seeing these dolls on various You Tube channels and, of course, on the shelf.  I wasn't particularly interested in them  for reasons I will get into, but figured if I saw them marked WAY DOWN, I might buy one.  Today "if" happened. 

The gimmick is one of the strikes against these dolls.  Yet another doll pushing beauty as the end-all and be-all of the human female world.  She's failed at doing her hair and make-up and is utterly mortified.  You have to rescue her from this horrible fate.

Part of the surprise is discovering which look she was going for.  You do this by taking her out of the package removing her plastic molded robe.  The options are Day, Sparkle, or Evening. This gal was wearing the Evening look and her make-up will be bold and colorful!  

Separate from the doll herself in the package:  A stand, four plastic rubber bands, a brush, a "high pony" elastic, and her mask.  Because she was going for a high ponytail and I'm supposed to style her hair accordingly.  Once I get her jewelry and shoes and a gallon of mousse out of her hair, that is. 

Keep in mind, the rest of these pictures were taken after I combed the hair. Anyone who does this trying to put up a high ponytail shouldn't be trusted with make-up and a blow dryer.  Just sayin'. 

Strikes two and three - a ginormous head and inset eyes.  This is the "fail" face.  I'm beginning to suspect this gal was drunk in a wind tunnel while primping.  

Pop the spa mask on and make sure you hear it snap into place.  If it doesn't snap, you will not be able to rip her face off remove the bad make-up.  (Is it just me or does she look like Predator here?)

BAM!  Super glam, including a big 98 under one eye.  Her Day and Sparkle outfits look like football jerseys, with the number, so I thought she's meant to be a cheerleader.  No.  She's on her way to dance class and her name is Dance.Stylz so I'm lost on that one.

She's nicely articulated, so I'm thinking she can be a body donor.  A kid donor, since she's roughly the size of Stacie, but a donor nonetheless.  But... 

This is not the body of a child.  

Stacie stole most of her wardrobe.

I, or the dolls, can use all this stuff. The stand's waist grabber is too small or too low for most of my dolls, but I can work around that.  

Leaving this gal with her extra faces and earrings.  She may end up a body donor after all, or I might find her a home with someone who doesn't mind the giant head and inset eyes.  After all, I can always dress the kid in baggy clothes or give her a hormonal issue! 

All told, five bucks well spent. 

Success!

Morning, on Muneca Lake Beach.   

Zenobia: Because the village of Barbieville stopped hosting Pride Events, it's been unfairly labeled.  Mayor Rose-Grace Pike has been accused of homophobia and transphobia, but nothing could be farther from the truth.  (laughs) The 1810 village charter contains the following:  "Private acts by adults, inflicting no harm upon others, shall not be governed by law.  If such is sin, each of us will answer a higher authority."  The simple fact of the matter is this: Behavior of celebrants at past events brought private acts into the streets.  Celebrants who chose to be more discrete were openly mocked.  (pause for effect) This event is being hosted by me, Zenobia Malfoy, as a private citizen.  It's not fancy because almost everyone participating has volunteered.  Love is love, the details don't matter, so let's not focus on them. 

Crowd cheers.  

Zenobia: We've got no parade, but a nice little festival.  Including live music by my band Sarcastic Fringehead, which starts as soon as I pass this microphone to the lovely Whitney Darling. 

*****

Later, down by the floodwall. 

Ken: Hey, your band is good!  

Tanner: Yeah, we do all right as long as some jackass isn't yelling "Free Bird" from the crowd. (To Peeta) What the hell is that? 

Peeta: We won these for Tommy at the arcade.  Cost us a good bit, but it was totally worth it. And by the way, that was his mom yelling Free Bird.  She laughed so hard when the entire band "freed their birds" at us I thought she was gonna hurt herself. 

Tanner (shrugs): We're gonna do another set later, but Whitney had to go to work, so it'll be when she gets back.   You guys more comfortable here?  No one telling you to act more gay?

Ken: Our matching outfits and holding hands doesn't seem to be upsetting anyone on either side of the fence.  I really wish people'd stop thinking all gay men are flamers.  

Tommy: Your dad looks more like people think a gay dude should than my brother does, and he's walking around with a pretty woman! Is that your mom?  Did she rainbow her hair just for today? 

Casey: You know Dad.  He ain't gonna let being straight keep him from looking fabulous.  And no, Mom's hair is always like that.  (to Stacie) If Angus is here, who is pulling the carriage?  

