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Showing posts with label Morgan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Morgan. Show all posts

Saturday, June 4, 2022

Taylor Tells The Family

After receiving an alarming call, Rose-Grace combines errands with tracking down her husband.


Rose-Grace:  There you are!  Daisy told me you were in HBAD! 

Pike:  I was, last she knew.  What's going on?

Fred: Step Mommy's real upset.  Tell her it's okay, Daddy. 

Rose-Grace: I just got a call from the Medical Social Worker.  It seems Stacie's convinced herself Taylor is dying.  I know we told Taylor it could wait until she was ready to tell the family, but... 

Pike:  Stacie never really got over your mom's death.  (Significant glance toward Fred)  And this might be too complex for some members of the family. 

Fred: I told Stacie it was big people stuff.  She don't never listen to me. 

*****
That evening.... 


Taylor:  What the hell?!  Does she think we're a bunch of liars?! 

Pike: We kind of set a precedent for what she thinks is going on, given how we failed to properly explain Grammy's illness. 

Taylor: Well, I'm not happy, but I guess we don't have a lot of choice at this point.  Can't have Stacie accidentally starting rumors. 


Rose-Grace:  I'll spread the word.  Family meeting tonight, after the little ones go to bed.  Might as well tell everyone at once.  And I'm sorry we have to rush this on you. 

Taylor: Apology accepted.  I almost have my head wrapped around it, anyway, so... 


Taylor: I... When my appendix burst, the surgeons found out that I don't have internal female guts.  Where my ovaries should be, I have testicles. It's called Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome.  (Looks directly at Stacie)  I can't have babies, that's all it really means.  I am not dying. 


Lee:  Wait, what?  

McG:  I'll explain when we get home, dear.  No need to prolong Taylor's discomfort. 

Finnick: Isn't that really rare? 

Taylor: Yes, it is.  And I'd appreciate it if y'all are careful who you talk to about this.  I'm not ashamed or anything, but it's a private matter.  I really don't want it getting all over town. 


Morgan: People can be very cruel, even if they mean well.   I don't blame you for wanting to keep this quiet... especially in high school! 


Mace: That doesn't make any sense... I changed your diapers, you're a girl.  

Tanner: The only boy parts she has are inside, Grandpa.  It's not like the other kinds of Intersex, where the problem's obvious.  

Nikki: Is that in my sex ed book?  Or do we not cover that til a higher grade?

Stacie:  You're not dying?!  Really and truly?! (Runs across the room and hugs Taylor.) 





 

Thursday, March 24, 2022

Loose Ends

Doll County Paranormal has a final meeting about the Witch's Cove investigation before turning the job over to a video production company.  


Jeremiah: Let's go over the data from the Raging Rapids area.  Diana's data tells us this land was originally owned by a farmer named Schmidt, and remained in the family until bought by Kida.  

Nova: Lottie reported it as a sad place and we got the photos of the white shape and the vortex of lights in this area.  The best guesses on the single EVP are "leave me alone" and "repeat the note".  There are records of several deaths, as we can expect with a multi-generational family farm in the days before hospitals.  

Esperanza: "Leave me alone" and the sadness Lottie sensed makes me wonder if there were any suicides.  But nothing on record supports that.  

Nova: We do have a few questionable deaths, but nothing so obvious as a note days after being left at the altar.   The strange thing, in my opinion, is this:  We got the photos, which indicate something very strong there, but none of the witness reports were on this side of the park.  

Kenna: It hides from the living, but can't hide from the camera.  It really does want to be left alone. 


Hagrid: Definitely more sightings at the grove by The Overlook.  Kids, mostly. 

Peeta: We ran the movement patterns through a comparison program.  Closest matches were small animal activity and children running.  And by children, the computer specified ages three to five.  

Hagrid: Them EVPs sure sound like kids laughing.  What did we decide they say? 

