Kids These Days

 Snape and Diana, moving her into her new home, take a lunch break.

Whitney: Well, hello, Mr. Snape.  How have you been? 

Snape: Quite well.  Have you met my sister?  Diana, this is a former student of mine, Whitney Darling.  I imagine she's a student of yours now.  

Whitney: Oh, you must be the new History instructor.  

Diana: Yes, I am.  

Whitney:  I guess I'll see you this evening, then.  I'm in the eight o'clock class. 

Snape: Whitney's an excellent student.  (to Whitney) Have you decided on a major? 

Whitney: Not yet.  My father wants me to go into broadcasting, my boyfriend's aunt wants me in paleontology, my daughter wants me to be a doctor... 

Snape: No pressure from Tanner to go into animal husbandry? (To Diana) Whitney is dating the heir apparent of Windu Acres.  Rose-Grace's stepson. 

Whitney: I should have a career of my own, so I can take care of myself if...  you know, if anything happens. 

William: You flirt with men old enough to be your father?  

Whitney: He's a teacher at the high school.  And what you call flirting is part of my job description.

William: When are you coming into the studio?  

Whitney: I'm not.  I told you, broadcasting doesn't interest me. 

Charlotte: You should treat your father with more respect.  

Whitney: I don't believe politely declining a job offer is disrespectful, Mrs. Jackson.  

Charlotte (to William): My own children are disrespectful as well.  They rarely check in on me or their father, who is hospitalized.  Our generation -- 

William: This is a business lunch.  I prefer not to discuss personal matters. 

Charlotte: I understand.  Since Rayshawn is running late, I suppose I could summarize for you what we have in mind. 

*** 

Whitney rushes to class after work. 

Nakoma: There you are!  I was getting worried. 

Whitney: I met our new prof today.  She's Snape's sister.

Nakoma: Oh, dear.  I hope she's nicer than him.  

Esperanza: Who's Snape?  Your ex?

Nakoma: Chemistry teacher at the high school.  I don't have an ex. 

Ken: Did you hear that?  We're getting a female Snape!  

Frodo: Chill, man.  Mom met her when she was enrolling her little boy at school.  Mom said she's really nice.  Great sense of humor. 

Ken: She must have gotten all the sense of humor genes in the family.  

For The Children Part Two

 At Sulu's Greenhouse 

Mattie: What happened at the lawyer's?  We all but ran home from school.  Almost forgot to get DD from the daycare, even!  

Bobby:  Is it a brother for me?!  Is it?! 

Sulu: I told Lynch she shouldn't make you go to school today, that you'd be too excited. (dramatic pause)  We're adopting a boy about Anakin's age.  His name is Rayford.  Bobby, he'll have to share your room, but I think you're close enough in age for that to work. 

Vivica: Me and Mattie could share.  Mattie even said it's okay. 

Sulu: You'll share with DD once she starts sleeping through the night.  No need to cram three people in one room.

Bobby: YAY I gots a new brother! 

Vivica: He's my new brother, too, you poopy head! 

Bobby: You already gots a brother - me! 

****

At The Tor, Charlotte and Batgirl are relaxing on the penthouse balcony.  Batgirl is telling her sister about a new cashier at the grocery when Charlotte's phone goes off.

Charlotte: I don't believe it!  Kayden agreed! 

Batgirl: He's giving you custody? 

Charlotte: Oh, no, I made an offer I thought he'd never accept.  My children can't get their money until they are 21 if I relinquish custody.  Well, if Billy passes away before then, you know.  I thought for sure he'd decline and my lawyer could use that against him as we went forward. 

Batgirl: I guess he does have motives besides the money.  

Charlotte: He's going to brainwash them and get the money then.

Batgirl: I know you were never particularly maternal and you only had them for Billy's sake, but you're so... distant.  With the internet and telephones, there's no reason you can't be part of their lives even from here. 

Charlotte: I don't know how to deal with kids.  You've seen me with yours. 

Batgirl: I can help you with that.  Just sign custody over and follow my advice.  By the time they're grown, Mary-Kate and Max will at least like you.  You don't want to end up like our mom, do you? 

Charlotte (angry): Don't you dare compare me to her.  She deserved everything she got.  Or didn't get. 

*****

Airport, somewhere west of Barbieville.

Malachi: Are you waiting for the Barbieville plane?  Me and my mommy are going to live there.

Rafe:  Yeah, I'm getting adopted by a family there. Do you know anyone there? 

Malachi: Just my grandparents and my uncle.  Are you an orphan?

Rafe (reading from his tablet):  Not no more.  I've got a new dad, a new mom, a brother, and three sisters. 

Malachi: Mommy!  This boy is going to live in our town!  Can he sit with us on the airplane? 

Diana: The plane has assigned seats, but maybe someone will trade if you ask nicely.  

Malachi: He said his new family is named Sulu.  Do we know anybody named Sulu? 

Diana (to Rafe): Adoption? (He nods) That's probably Hikaru - I can't imagine the parents adopting at their age.  They have to be in their sixties by now, if not older.  As I recall, they are very nice people.  

Malachi: Rafe's mommy and daddy went to heaven, just like my daddy, so he had to go live in the orphanage til somebody bought him. I'm happy this guy did, cause now I'm gonna have a friend as soon as we get there. 

Rafe: That's not really how it works, but I'm happy, too.  (winks at Diana) It sucks at the orphanage. 

