Everyone's Talking About Phoebe

 The management of Witch's Cove and Doll County Paranormal finally meet about the postponed investigation.  

Jeremiah: Of course, any current employee of the amusement park that is also on my team will not be a part of the on-site work.  That's to protect everyone involved from accusations of staging.  Phoebe did do the research into the history of the park, collection of lore, but she will not be here for the active investigation.

Pocahontas: I'm curious about how this actually works.  I've watched the TV shows, of course, but they seem to skip a lot of detail work.  Fill me in. 

Jeremiah: I'm sending you a detailed list of our techniques, but I can give you an overview.  For one thing, we use scientific methods to do this.  No spirit boards or seances - those are largely for show and very hard to analyze the results of.  The closest we come to any of those things is the use of a medium.  

Pocahontas: That was my next question.  Your medium is a child? 

Jeremiah: My daughter Lottie.  Her gift is what got me into all this in the first place.  Now, let me qualify this by saying she doesn't actually talk to the spirits or get possessed or any of those kind of things.  Her great-grandmother explained it to me as seeing a silent movie, except it's based on feelings instead of actually seeing anything.

Pocahontas: Kind of like how you can sense a person in the room without seeing or hearing them?

Jeremiah: That's a good comparison.  One very important aspect of our method is that no one on my active investigation team will know what Phoebe's research turned up.  That way we know our observations aren't tainted.  We compare all that after the fact.

Pocahontas:  I noticed that on one of those shows - they got an EVP that they decided was "he killed me" when it sounded to me like it said "leaking".  

Jeremiah: Exactly.  They probably knew it was a murder site, and were expecting it.  We go in without expectations.  

*******

A few miles away, at Barbieville Middle School.

Guinness: Since we've finished with this unit early, I'll give you the rest of the class time to study or talk quietly.  We'll have the unit test tomorrow. 

He ignores the quiet scraping of desks being pushed closer.

Courtney: Any drama at your house this weekend?  We just had the usual with Charlotte.

Wendy: Whitney and Dad got into a big screaming match.  He's still after her to come work at the station and she doesn't want to.  Even if he hadn't been such a jerk when she had Wilma, Whitney just doesn't have an interest in broadcasting.  

Courtney: I understand he's mad at her for getting pregnant so young, but really, Whitney's a grown woman now.  And he had nothing to do with her or Wilma for years. 

Wendy: He's still got nothing to do with Wilma.  I wish he'd just go back in the hole he crawled out of. 

Ginny: That brother of yours ever gonna ask Becky out?  

Claudia: I wish he'd date somebody.  He spends way too much time parenting me!  He works, and goes to those Kin As Parents meetings, and that's it.  I mean, I get that he wants to take care of me, but he acts like I'm six.  

Nikki: I thought he was still hung up on Phoebe?  That him and Becky are just friends? 

Ginny: I told Becky to ask him out, but she's like Nikki.  Thinks he wants Phoebe back. 

Claudia: Becky, Phoebe, I don't even care at this point.  I just want him to find someone else to hover over. 

Let The Carnage Begin

WARNING: DOLL CARNAGE AND NUDITY AHEAD

TURN BACK NOW OR SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE

I've had my eye on these gals for a while.  For the articulation, frankly, but more on that in a bit.  This is my COVID-19 splurge.  The rest is going to bills, I swear!  Okay, most of the rest...

The single pack Comfy Princesses do not have knees.  Not even click knees.  So I had to buy the double packs, which gave me a couple of extra gals.  

Most Disney Princess dolls suffer from a severe case of Vapid Face, so my intent from the start was to do some head-swapping.  I bought three princesses of color for the best match to Nikki, Courtney, and Gabriella.  I hoped the extras would match Wendy and Alex.  

Skin tone match isn't perfect, since the noggins are Mattel and the bodies are Hasbro, but I can work with it.

Here Nikki and her body donor compare how well they can hold a phone.  Neither can put it to her face, but at least Tiana can FaceTime.  Whoever Nikki is talking to is looking over there!

