Catching Up and Getting Acquainted

Windu Acres: Candy has provided lunch for Mace and Tanner.

Candy: I'm surprised you're not taking courses in animal husbandry or something, given society's rejection of apprenticeships.  Unless you call it internship. 

Tanner:  Grandpa Mace found me some on-line courses.  I usually do that in the evenings while everyone else is fighting over the television. 

Candy: I see.  And Finnick is in trade school learning to fix roller coasters.

Tanner: Well, it's not that simple, but yeah.  Albus says he's looking forward to retirement, finally, but the guy's full of it.  Witch's Cove could've hired someone a long time ago if he really wanted to retire. 

Mace: Albus will retire when he's dead.  He's as much a part of the family as the park is.  Or maybe it's the other way around.  Ask Tanner about the wedding.  

Tanner: Grandpa!

Candy: Whose wedding?  Peeta and Ken's is the only one I know of.

Tanner:  Grandpa thinks it's funny that Whitney is...  well, she keeps fussing at Nakoma and Finnick that there is no reason to delay their wedding.  But me and Finnick want to have a double wedding.  There's no way me and Whitney are ready - I'm not gonna be the guy that moves his wife into his parents' house.

Candy: Maybe she's turning into a Bridezilla and doesn't want to share the glory.  Or maybe Ken and Peeta gave her wedding fever and it'll pass. 

Tanner: It better pass. 

******

Speaking of Nakoma, she's providing Maisie with a casual tour of the college campus.

Nakoma:  Most of your classes will be in this building, and I've never even set foot in here!  

Maisie:  Thanks so much for this.  They gave me a map and everything, but it always helps to have a flesh-and-blood person to ask. Where's the best place to study?  Besides the library.  (Her phone chimes)  Oh, that's my husband.  Let me take this real quick.

Husband: Who is Helena House and why are you using her phone?

Maisie: It's the group home's name.  Helena was the mother of the benefactors, and this is my new phone.  I get a company one as one of the founders.

Husband: She found you again, didn't she? Where'd she get arrested this time? 

Maisie: I don't know and I don't care.  Look, I'm kind of in the middle of something.  I'll call you tonight? 

Nakoma: Finnick told me what little he knows about your history when he asked me to show you around campus.  I'm sorry your birth family sucks.  

Maisie: Thanks.  I lucked out when I met Dionne, though.  The Baptistes welcome me to everything - and now the Pikes do! (gestures with the phone)  The military ever stops deploying my husband, I hope to start a semi-functional family of my own.

Mrs. Moneybags Finale

 Before the filming of the finale, Rayshawn and Marty confer.

Marty: Honest, Dad, I agree with you.  You don't have to keep asking me.

Rayshawn: It's a big decision, son, and we're already going about this... well, in an unusual way.  

Marty: Well, we're a couple of weirdos anyway.  (laughs) I like them both and would be okay with either one, but I really do think she's the best one for you.  You're the one that's gonna be married to her. 

Rayshawn:  Well, ladies, this is it.  Inside this box are two envelopes, one with each of your names. One containing plane tickets for two, a bit of a getaway during which we can start our wedding plans.  The other is air fare home and a thousand dollars for each week you've lasted.  

Seven: I'm so nervous.  Are you nervous?

Doreen: Of course, I'm either getting proposed to or rejected in front of millions. 

Rayshawn:  More like thousands, but... (chuckles, a bit nervous himself)  Before I hand it over, I have a few words for you.  This was not an easy choice for me and Marty.  Both of you more than meet our needs, each in your own way.  We hope that one "rejected in front of thousands" remains a friend.  And, of course, we hope the one proposed to comes to love us as we will come to love her. 

Doreen lets Seven remove the lid and they both look into the box.  

Doreen: Well, lets get this over with.  Open our envelopes on the count of three? 

Seven: Yes, please.  

They take out the almost identical envelopes and open them in unison.  One of them shrieks in joy and they jump up in a hug.  

Rayshawn watches them jumping up and down in each other's arms, trying not to laugh.  

Rayshawn: Wow, you sure take rejection well. (To Marty)  And we were worried about hurting her feelings.... 