Jeremiah: First one is "Can't catch me", "Fantasy", or "Don't touch me".  The first and last ones seem very fitting for kids at play.  Second one is probably a response to our asking for a name.  "Antonio." But others heard "Float my boat", "Broke my nose", and "Don't I know".  

Diana:  Well, what I found in the archives fits almost perfectly.  There was an orphanage in the area.  (reads from tablet)  Hillcrest Children's Home, managed by two spinster daughters of the Chase family.  A tornado took it out in 1959.  

Lottie: It must not have been like the orphanages I read about in stories.  None of them are happy places.  

Diana: The ladies who ran the place must have been very nice.  (refers to the tablet again)  Census records list a few boys named Tony - some with Latin last names, so possibly short for Antonio.  One Antonia, in 1930.  And "broke my nose" is a fairly common complaint among rowdy children.  

****

While they talk ghosts, the Pike women enjoy the newest luxury at Windu Acres.


Morgan: I could've used a hot tub back when I was digging up bones for a living.  Academic life is making me soft.  (pokes at her belly)  I've been slacking off on workouts since Candy left.   What is with her, running off to war zones and disaster areas every chance she gets?


McG: She always had an overdeveloped sense of adventure.  I'm pleased that Rose-Grace is more of a homebody. 

Rose-Grace: Hey, don't put the mothers of your grandchildren into competition!  (they all laugh)  She's not comfortable staying in one place long - that's why she divorced Pike when he left the military - but I wish she'd satisfy her wanderlust by selling her photos to travel magazines instead of news magazines. 


Morgan: Probably the result of growing up in foster care.  They move kids around so much. 

Rose-Grace: You'd be amazed how many of those moves are for the kid's safety.  The screening for foster parents is nowhere near as good as it should be.  (pointedly changes the subject)  I heard a rumor that you were applying for Mrs. Moneybags.

Morgan: Mom wishes.  You'd think after getting eight grandchildren out of my brother, she'd leave me alone, but no.  My biological clock is driving her nuts.  

McG: I just mentioned the idea.  As a topic of idle conversation. 
 

Monday, November 22, 2021

Take A Stand

Paris Malfoy's trial so far has been a lot of technical jargon, explaining the crime lab's test results and evidence found in the possessions of all three victims and the accused.  Prosecution asks Federal Agent Carol Danvers to summarize. 



Carol: Charlie Lake discovered that the accused was involved in bringing immigrants into the country through illegal means and providing them with false documentation.  Shortly thereafter, Ms Lake was struck by the vehicle identified via laboratory testing.  She was killed instantly.  The same vehicle later struck and killed Helena Malfoy.  Candy Pike escaped with serious injuries from a third vehicular attack, capturing video footage of the driver in the process.  The driver has been identified as the accused. 

The prosecution rests. 


Paris: It's ridiculous that I have to wear this prison jumpsuit.  Why was I not allowed a suit?  This is humiliating.

Judge: Local law, Mr. Malfoy.  Your complaint has been noted. 

Andre: Your Honor, distinguished members of the jury, my intent today is not to convince you this man did not do the things of which he was accused.  It is to tell you a sordid history of spousal abuse, which led him to take such desperate means.  (To Paris) We'll begin with the courtship and wedding.  How did you meet your wife? 

Paris: We attended university together and shared a history major.  My parents refused their blessing unless Helena signed a prenuptial agreement and she refused to do so unless specific requirements were met.  

Andre: What were those requirements?

Paris: In her words: Whoever files for divorce loses everything.  The money, the property, even custody of the children.  She was quite insulted by the idea, believe my parents were calling her a gold digger. I felt it was a mere formality - never would I have expected what was to come.  I was trapped. 

Andre: How would you characterize your marriage? 

Paris: Pleasant enough, at first.  But after our youngest was born, she became demanding.  She provided very little income but insisted on luxury items like a fleet of cars.  It was her choice to move into The Tor from my family estate.  The Tor has luxuries the manor house doesn't.  She ignored my concerns about the children, even financially supporting our eldest in a hedonistic and immoral lifestyle.  It was Helena who kept Zenobia's van.  When the police found it, it was full of drug paraphernalia, and Helena bribed them to protect Zenobia. 