Nikki only has click knees, which is an improvement over no knees at all.  But only a slight one.

No, this isn't cannibalism.  

Boiling water softens the heads so they can be easily removed and minimizes the chances of neck pegs breakage.  We don't want the pegs stuck in there because then the new peg might be too big.  Wendy and Alex were already off their bodies.

I'm not so nice to the noggins I don't plan to keep.  This way the neck pegs are intact and not even bent.  You'll notice only four heads when I said I was rebodying five gals.  The Alex head didn't match any of the skin tones at all.

So I'm just going to recast her with one of these two.  Comparing them to Alex's father and sister, Aurora seems to fit in best.  (I guess my dark-haired Alex is gonna get a makeover.)  Not sure yet who Rapunzel will end up being.    

UPDATE: Alex will be the fashionista with the green mohawk on whichever body matches best.  There was an issue with my delivery and Amazon gave me a credit on my account, as an apology.  I chose to get a different noggin for Alex!  Neither of these big-eyed blondes were Alex for me. 

And here they are!  

Wendy Darling, Courtney Montez, Gabriella Montez, and Nikki Pike 

Debuting working elbows and improved knees!

They do have a slight case of bobble-head but that's all right.  

Jeremiah, the younger Eaton boys, and most of the children are jealous.  

They don't even have click knees.

That will be my next project.

So Long, Sister

Much to Brent's relief, Kyra's family gets along well with his sister's.  Now he can feel comfortable in taking things to the next level.  On the last day of the visit, they take in the sights of Washington DC.

Kyra: Make sure you can see the Memorial behind us.  It's not often my girls and I get a vacation.  I want photographic evidence it happened.

Brent: Is this really necessary?  You know I hate having my picture taken. 

Kyra: Surely you don't want me to gripe all the way home?

Bertie:  Oh my god!  Delete that!  I look like I have no neck! 

Daisy: You know that shirt does that and wore it anyway.  Suck it up, Buttercup. 

Bertie: Seriously, Daze, I look ridiculous.

Daisy: Siblings shot!  Me and my bro!

Brent: You know, I just wanted  a picture of the Washington Monument.  

Daisy: As seldom as I get to see you?  Did you really think I wasn't going to insist on pictures? 

Whitney: Wilma, where are your shoes?

Wilma: Brent gots them.  We was sticking my toes in the water so the fishies could nibble them.  It tickles, Mommy, you should do it with me. 

As night falls, they pack up The Tank and prepare for the journey home. 

Daisy: Let me know when you get home safely. I don't care what time it is. 

Wilma: Bye bye, new aunties! 

As soon as her brother is out of sight, Daisy bursts into tears. 

Esper: Here come the waterworks.

Bertie: Behave.  You know how much Brent means to her.  When the rest of the family turned their backs on her, he... 

Esper:... turned his back on them.  (To Daisy)  Hey, think of it this way.  If things go well, we might be going to his wedding soon.  

Daisy: She is a wonderful lady, isn't she? I haven't seen him this happy in, well, ever!

Brent: Wendy, turn the stereo down a notch.  I want Nakoma well rested when it's time to switch drivers. 

Wendy (does so):  I think your sister is very cool.  Your parents must be real jerks.  

Brent: They are. 

Kyra: I really can't imagine disowning my child.  (Winks at Whitney) Even if she did have a baby when she was still one herself.

Whitney: Speaking of Wilma, where is she?

Wilma (shouting from the rear sleeping area): I'm taken a nap with Nakoma.  Them new aunties done weared me out.

Meet The Sister

Somewhere between Barbieville and their destination....

Brent: Next rest area, I'll turn the wheel over to you, Nakoma.  Road's starting to hypnotize me.

Nakoma: Even with Kyra talking to you, you've already driven farther than you should have.  I was about to suggest the switch.

Kyra: We're more than halfway there, according to the GPS on my phone.

Eventually, after what feels like forever....

Nakoma: Here we are, folks.  Juniper Hill Campground and RV Court.  