Doreen: I've got eyes.  Watching you two over this last week, since she gave up because she thought I had it in the bag, I would have fainted if she was sent home. 

💞Announcing the engagement of Mr. Rayshawn Lucas, real estate tycoon, to Seven Lincoln, waitress and cashier.  No wedding date has been set.  💞

*******

The next morning, plumb across the country....

Dionne: Did you see the finale of Moneybags last night?  That was insane!  

Maisie: Yeah, I thought for sure the redhead had it won.  

Dionne: Have I mentioned it's filmed in Barbieville?  Our new home? 

Maisie (chuckles): A few times.  That's why I watched, to get a peek at the town.  I also googled the place.  I wanna know what I'm getting into.  

Dionne: I bet you looked at the college, too.  Sure I can't talk you into changing your major? 

Maisie: I've spent too many years chasing a law degree to change it now.  

Candy (walks up): Dionne and Maisie, I presume?  I'm Candy, your Uber driver. 

Dionne: Wow, you've changed a lot since the wedding.  (To Maisie) Maisie Barnes, meet Candy Pike.  She's my uncle's ex-wife and the mother of my step-cousins. (To Candy) Maisie's my heterosexual life partner, to steal a line from a movie.  

Candy: Nice to meet you, Maisie.  Why did you ask me to meet you in the parking lot of a - shall we say - questionable bar?

Maisie:  I live above the bar.  Or I did until today.  (shrug)  Even working two jobs, it was all I could afford after tuition and books. 

Dionne:  Let's get these bags in the car and hit the road, shall we?  

Candy: We're either gonna be pals when this trip is over or we'll hate each other.  Let's find out. 

The Verdict Is In

 WDLC News special report. Live from Doll County Courthouse, Barbieville Mayor Rose-Grace Pike is making a prepared statement regarding Barbieville's Deadly Driver case.

Rose-Grace: Just moments ago, Paris Malfoy, once a respected professor at the local university, was found guilty of all charges.  Homicide victims included his own wife, historian Helena Malfoy, and County Parks Employee Charlie Lake.  Other charges include human trafficking, fraud, and grand theft auto.  Malfoy will be serving at least twenty years, at which time he is eligible for parole. I will not be taking questions at this time. 

Andre: Do not respond to any questions.  Walk directly to the vehicle.

Malfoy: You were supposed to get me off, you lousy little -- 

Lynch: Considering public sentiment, you're lucky to have avoided The Chair. 

****

It's evening by the time Rose-Grace gets home.  

Mace: We saw you on the news.  Looking pretty good.

Rose-Grace: Lynch brought him out and the entire mob forgot I existed.   (chuckles)  I'm not even sure how I ended up being the one to make a statement.  Usually it's one of the attorneys.  I'm just glad it's finally over and I can get back to normal.

Candy: I snuck out in disguise and came right here.  Pike said I can crash on the couch tonight, since your windows are far enough from the road to deter reporters.  

Rose-Grace: According to the police radio, crowds are congregating at your building and The Tor.  You can see them in front of James and PJ's place, too, but so far no one's complained there.  They're like vultures. 

Candy: Making all us ethical photojournalists look bad.  

Taylor: Hey, Mom!  Did he get The Chair? 

Rose-Grace: You know we don't even have a death penalty.  I came in here to tell you I spoke to Halfsies.  They don't have the funds for paid employees, but they said an internship is possible.  

Taylor: Internship is a good start, I guess.  Okay if I stop there after school tomorrow to work out a schedule?  

Rose-Grace: Just remember, your schoolwork comes first.  Keep the grades up. 

Rose-Grace: You left your homework this late?  You know better than that. 

Stacie: I've been working on this all day, Stepmom.  Life in ancient Rome was crazy!

Rose-Grace: Life in modern Barbieville is crazy, too.  I'm gonna pour me a glass of wine and soak in a bubble bath.  Which might be something they did in ancient Rome.  Although my wine isn't kept in lead urns.  

From The Past

Gabriella's discovery of a submerged SUV in the waters of Witch's Cove Inlet, the connection to Muneca Lake for the town's many small streams, has brought Lynch and Carol to the park. 