Andre: How did this situation lead you into human trafficking? 

Paris: Helena was spending money faster than I could make it.  I tried to get her to increase her own profits from the museum, to charge more for admission or something, but she refused to even consider it.  So I found people, those willing to work for pennies on the dollar, and did what was needed to keep them here.  

Andre: Charlie Lake, an employee of Doll County Parks, discovered this.  What did she do? 

Paris: She was blackmailing me.  One of the things I did to raise the money was downsize our parking permit at The Tor, leaving us nowhere to store Zenobia's van.  I was taking it beck to her when I came across Charlie jogging.  I meant to give her a good scare, but it went badly and she died.  After that, I had to hide the van.   But I realized:  I was rid of the blackmailer, so why not be rid of Helena the same way?  And then the photographer who'd been snooping around.  


Andre: Please state your name and relationship to the accused. 

Morgan: I'm Morgan Pike, doctor of paleontology.  I teach at the same college.  I also worked with Helena at the museum and Candy is my former sister-in-law.  

Andre: Did you ever observe any tension between the Malfoys? 

Morgan: They seemed very formal with each other. Helena did mention that he had been pressuring her to raise admission prices, but that didn't strike me as very unusual.  Couples bicker bout that kind of thing.  

Andre:  You say they were formal.  Can you elaborate on that? 

Morgan:  If I hadn't known they were married, I would have thought they were colleagues.  They interacted in a business-like manner. 


Coby: I'm Jacoby Patrick.  I'm a professor of Gender Studies at the college and I have a exhibit at the museum, much like Morgan Pike.  

Andre: What is your assessment of the Malfoy marriage? 

Coby: They were quite unhappy.  Neither of them spoke of the other fondly.  Both very strong personalities, with different priorities.  She was a feminist, for example, but he focused on their son to the exclusion of the daughters.  Helena and I discussed that at length since that's my field. 

Andre: Did either of them mention divorce? 

Coby: Helena did say it was not an option.  


Andre: What can you tell me about your parents' marriage?

Zenobia: It was a joke.  The only thing they had in common was a love of history, and they loved it for different reasons.  Both had very high standards for us, but like I said, for different reasons.  

Andre: Your chosen lifestyle hardly seems to meet high standards, if you'll forgive me for saying so. 

Zenobia: I'm an adult and my lifestyle is hardly the drunken orgy Dad presents it as.  

Andre: I beg your pardon.  Did you ever hear them argue about money?

Zenobia: Only when I graduated and Mom wanted to give me my trust fund.  He said I didn't need it if I wasn't going to college.  Mom said it was meant for getting started in life, not just for college.  

Andre: Did you get it? 

Zenobia: Yes, I did.  


Andre: Tell me about your parents' marriage. 

Boudicca: They weren't prone to public displays of affection, not even with us, but some families are like that.  Everything seemed fine. 

Andre: You never heard discussions about money?

Boudicca: Well, there was the blow-up about Zenobia's trust.  Dad sees the trusts as college money, so it wasn't an issue for me.  I went directly into medical school.   

Andre: Your parents supported your choice to pursue such an expensive education?

Boudicca: Well, Dad did try to talk me into nursing.  I figured it was his thing about girls in careers, but it might have been about money.  (looks at Paris) He should have clarified if it was.  We could have worked something out. 

Charlotte: My name is Charlotte Jackson.  I have a long history with Helena and I also live in The Tor. 

Andre: When did you meet Helena? 

Charlotte: We went to school together, Barbieville Public. My family was very poor and so we didn't have much.  My sister and I usually wore old clothes.  Stained and poorly mended, several years out of fashion.  We couldn't go on field trips, things like that, and Helena bullied us relentlessly. 

Andre: Can you think of any specific incidents? 