Stacie: Our new mare, Ka-Gae.  She's kinda scary looking, almost totally white and she's got the blackest eyes!  Really sweet, though.  Angus will get his turn later, when Ka-Gae is tired. 

Tommy: Hey, Mommy, did you meet Casey's mom and dad?  They're so cool. 

Doreen: Yes, I met Iris and Coby at teacher conferences.  Coby is one of Ken's college instructors, too. 

Coby: You kids can ride the carriage together, if it's okay with Doreen. (laughs when Tommy and Casey get excited)  I thought you'd like that, but y'all better behave for Mr. Windu. 

Speaking of the carriage rides, The Hernandez family is returning from a pleasant jaunt around town.  

Esperanza: This is the worst Pride Festival ever.  I keep waiting for the hog-calling contest. 

Daisy: It is a little dull, but I don't mind.  (To Bertie) How did we raise a city slicker? Small town life is so much nicer. 

Bertie: Probably because we were living in a city for most of her life.  Of course, she is a grown woman and could go back if she chose, but I don't see her packing.  

Tate: I'm thinking, now that I've got the house in some kind of order, of getting a job here.  Do the rest of it at my own pace, you know?  It's not like I've got anything to go back for. 

Albus: Witch's Cove is always hiring, but it's mostly summer.  What kind of work are you looking for? 

Tate: Well, I've worked lots of janitor type jobs.  Some construction. 

Albus: Joe Montez is a contractor.  I don't know the number, but you can google him.  

Leia: Who is that fine looking slice of man? 

Boudica: Which one? 

*****

The evening winds down.  

Luna Jones relaxes at her face-painting station on the beach, listening to Sarcastic Fringehead perform requests.  One of twins is singing a duet with Whitney, some ancient love song.  Luna hopes Mom or Aunt Gwen picks her up soon - it's gotten chilly since the sun went down. 

 

 

A Lucky Break?

 Note: COVID masks are invisible to readers.  The hospital allows up to two people to be in the ER waiting room if they're with an ER patient. 

After Pike and Rose-Grace leave in a hurry, Mace gathers the kids. 

Fred: Sumpin bad happened!  Maybe somebody got dead! 

Mace: It's Candy.  That mad bastard who's running over people hit her, but she is alive. 

Stacie:  Mom?  Why would anyone want to runover Mom?

Tanner: Me and Finnick need to go.  Mom said, since we're adults now, she was going to change the paperwork so Dad's not POA any more. 

Whitney: We can't invade the ER.  That'd be bad even if there wasn't a pandemic on.  

Taylor: Yeah, if you go, everyone's gonna want to.  And don't start with how you'd stop us.  You know damn well you wouldn't argue if we managed to get into the car before you got it started. 

Finnick: She might not have done it yet, though.  You know how she procrastinates stuff like that.  

Nakoma: She's a tough woman.  I bet she's gonna be fine. 

Finnick: I just need to sit tight.

*****

At the hospital.

Pike: They've got medical students working the front desk?  

Boudicca: I help out everywhere, at least until my actual residency starts.  (Goes over the file, updating information as needed.)  This says her maiden name was Barr?  Candy Barr? 

Rose-Grace:  That's one of the reasons she kept Pike's name after they divorced.  Her parents were easily amused.  

Boudicca: All right, then.  It does say that the twins are listed as POA, but I don't think we need to contact them until Dr. Eaton makes a determination on her condition.  I'll be around if you need anything and someone will update you ASAP. 

Pike:  She'll be fine, honey.  She's survived worse.  

Rose-Grace: Are you trying to convince me or yourself? 

Pike:  I'm not sure.  This guy going after Candy makes me wonder if she was working the case.  But don't the cops have their own photographers? 

Rose-Grace: She could have been working on a story about the case.  Probably with someone from the Journal or WDLC.   I can make some calls if you want.

Pike: Maybe later.  Right now, I just need my wife.  Not the mayor. 

*****

When Gabriella and Claudia hear the news, they rush to their best friends' sides.  

Taylor: When they got the call, Mom and Grandpa were giving Dad a hard time for being racially insensitive.  He told me the exact same thing he told the twins - you know, those white boys!  I thought it was great that he treated me equal to them, but no.  They gotta ride him for his word choice.  

Gabriella: Well, it's tricky.  Maybe his word choice could be better, but his heart's definitely in the right place.  He's been such a great dad for you and Nikki.  

Taylor: Candy's been awesome, too.  Oh, Gabriella, I hope she's okay! 