Gabriella: I just caught a glimpse of something odd from the corner of my eye.  Had to use my phone's camera and zoom in to tell what it was.  But I didn't take a picture.  I ran back over here to tell Dad. 

Lynch: You were on your way to the restroom? 

Carol:  I didn't know you could see down into the inlet from this side. 

Gabriella: Usually, you can't, but part of the underbrush is all smashed down.  I think that's what I noticed.  I did go back over there, to use the restroom, while we were waiting for you to arrive.  I had to go pretty bad. 

Lynch: I'll make a note of that.  (To Carol)  They keep the underbrush thick to keep people from going over the edge, either by accident or on purpose.  Amusement park is an easy swim across from here, if you can get to the water.  

Carol: An SUV driving through, especially at speed, would crush the undergrowth.  We should have CSI check for tire tracks from the parking area.  

Ryder: Man, Tate, you just keep running into those good looking cop ladies.  If this was a chick flick, it'd be a sure sign of... 

Tate: You watch chick flicks? 

Ryder: I live with three sisters, two of which are teenagers.   Who do you prefer?  The cop or the fed? 

Joe: The cop is happily married with three kids.  

Ryder: I guess it's the fed, then. 

Joe (rolls his eyes):  And they say women are chatty.  Y'all talk more in an hour than any female employee I've ever had did in a day.  

Tate: With my luck, if I find a lady, she'll be buried under 50 years worth of newspapers in my uncle's attic or basement.  (To Joe)  It's all him, man.  I swear. 

****

At Windu Acres, Candy catches Pike up on her recent reunion with Dawn Lung. 

Pike: I think I remember her now.  The girl I called your little sister?  Her dad got busted for bigamy and her parents both sucked so bad she ended up in the system?

Candy: Right.  When wife number two found out Dawn was going in and out of foster care, she stepped up.  Figured Dawn was her daughter's sister, so they should be together.  Funny she ended up here, too, isn't it?  

Pike: That's just how cool Barbieville is.  What's Dawn doing these days? 

Candy: She and her sister have a business called Tailoring by Halfsies. 

Finnick: Hey, you should see if she can give Taylor a job.  She's recently rediscovered how much she loves sewing.  Has Grammy's machine set up in her room and everything. 

Candy: I could ask her.  But I think we should talk to Taylor and Rose-Grace first. 

Finnick: Step-Mom just pulled in.  I heard her car. 

Rose-Grace (on phone): Excellent.  Keep me updated,  Lynch.  I want this nightmare over. 

Pike: Hey, when you're -- 

Rose-Grace: Honey, you know it take me a while to switch from Mayor Mode.  Do you need Wife Mode or Mom Mode?  

Pike: Since it relates to Taylor, definitely Mom Mode. 

 

Meanwhile...

 Candy and Dawn meet at Sunburst to catch up on the last few years.  

Dawn: These are all your kids?  You've been busy. 

Candy(laughs): No, the big twins, the girl in camo, and the little boy are mine.  The other two girls are Pike's stepdaughters and the babies are his with Rose-Grace.  

Dawn: So your ex is married to the mayor?  Do you two get along?  There's no bad blood?

Candy: We had a amicable divorce.  He wanted to put down roots, I didn't.  We do a pretty good job of co-parenting - none of that playing the kids against each other crap.  

Dawn: You know I was in and out of the system because my parents proved each other unfit?  Well, Dad's other wife said she'd take me and raise me.  I'd met her and Iris a few times and we always got along great.

Candy: I do remember your Dad was a bigamist.  What's the age difference with you and Iris? 

Dawn: Just a few months.  I met a little boy the other day who told me all about how he and his sister are the same age, but not twins, because they're both adopted.  

Candy: That had to be Bobby.  Were you at the greenhouse? 

Dawn: The day care.  We're opening up shop in the same building, just a floor above.  

Candy: I hope John rescued you before Bobby could tell you his life story. 

Dawn: He did.  Handsome fellow. 

Candy: Happily married fellow.  What kind of shop do you have?

Dawn: Tailoring by Halfsies.  Because we're half-sisters.  

****

At Doll County Correctional, Paris Malfoy meets with his lawyer. 

Andre: I'm afraid I don't have good news, Mr. Malfoy.  The case against you is solid.  