Charlotte: Well, it reached its peak in High School.  You see, I had a baby and the father deserted me, but Helena... well, she told it all over school that I didn't even know who his father was.  Another rumor was that Chris was the product of incest.  It was so awful, I had a nervous breakdown.  Helena just used that to torment me more.  I ended up leaving town in shame. 

Andre: Terrible. 

Charlotte: I returned recently, but you can imagine my feelings when I realized Helena was my neighbor.  I bought a campground as an investment.  Helena's son vandalized the place, even leaving one of my permanent tenants homeless because his camper was totaled. I prosecuted the boy, but Helena pulled strings and got the boy off with just a slap on the wrist.  She's filed complaints about me to The Tor so often, I might lose my lease!  

Andre: Is the problem limited to your residence? 

Charlotte: She's turned everyone at the country club against me, too.  I try to socialize but they just turn up their noses and walk away.  The boy, he bullies my sister's daughters at school.  No doubt he learned from her.  Helena's daughter works at the hospital where my husband is a patient and I'm afraid she'll do something to Billy.  

Andre: Do you find it unreasonable to think Helena drove her husband to desperation?  

Charlotte: Absolutely reasonable.  The woman was a menace to anyone she took a dislike to. 












Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Digging For Clues

 The investigation continues.



Iggy: I tagged along with PJ to tell you about this guy Mom dated.  He's the main reason I moved in with Dad, and then Mom got smart and dumped him.  Apparently, she thought I was the problem but after I was gone, she realized it was all him. 

PJ: That guy would have no reason to kill Helena, though.

Iggy: Unless she was a witness.  

Lynch: Anything's possible.  I'll take a formal statement from you after I clarify a few things with your stepmother.  (To PJ)  You mentioned that Charlie took issue with some of your parenting methods? Was that a problem? 

PJ: Charlie had a right to say something about the boys, being their mother, but I felt she over-stepped when my girls were concerned.  For example, I was arguing with Belle about dating.  I think she's too young, but Charlie recited that vulgar rhyme that starts "old enough to bleed".  

Iggy: But dad backed up PJ on that one.  In their house, we can't date until we can drive.  

PJ: It's nothing unusual for a blended family.  Surely you don't think I killed her over that?

******

Across town, Jimin is dealing with his most troublesome client.


Jimin: Mrs. Jackson, I don't understand.  Why do you think Miss Carson is needed?  She knows little or nothing about your family situation. 


Charlotte: Not for the custody thing.  For this ridiculous claim that I killed Helena Malfoy and Charlie Lake.  Bonnie has insight into that, since she is the Malfoy boy's parole officer. 

Bonnie: Probation officer.  Parole is an entire different thing. 

Charlotte: Whatever.  Tell him how nice and civil we all were.  

Jimin: Mrs. Jackson, I do family law, not criminal law. You'll have to retain a different lawyer if you're concerned you might be charged.  (To Bonnie) Unless you can contribute to the custody matter, I'm afraid we've wasted your time.


Charlotte: Seriously?!  It's all connected, can't you see?  Whoever killed them is working for either Billy's sons or for this damn town.  I'm not sure which bunch hates me more.  Hell, maybe they're in it together!  (Eyes Bonnie suspiciously) Come to think of it, the Carsons are one of the founding families of  Barbieville... 


Bonnie: Well, I  think I've heard enough.  Jimin, I'm sure I'll see you in Family Court.  (Shakes his hand)  Maybe we can get dinner sometime?  

Jimin: That would be nice.  (Raises his voice to be heard over Charlotte) I'm sorry about this.

Bonnie: Never apologize for your clients, Mr. Rhee.  You aren't responsible for their behavior. 

****

At Doll County Museum


Carol: Mr. Patrick, you are a hard man to track down. 

Coby: I keep busy, that's for sure.  What can I do for you, Agent Danvers? 

Carol: I wanted to speak to you and Ms Pike about Helena Malfoy.  You were the last to see her alive.