Kyra: Wilma, get out of the way.  Brent and Nakoma are trying to set up the tent.

Wilma: I'm helping!  Why we got the tent anyway?  Lots of beds inside.

Brent: There's five beds and six of us. I'll take the tent since I'm the only boy.  And mind your grandmother.  

Wilma: Boo.  I wanna be a helper.

Whitney: You can help once this hot dog is in your belly.  

Wilma: Mommy said you gotta hold on real tight while we look for your sissy.  

Brent: I will.  Daisy will be in either a red truck or a dark colored car.  Probably the car, since it's hard to cram three grown ups in a truck cab. 

Wilma: Esper ain't no grown-up.

Brent (chuckles): She's as grown-up as your mommy.  

Wilma: Oh, she's that big?  I thought a kid like me or Wendy.  

Brent: Well, your mommy is technically a kid, you know.

Wilma (nearly jumping out of his arms): Car!  Is that them?  Someone is waving real big and crazy.

Brent: That's them.  

Whitney: I'm here to help you down the ladder, Wilma.  

Wilma: I can do it all by myself, Mommy! 

Whitney: I'm here to catch you if you slip.  Is that better, Miss Fussy Britches?

Brent runs to greet Daisy with a big hug.  

Daisy: Wow.  You brought a whole family of hotties.  

Brent: I told you Kyra and her girls were lovely. 

Daisy: Your taste has always been questionable.  (sticks her tongue out at him)  Even that Naomi girl is pretty.  No, not Naomi.  What is it?

After introductions, the party splits into smaller groups.  

Bertie: Brent says you met when he ran against your boss for mayor? 

Kyra: Technically, she's not my boss, the town is.  But she is my best friend.

Daisy (laughs): Oh, that's not awkward at all.

Brent:  Rose-Grace doesn't hold it against me.  In fact, she was impressed that I didn't make the race personal.  This was her third election and last time two people went up against her. Both ran smear campaigns. 

Daisy: We met at my work.  Bertie stops in every morning for coffee and an apple turnover.

Kyra: Whitney's a waitress, too. 

Daisy: It's a gas station.  Hasn't Brent told you anything about us?

Brent: Not about your professional life.

Daisy (to Brent): You're fired.  This woman doesn't even know she's in presence of celebrities.

Brent: Sorry, I don't think of you in term of your jobs.  (To Kyra) Bertie is the anchor for the local news and Esper has had a few roles in musicals.  

Esper: You guys are dating twins?  Are they identical?

Whitney: Yes, identical twins.  Usually we can tell them apart.  Mine is surlier than hers.

Nakoma: Surlier?  Is that even a word? 

Esper: Most of the guys I know are gay.  That stereotype about theatre guys?  Almost totally true.

Whitney:  You do theatre?

Esper (shouts down to Brent):  You're fired!

After a long visit, everyone decides to give Brent and Kyra some private time.  Bertie and Daisy take the two youngest for a hike.  The older teens join them for a bit, but eventually wander off. 

Wilma: Help! I climb-did up here and now I'm stuck! 

Daisy: You aren't very high up - just drop and I can catch you.

Wendy (annoyed): She does this all the time.  

Bertie: For the love of God, don't drop that baby! 

Wilma (indignant): I'm not a baby!  Babies wear dipes!

That evening, Esper posts a selfie on her social media.  She couldn't post it when she took it because there was no signal out there! 

BMS Holiday Concert

Barbieville Middle School is having a Holiday Concert.  Pike and Mace bring Nikki and Taylor early, leaving Rose-Grace to herd the rest of the family.  Well, her and Candy...  

Mace: You brought the tank?  And where is your coat? 

Rose-Grace: You try to herd two teenage boys, two grown women, two children, and two babies into an SUV.  And I don't need a coat to walk from here to the school entrance.  

Mace: At least tell me it's in the tank in case you broke down or something.

Rose-Grace (annoyed): There are sleeping bags in the tank, remember?  

Esmeralda:  I do not envy you with that brood.  Ricky alone had me pulling my hair out!  