Paris: How?  They don't have the vehicle, any fingerprints or DNA, not even a witness. 

Andre: They have video.  Candy Pike was wearing a GoPro, and from the video they tracked the license plate and identified you as the driver.  I've had the video sent to an independent lab to see if it's been tampered with, but this does not bode well.  The car belongs to your daughter and was reported stolen years ago. 

Paris: Zenobia can't press charges against me.  I'm her father.  And there's plenty of men around who could be mistake for me in a blurry GoPro video. Hell, even the first victim's husband looks so much like me it's rumored that he's my bastard brother. 

Andre: Zenobia can and probably will testify against you.  It's entirely possible you'll be charged with car theft on top of everything else. James Potter has an alibi for all three incidents, and the video is very clear - Ms Pike is a professional photographer and uses top-of-the-line equipment.   Now, you can come clean with me and we can work out a defense, or I collect for the time I've wasted here and move on to my next case. 

*****

The Montez Contracting crew meets in the park for work.  They're installing playground equipment. 

Gabriella: I'm going to hit the restroom before we get started, Dad.  I'll meet you at the site. 

Joe: Okay.  (teasing) Don't be slacking off just because it's your last day on the job. 

Ryder: Why's it her last day on the job? 

Joe: Back to school tomorrow.  

Tate: Oh?  What's her major? 

Joe: Major?  She's in high school, she doesn't have a major. 

Ryder (amazed): High school?  She's underage? 

Tate: We though she was just petite. 

Joe (chuckles): I'm not sure if I should be complimented on my parenting or angry that you two were apparently lusting after my daughter.  She is very mature for her age, but yes, she's underage. Wait a few years before asking her out. 

Gabriella sprints across the park, shouting.  

Joe: What is it?  

Gabriella (panting): There's a car in the water, down behind the restrooms.  I think it's the one the cops are looking for.  Green SUV, right? 

A Reunion (Or Two)

 Sunburst.  Zenobia hurries in after her meeting with the lawyer. 

Iris: Casey, stop playing on your phone and eat.  

Casey: I'll have plenty of time to eat when Dawn gets here.  You two are gonna go blah-blah-blah til bedtime. 

Iris: We aren't going to be here that long.  We're going to the shop and make plans.  

Zenobia: Welcome to Sunburst!  I'm Zenobia.

Dawn: I'm looking for... oh, there she is.  (waves to Iris)  I'll just have some coffee, please.  

Zenobia: Cream and sugar? 

Dawn: No.  Just strong black coffee. 

Zenobia: It'll be a few minutes for the coffee.  I started a fresh pot.

Dawn: Excellent.  I'll also have this taco thing Iris is eating.  (Stops Zenobia when she moves away.) I hate to sound like some kind of stalker, but who is that woman over there?  In the wheelchair? She looks very familiar. 

Zenobia: That's Candy Pike.  She's a pretty well known photojournalist, so you've probably seen her work, but it's odd that... 

Dawn (excited): Was her maiden name Barr? And no, I'm not being a smartass.  I actually once knew a girl named Candy Barr. We were in a couple of foster homes together.

Zenobia: I believe it was.  I can ask her, she won't mind.  I'm friends with her sons. 

Dawn: Please do. My name's Dawn Lung. 

Zenobia: This is going to sound really weird. 

Candy (laughs): Most of the things you say are weird, Zenobia, but that's why I like you. What's up? 

Zenobia: The lady sitting with Iris Patrick?  She thinks you two were in a foster home together as kids.  Her name's Dawn Lung. 

Candy (thinks for a bit): There was a Dawn.  We ended up in the same home twice, once when I was ten or so and then when I was a teenager. (scrutinizes Dawn from across the room, then smiles broadly)  That is her!  

Candy:  It's me, Dawn!  (To Zenobia) Oh, I hate this wheelchair.  Help me get over there.  

Zenobia: I have to put in her order and get her coffee.  I'll ask if they mind you joining them. 

Candy: Oh, yeah, I guess I shouldn't just horn in on them. 