Morgan: Dr. Pike.  I have a PhD in paleontology.  


Coby: I don't think I'd be much help.  Helena works with the university, having permanent exhibits here that connect to our disciplines.  I've recently taken charge of Gender Studies and met with Helena about my own exhibit.  But that's the only time I ever met her.

Carol: Did she mention any problems?  At home or professionally?

Coby: She did mention that her husband clings to old-fashioned gender roles, much to the detriment of their daughters.  An older daughter even left home because of it.   But nothing to indicate she was in any danger. 


Morgan: Did she mention that her son is an entitled little shit? 

Coby (chuckles): She didn't phrase it that bluntly, but yes. 

Morgan (to Carol): I was here helping plan Coby's space, more out of boredom than anything else.  Helena mentioned that she was going for a jog along Hawthorne.  She liked it because the hill made it a challenge, but the shade from all the trees kept it cool.  I guess that's when she was hit. 





  








Tuesday, May 5, 2020

Graduation

Every other parking space in the Barbieville Schools lot has a car in it.  Families are gathered in, on, and around each car.  At least one member of each family is wearing the teal or purple graduation gown.   


Rose-Grace: Welcome, everyone, to possibly the strangest graduation in Barbieville history.  Please remember to stay in your designated parking spaces, just as you would your seats at a normal graduation.  Let's also take a moment to be grateful for the lovely weather today.  (Scattering of applause from the families.)  Each of our graduating seniors has overcome unique struggles to be here today, celebrating with us, but we can't let everyone make a speech.  I give you our valedictorian, Whitney Darling, and salutatorian Edward Dean Junior.  


Whitney: Unlike many of my peers, I didn't grow up in this school system.  Coming to Barbieville Schools was a revelation for me - this is a place where education is valued above all else.  Barbieville does have to meet governmental standards, but they don't do it through rote memorization as my previous school did.  My critical thinking skills were challenged here, often, and the faces in the history books became people to me.  I don't think I've met a student who didn't feel valued by the faculty here.  There's a lot wrong with the world, but I'm confident that everyone taking home a diploma today is prepared to make it a better place.


Frodo's cap blows off in the wind.  He sets it on the table before him, on top of the stack of diplomas, before addressing the crowd.  

Frodo: I came up in the Barbieville system, so the stories I hear about public schools seem like science fiction to me.  Some of that dystopian stuff.  Not to say we're perfect, but we pretty much are. (laughter and applause from crowd)  We all have hopes and dreams, and not all of us will succeed in reaching them, but that's okay.  We're human and that happens.  The important thing is that we are prepared to make the attempt.  Look out, world, Barbieville class of 2020 is coming for you!


The graduates are called to the stage one at a time, where they pick up their diploma from the stack.  The mayor bows slightly to them to acknowledge their achievement.  Since this happens in alphabetical order, it's easy for Finnick Pike to rush back onstage when his twin comes out and they hug the mayor. 

Rose-Grace (laughing but annoyed):  Boys!  I told you not to do that!  We have to set an example! 

Finnick (into the microphone):  She's our stepmom, y'all.  We live in the same house.

****

After.


Fred: Kin I see your no-more-school paper? 

Tanner: It's called a diploma, and we still have school to do.  Trade school or college, so we can get good paying jobs and spoil our little brother.  

Fred: But you know how to trade.  You traded me toast for an egg this morning.

Tanner: Trade means job in this case.  We're going to learn how to build and fix machines, like the Windigo.  My ugly brother wants to marry into the amusement park industry, ya know. 

Finnick: I'm still bummed over no prom.  

Tanner (scoffs): Prom.  Maybe you're my ugly sister. 


The extended family makes a conference call to celebrate with the twins.  

Morgan: Candy, you are looking buff.  We're gonna have to start working out together when you're in town.  

Candy: That would be great.  

Pike: Hey, we're supposed to be here for the boys, not a hen party. 