Claudia: Not knowing what's going on is the worst.  

Nikki: Is it weird to be this worried about her?  I mean, she's just my... what... stepdad's ex? 

Claudia: I think of her kind of as your aunt or something.  Would it be weird to worry about Morgan? 

Whitney: I was so mad at you about Esper, and now this.  You could lose your mother. 

Tanner: Hey, Mom getting hurt has nothing to do with that.  You have every right to be mad at me. Even if you're wrong.

Nakoma: Because Esperanza is a meddling drama queen.  Sorry, Whit, I'm with the guys on this one. 

*****

Finally, after an eternity....

Marcus:  Candy's stabilized, but still unconsious.  I've called in a specialist for one of her legs - her knee took the brunt of the impact and is pretty much shattered.  Her vitals look good, all things considered.  

Rose-Grace: That's all?  This guy killed the others. 

Marcus (chuckles):  The others didn't see him coming and jump onto his hood.  By the way, I let the federal agent take Candy's go-pro.  Might be some useful footage on it. 

Saturday at Windu Acres

 

Tanner is intent on the movie they're watching, but Whitney keeps stealing glances at him.  The things Esperanza has been saying are preying at her, even though she trusts Tanner completely.  She steels herself and makes her move.

Tanner: Hey, what are you doing?  Nothing inside the clothes, remember?

Whitney: Well, I've been thinking about that.  We aren't in high school anymore, you know.  We both want to and we've been together so long.

Tanner:  Wait, what?  Who the hell have you been talking to?

Whitney:  Esperanza says...

He pushes her away, gently, but she can tell he's angry.

Tanner: What's she been saying to you, to make you act so weird?  Well, weird-for-you. 

Whitney: Don't you ever get mad at me for making you wait?  I mean, you're a grown man and men... 

Tanner: Don't you dare say men have needs.  (Heavy sigh)  Whitney, I love you.  I think you've got good reasons for waiting.  Don't let anyone, even me, pressure you into it.  

Whitney: But most of my reasons are gone now.  We've graduated, you're working... 

Tanner: Back up a bit.  What has Esperanza been saying about this?  

*****

Taylor:  When you get to High School avoid taking his class.  

Nikki: It's a required class and he's the only teacher for it.  I kinda have no choice.  Besides, all he did was say some mean stuff.  I can ignore that. 

Taylor: It's different from a teacher, and I think he's grading my work unfairly.  I had almost word-for-word the same answers as Alex and she got a way higher grade. 

Candy: Let me guess.  Severus Snape? 

Taylor: You just stroll in like you own the place.  

Candy: I gave birth to about half the residents, so I can do that.  

Nikki: I wonder if he's a racist. 

Candy: He just assumes kids of privilege are going to expect special treatment. When the boys had his class, it was a constant stream of "Your dad married the mayor, that doesn't make you special".  It got so stupid, Pike had me going to conferences with that guy even though I'm not the custodial parent. 

Taylor: Oh, yeah, I remember that now.  Maybe he got bullied in school and now he takes it out on us.

Candy: As if that's an excuse. 

*****

One look at his twin tells Finnick volumes.  

Finnick: Kids, maybe you should wait to watch the movie... 

Stacie: No way!  You promised! 

Anakin: I've only got a couple of hours til I have to go home.

Tanner (grumbling):  It's okay.  Instead of little sister getting lost this time, I guess the big brothers can.  But you're coming with me, Fin.  I got some bitching to do. 

Finnick lets Tanner tells the entire story.  Esperanza's accusations that he's not really with Mace, the constant comparisons to other couples (including Finnick and Nakoma), even comments about Wilma. 

Finnick: Okay, first off, Wilma's beside the point.  You don't want what Wilma's father had because that was messed up.  When you're with Grandpa, you're at work.   Would she be saying that if you still worked at the Cove? 

Tanner: Probably.  You and Nakoma would be helping me cheat on Whitney. 

Finnick: So basically, Esperanza is convincing Whitney that unless y'all have sex, you're going to spilt. (chuckles) Isn't pressuring the girlfriend into sex the boyfriend's job?  

Tanner: I told Whitney it didn't hurt Four and Tris any to wait for marriage.  We can do the same if she wants.  She's terrified of getting pregnant again when she still lives with her mom. 

Finnick: Esperanza's got a problem.  Nakoma had to tell her off because she was always asking stuff like that about us.  Someone should teach her a lesson. 

Tanner: You up for some patented Pike Twins Shenanigans?