Arrest and Arrangements

 

Bertie: News on the Deadly Driver, who has killed two local women and injured another.  Paris Malfoy, husband of one of the victims, was arrested this morning at his home in The Tor.  Malfoy is head of the history department at Doll County Community College.  We take you live to Rebecca Weasley, live at Barbieville City Hall Complex. 

Becky:  I'm here with Barbieville Police Chief Becky Lynch, who made the arrest.  Chief Lynch, what led to this arrest?  What evidence to you have that Professor Malfoy committed the crimes in question? 

Lynch:  The third victim, who survived the attack, was wearing a portable sports camera.  She shared video footage with us that contained compelling information.   We obtained warrants not only for his arrest but for certain technology from the Malfoy home and office, from which we hope to determine a motive.  

Bertie: All reports are that the Malfoy family is cooperating with the investigation.  In other news, two events upcoming this summer promise better times.  A civilian committee is planning a Pride Event for later this month and The Grand Re-Opening of Witch's Cove, which will include a formal ball for some of the guests, is planned for Father's Day.  

****

Speaking of that civilian committee... 

Peeta: Hey, we're wearing the same shirt! 

Albus (chuckles): Great minds think alike. 

Ken: I can't believe nobody wanted to help you with this, Zenobia.  Peeta and I were just talking the other day about how so many get ridiculous for Pride events and all of us look bad.  I mean, that's why the town stopped sponsoring anything. 

Albus: Flaunting the differences only alienates the people we're trying to convince.  If we want to be seen as just like them, we need to behave with the same discretion they do.  

Candy (coming up behind Ken): It's not always about convincing anyone.  Sometimes it's just about embracing who you are.  Love is love, sure, but other people are just promiscuous.  Seriously, Albus, neither you or Zenobia has any intention of ever marrying.

Zenobia: She's got us there, Albus.  Pride's about way more than marriage rights and everyone here knows it.  A lot of the folks who go overboard for Pride aren't asking for acceptance, they're showing that they don't need or want acceptance.  (To Candy) And I told you that your help here might be a problem.  Conflict of interest or something.

Candy: Well, you can just claim my son was coming to tell you Windu Acres is planning to do carriage rides and a horse-baby petting zoo.  I tagged along because I'm getting cabin fever. 

Finnick:  All I know is that if I'm making out with Nakoma and Peeta's holding hands with Ken, people are gonna get offended at them and not us.  It's stupid.  And I did not know you told Mom that, Zenobia, or I wouldn't have brought her.  

Zenobia: Well, if there's a problem, we'll deal with it.  I've got too much stress in my life to create more by worrying.  You and your trouble-making mom are welcome to stay. 

Loose Ends Tied

 Zenobia goes to Windu Acres, hoping to speak with Rose-Grace, and is pleasantly surprised to meet Candy in the driveway. 

Zenobia: You're out of the hospital? Already? 

Candy: Oh, yeah.  My quick reflexes saved me from most major damage.  The knee's probably busted for life and I feel like a truck hit me, but otherwise... (laughs) Gee, I wonder why I feel like a truck hit me?  

Zenobia: I don't even know if I should be talking to you.  I think I'm a suspect. 

Candy: I think we're okay as long as we don't talk about the incident.  Are you looking for the boys?  Tanner's helping Mace and Finnick took the little ones to watch the parade.  They should be back soon, if you want to wait. 

Zenobia: I'm actually looking for Rose-Grace.  I need to talk to her about a project I was doing.  

Rose-Grace arrives as they're talking, on horseback.  She dismounts and starts removing the tack from Ka-Gae while they talk. 

Zenobia: I know I told you I'd put together something for Pride Week this year, but with everything going on...  

Rose-Grace: You've been working alone?  I thought you had a group working with you. 

Zenobia: Well, I don't.  I don't even get a chance to explain your definition of family-friendly before people yell about discrimination.  So I gave up looking for help and put something together on my own.

Candy: Sad to say, most of them yelling have a point.  My boys and their girlfriends get away with way more PDA than Ken and Peter do. 

Rose-Grace:  Peeta, not Peter.  (to Zenobia) Look, I know a festival for a marginalized community is best planned by that community, but use the allies you have.  You've got a lot of straight friends who totally support this.  Whole houseful of us right here. 

Candy: Hell, I'll sign up right now.  