Morgan: Well, the boys aren't here yet.  Should we just sit here and stare at each other until they show up?  (To Candy)  Do you feel old yet?  With your babies graduating?

Candy: Nah, we started young.  I'll feel old when it's Fred up there. 

Pike: I felt old as hell watching them graduate.  I just wish they could've had the giant party they wanted.  It would've been nice to sit with my family, too, but I managed to nab a spot near them.  

Lee: It'll be a funny story to tell their grandkids someday.  Better than getting shipped off to war for your senior trip.  

McG: I'm calling on the land line to find out what's keeping them.  (The boys log in as she rises.) 

****

Whitney's been getting calls all day from unfamiliar numbers.  Distant relatives, mostly, but one in particular stands out.


William: I bet I'm the last person you want to see, but I had to call.  Valedictorian!  That's a big deal even without...  

Whitney (a note of warning in her tone): Without also being a working mom? 

William: I've never been happier to be proven wrong, Whitney.  I won't keep you long, I'm sure you're busy, but I wanted to tell you that.  

Whitney: Wow.  Thanks, Dad.

****

Zenobia sneaks into the break room even though she is still on the clock.


Tris (annoyed): Stop checking up on me.  I'm fine.

Zenobia: Your parents didn't show up for your graduation.  How can you be fine? 

Tris: The only parents I need were there.  Marcus and Esmeralda.  (takes Zenobia's hand)  Honestly, I swear, I'm good.  And I will let you know if I stupidly start missing those xenophobic Bible-thumping losers. 

Zenobia (not really convinced): Okay.  Did you get the text from Midna about when we reopen Sunburst?  

Tris: Yes.  Now get back to work and let me eat in peace. 


Monday, April 13, 2020

Easter in Lockdown


In the lull between Easter dinner and dessert (because who has room for dessert right away?) the residents of Windu Acres, Barbieville, chat.  They all pretend not to notice the dogs feasting on the little ones' mess.  


Rose-Grace: I'm torn between being mad at you for breaking your self-imposed exile and being glad you're here. 

Pike:  I showered before coming and washed my hands when I arrived.  Ryan and I have been wiping down the interior of The Tank at least once a day.  Ryan said his sister's gonna bring him dinner, but he's staying in.  He's really worried about his folks. 

Rose-Grace: You can take him some of our leftovers as well.  God knows we have an army here, but I made enough for two armies!  


Mace: You be glad he's here, Rosie, and I'll be mad at him.  I'm old.

Taylor: That's why you and the babies are way over here.  We're being super careful.

Stacie: Yeah, we're even gonna wipe down everything Dad may have touched before letting y'all leave the table.  I mean, the only rooms he's been in are the entry hall, the kichen, and the downstairs bathroom.

Mace (laughs): Oh, yeah, little girl?  You think you can stop me from getting up?  

Stacie: You aren't that dumb, Grandpa.


Rose-Grace: Our other usual guests will be calling us for an on-line conference call.

Finnick: Wait.  You heard from Mom? 

Rose-Grace: Oops, that part was supposed to be a surprise.  Her idea, I swear! 

*****

The Conference Call! 


Candy: Hey, guys.  Sorry to worry you so much, but there was a cluster- I mean, some trouble with me getting back into the country.   I'm quarantined, obviously, but I'm not sick or hurt or anything. 

Stacie: You look different. 

Fred: You look way prettier now, Mommy.

Candy: My green stripe is gone and I've been working out a lot.  I always meant to start, and this whole mess is as good an excuse as any.  By the time I come home, Fred won't be the only one of my babies I can lift!

Tanner: You gotta catch me first. 

Finnick: She'll be able to, dummy.  She's looking like one of them lady MMA fighters!


Morgan:  You look great, Candy.  I always thought you needed a little meat on your bones. 

Candy: You're sheltering in place at your folks' house?  And you haven't killed each other yet? 

Lee (laughs):  She gets outta line, we send her to her couch.  