Note to readers: Charlotte's kids live on Facebook page Our Toy Story - album Nearly Famous 

For The Children

Jimin starts his work day with checking e-mails, but it isn't long before his appointments start arriving.  

Jimin:  I have good news.  We have a prospect for you.  Take a look at the file and see what you think.

Lynch: A boy?!  Bobby will be thrilled.

Sulu (reading from the file):  We specified children of Asian heritage. It's nice to have the kid at least kind of look like us.  People can be so rude.  This boy is, what, Cheyenne?  Sioux?  

Jimin: He's Vietnamese by blood, but his parents taught at the reservation school.  

Lynch (to Sulu): Let me see that file.  

*****

Jimin barely gets the calls made from the Sulu case when his next client comes in.

Charlotte: You aren't going to believe this.  Kayden had extensive plastic surgery, for no apparent reason, and I'm pretty sure he dipped into Mary and Max's money to do it.  You have got to speed this up.  It's taken so long already.

Jimin: Mrs. Jackson, I've told you, none of the money belongs to any of your children or stepchildren.  Their father is still alive and the money is still tied up in his businesses. The only personal use money coming from Billy Senior is your personal allowance.  

Jimin: I sent our proposal to their lawyer - Kayden can have custody as long as, in the event of their father's death, the share of the inheritance intended for Mary goes into trust until Mary's twenty-first birthday.  Same deal with Max's share.

Charlotte: Kayden will never agree to that.  He only wants them for their money.  And to spite me.

Jimin: We will deal with his refusal when it happens.

*****

Before Jimin realizes the time, his lunch date arrives.

Bonnie: Don't tell me.  The Jackson case? 

Jimin: She's such a nightmare.  (glares at the fax machine) I'm still waiting for a response, but apparently her stepson has to discuss everything at length with his brothers before telling the lawyer what to do. 

Bonnie: How many brothers are there?

Jimin: The old man had two sons and adopted hers, so three adult.  The minors they're fighting over came along after the marriage.  Older boys think she married the guy for his money, but she seems genuinely fond of him.  

Bonnie:  Both sides think the other is after the kids' share of the money?  And Dad is still alive.

Jimin: If you want to call that living.  Poor dude is in a coma. 

*Charlotte's children live in the Facebook Page "Our Toy Story".  Album name is Nearly Famous.*

Everyone's Talking About Phoebe

 The management of Witch's Cove and Doll County Paranormal finally meet about the postponed investigation.  

Jeremiah: Of course, any current employee of the amusement park that is also on my team will not be a part of the on-site work.  That's to protect everyone involved from accusations of staging.  Phoebe did do the research into the history of the park, collection of lore, but she will not be here for the active investigation.

Pocahontas: I'm curious about how this actually works.  I've watched the TV shows, of course, but they seem to skip a lot of detail work.  Fill me in. 

Jeremiah: I'm sending you a detailed list of our techniques, but I can give you an overview.  For one thing, we use scientific methods to do this.  No spirit boards or seances - those are largely for show and very hard to analyze the results of.  The closest we come to any of those things is the use of a medium.  

Pocahontas: That was my next question.  Your medium is a child? 

Jeremiah: My daughter Lottie.  Her gift is what got me into all this in the first place.  Now, let me qualify this by saying she doesn't actually talk to the spirits or get possessed or any of those kind of things.  Her great-grandmother explained it to me as seeing a silent movie, except it's based on feelings instead of actually seeing anything.

Pocahontas: Kind of like how you can sense a person in the room without seeing or hearing them?

Jeremiah: That's a good comparison.  One very important aspect of our method is that no one on my active investigation team will know what Phoebe's research turned up.  That way we know our observations aren't tainted.  We compare all that after the fact.

Pocahontas:  I noticed that on one of those shows - they got an EVP that they decided was "he killed me" when it sounded to me like it said "leaking".  

Jeremiah: Exactly.  They probably knew it was a murder site, and were expecting it.  We go in without expectations.  

*******

A few miles away, at Barbieville Middle School.

Guinness: Since we've finished with this unit early, I'll give you the rest of the class time to study or talk quietly.  We'll have the unit test tomorrow. 

He ignores the quiet scraping of desks being pushed closer.

Courtney: Any drama at your house this weekend?  We just had the usual with Charlotte.

Wendy: Whitney and Dad got into a big screaming match.  He's still after her to come work at the station and she doesn't want to.  Even if he hadn't been such a jerk when she had Wilma, Whitney just doesn't have an interest in broadcasting.  

Courtney: I understand he's mad at her for getting pregnant so young, but really, Whitney's a grown woman now.  And he had nothing to do with her or Wilma for years. 

Wendy: He's still got nothing to do with Wilma.  I wish he'd just go back in the hole he crawled out of. 

Ginny: That brother of yours ever gonna ask Becky out?  

Claudia: I wish he'd date somebody.  He spends way too much time parenting me!  He works, and goes to those Kin As Parents meetings, and that's it.  I mean, I get that he wants to take care of me, but he acts like I'm six.  

Nikki: I thought he was still hung up on Phoebe?  That him and Becky are just friends? 

Ginny: I told Becky to ask him out, but she's like Nikki.  Thinks he wants Phoebe back. 

Claudia: Becky, Phoebe, I don't even care at this point.  I just want him to find someone else to hover over.