Zenobia:  You can't.  A vehicle registered under my name ran over you, remember?  

Candy: Excuse me, young lady, but it only tried to run over me and failed miserably.

******

Across town:

Lynch: Helena was struck sometime that evening and not found until morning, and neither man can prove where they were for the entire night.  James Potter was at home with several witnesses when Charlie was hit, and with a patient when Candy was.  We have no idea where Paris Malfoy was either time.  Both mornings, he claims to have been in his office at the college, but no one saw him there.  

Carol: I think we should wait until we find the vehicle, have CSI go over it, and... 

Lynch: And get a few more of my citizens killed or injured?  No.  I'm bringing Malfoy in. 

Carol: You're going to regret it. 

Saturday at Windu Acres

 

Tanner is intent on the movie they're watching, but Whitney keeps stealing glances at him.  The things Esperanza has been saying are preying at her, even though she trusts Tanner completely.  She steels herself and makes her move.

Tanner: Hey, what are you doing?  Nothing inside the clothes, remember?

Whitney: Well, I've been thinking about that.  We aren't in high school anymore, you know.  We both want to and we've been together so long.

Tanner:  Wait, what?  Who the hell have you been talking to?

Whitney:  Esperanza says...

He pushes her away, gently, but she can tell he's angry.

Tanner: What's she been saying to you, to make you act so weird?  Well, weird-for-you. 

Whitney: Don't you ever get mad at me for making you wait?  I mean, you're a grown man and men... 

Tanner: Don't you dare say men have needs.  (Heavy sigh)  Whitney, I love you.  I think you've got good reasons for waiting.  Don't let anyone, even me, pressure you into it.  

Whitney: But most of my reasons are gone now.  We've graduated, you're working... 

Tanner: Back up a bit.  What has Esperanza been saying about this?  

*****

Taylor:  When you get to High School avoid taking his class.  

Nikki: It's a required class and he's the only teacher for it.  I kinda have no choice.  Besides, all he did was say some mean stuff.  I can ignore that. 

Taylor: It's different from a teacher, and I think he's grading my work unfairly.  I had almost word-for-word the same answers as Alex and she got a way higher grade. 

Candy: Let me guess.  Severus Snape? 

Taylor: You just stroll in like you own the place.  

Candy: I gave birth to about half the residents, so I can do that.  

Nikki: I wonder if he's a racist. 

Candy: He just assumes kids of privilege are going to expect special treatment. When the boys had his class, it was a constant stream of "Your dad married the mayor, that doesn't make you special".  It got so stupid, Pike had me going to conferences with that guy even though I'm not the custodial parent. 

Taylor: Oh, yeah, I remember that now.  Maybe he got bullied in school and now he takes it out on us.

Candy: As if that's an excuse. 

*****

One look at his twin tells Finnick volumes.  

Finnick: Kids, maybe you should wait to watch the movie... 

Stacie: No way!  You promised! 

Anakin: I've only got a couple of hours til I have to go home.

Tanner (grumbling):  It's okay.  Instead of little sister getting lost this time, I guess the big brothers can.  But you're coming with me, Fin.  I got some bitching to do. 

Finnick lets Tanner tells the entire story.  Esperanza's accusations that he's not really with Mace, the constant comparisons to other couples (including Finnick and Nakoma), even comments about Wilma. 

Finnick: Okay, first off, Wilma's beside the point.  You don't want what Wilma's father had because that was messed up.  When you're with Grandpa, you're at work.   Would she be saying that if you still worked at the Cove? 

Tanner: Probably.  You and Nakoma would be helping me cheat on Whitney. 

Finnick: So basically, Esperanza is convincing Whitney that unless y'all have sex, you're going to spilt. (chuckles) Isn't pressuring the girlfriend into sex the boyfriend's job?  

Tanner: I told Whitney it didn't hurt Four and Tris any to wait for marriage.  We can do the same if she wants.  She's terrified of getting pregnant again when she still lives with her mom. 

Finnick: Esperanza's got a problem.  Nakoma had to tell her off because she was always asking stuff like that about us.  Someone should teach her a lesson. 

Tanner: You up for some patented Pike Twins Shenanigans?