Morgan: Mom's helping me with teaching on-line.  I was already making so many rookie mistakes before this virus hit!  Thank God she's a sub now and doesn't have a course load of her own! 

Talk then becomes the usual large-family chaos.  

HAPPY EASTER 
to all my Barbieville followers! 

Friday, January 31, 2020

The New Year Brings Beginnings

At the local college, the winter quarter begins.  


Becky: Hey, study buddies.  Ready to start the new quarter?

Phoebe: Sylvia started hers this morning.  Crazy woman took an eight o'clock class. 

Sylvia:  It's a required class, you bonehead.  (To Becky)  How do you know Ben, anyway?  We thought you were another business major, but he said you're in journalism. 

Becky: We're in a support group together, Kin As Parents.  We'd met before that, but KAP was what really made us friends.  

Phoebe: Are you interested in being more than friends?  It's just us girls, you can tell us.

Sylvia: I hope not, because he's gay.  That's why -- 

Phoebe: Stop believing the crap your ex told you.  (To Becky) My sister recently escaped from a cult.  Oops, I mean a bad relationship that might as well have been one. 

Sylvia: Well, if he isn't gay, then why -- (Shuts up when she sees Ben enter the room.)


Ben (laughs at the awkward silence): Talking about me, huh?  Did you have anything juicy to say? 

Becky: You are pretty much the only thing we have in common at this point. 

Ben: Good point.  Besides, if you're talking about me, you're leaving someone else alone. 


Morgan: Welcome to Intro To Paleontology.  I'm Morgan Pike, your instructor.  Today we're just going to go over the syllabus and set some ground rules.

******

At Barbieville City Hall Complex, Rayshawn Lucas puts the next step of his plan into motion.


Rayshawn: Wow.  This is the most casual mayor's office I've ever been in. 


Rose-Grace:  I'll take that as a compliment.  Mr. Lucas, I presume? 

Rayshawn: Yes.  And you must be Ms Pike.  I wanted to discuss my plans for The Point.  Right now, there's an issue with the zoning? 

Rose-Grace: The previous owner was trying to have it rezoned and many of my citizens were against the move.  If you're planning to reopen the motel and campground as it was, zoning won't be a problem. 

Rayshawn: Excellent.  

*****

Jeremiah Russo is moving into his fiancee's rambling old farmhouse, which requires cleaning out unused rooms for his daughters.  Some of his co-workers volunteer to help after work Saturday.


Esmeralda: You're right.  She does look more like a Gypsy fortune-teller than I do.

Jeremiah: It's those earrings.  You don't do the big hoop earrings.

Esmeralda: I never did.  Anyway, put me to work! 


Nova: Neither of these women is Pern.

Jeremiah: Pern's coming.  (Points out his co-workers)  The gal with blue hair is Zenobia Malfoy and the other is Esmeralda Eaton. 

Nova: Zenobia's a Malfoy? Mariko never mentioned that part. 

Jeremiah: He's nothing like her dad, I promise.  How could she be, if she's friends with this bunch? 

Nova: Speaking of this bunch... you can probably guess who they are.  

Jeremiah: How do you tell the twins apart?


Zenobia: Someone got up to some kinky stuff in here.

Nakoma: You got kinky on the brain. When did Esmeralda and Pern switch bodies?

Zenobia: Hey, she volunteered.  Pern had to wait around for Frodo... he got a flat tire and was running late... but she's coming. She said Anakin asked Pocahontas to adopt him?  What's up with that? Your little brother will be your nephew.  

Nakoma: If Pern signs over total custody, it's about the same thing without an actual adoption.  He can even change his name to Smith if they want, but he won't legally be John and Pocahontas's kid. (shakes her head) Kind of hard to explain.  But if they do it, I'm considering asking to do the same, because I'm sick of carrying around Cash's name. 


Tanner: Hey, where's your lazy sons?  Get em in here!

Esmeralda: Only one of my sons is lazy.