Four: Weren't you just saying you wished you had a daughter?

Esmeralda:  I do sometimes feel like I'm drowning in testosterone.  

Rose-Grace: Seeing girls through puberty isn't any easier.  That know-it-all stage?  Genderless.  

Esmeralda: Well, at least I've been through girl puberty.

Finnick:  Grandpa, what are you wearing?  

Mace: Fun.  Fun is what I'm wearing. 

Finnick: Dear God.  And my girlfriend is here.  Nakoma's actually going to see you. 

Ben: Thanks for saving me a seat, Mr. Montez.  

Joe: I keep telling you to call me Joe. 

Jenny: Mommy said you didn't never get to see Claudia sing before?  What kind of meanie bosses did you used to have?  

Ben: Sometimes bosses have to be mean.  Like tonight, it's mean to make your mommy work, right?  

Jenny: Well, that's because your boss's boss was a meanie and wouldn't let you close the store. 

Whitney: You know this entire mob is going to the diner afterwords.

Kyra: No.  I promised Wendy tonight was all about her.  She's feeling threatened by my relationship with Brent.  You don't get it because you had to grow up so much faster than she did.

Whitney: But if they need me...

Kyra: Whitney, do not make me be the bad guy here.  Just one night, okay?  

Nakoma: Hey, you made it.  Where's Anakin?

Pocahontas: At the Smith's.  

Nakoma: You're letting John babysit?  Where's my real sister?

Pocahontas: I'm letting Anakin spend the evening at his friend Roxy's house.  My history with Roxy's father has nothing to do with it.  

Taylor:  I'm so nervous!  What if a big Hollywood agent is in the audience?

Gabriella: What if Godzilla attacks during Jingle Bells? 

Taylor (laughing): You're such a brat.  

Claudia: It sucks that your mom had to miss the concert, Courtney.  Even Nikki's grandpa and kind of step mom managed to make it.

Courtney: No big deal, really.  She's been to every school thing for us.  Ben's lucky if he can make teacher conferences.

Nikki: Dad's on call just in case. 

Ricky: I still can't believe you didn't have my back when I said this concert was against our religion.

Kevin: I can't believe you're such a crybaby.  And a liar to boot!  

Ricky: He doesn't go to our church.  He wouldn't know.  

Wendy: Kevin did it last year.  I'm pretty sure the school knows what religion you guys are.  Or aren't.

Kevin: Exactly.  Thank you, Miss Darling.

Wendy (giggles): You're welcome, Mr. Eaton.  

Ricky: Whatever.  Why isn't your mom's boyfriend here tonight?  Did you get rid of him?

Wendy: He's at his sister's for Christmas.  (To Kevin)  He sent me a bunch of flowers tonight.  Wasn't that nice?  Especially after I've been so hateful to him.

Guinness leads the choir from the classroom to backstage.  Once he's sure they're all accounted for, he goes onstage and gets every one's attention.  

The eighth graders perform three songs:  Jingle Bells, Winter Wonderland, and The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.

The seventh graders sing Let It Snow, Sleigh Ride, and I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.

The entire ensemble then sings The Holly and The Ivy.  Those who do not wish to sing the religious verses are not required to do so.  Samantha, who is Jewish, then leads the rest in The Dreidel Song.  

Story 14: Lessons Learned

Mr. Guinness addresses the seventh graders before they make their presentations.

Guinness: Today we're finishing with the section on the Great American Melting Pot.  Your assignment was to bring us your family's personal stories that relate to the topic.  My own story is a fairly simple one - I was born and raised in the United Kingdom, moved here because I had a splendid scholarship from an American university, and met my wife there.  

Wendy: My mom says we're good old American mutts.  Most of my heritage is European, but it's all mixed up.  The best way I can think of to explain the Melting Pot is to just look around.  Even just here in Barbieville, we've got so many different kinds of people.  My house is a Swiss chalet, our car is Italian, and my favorite food is Chinese.

Ricky:  I like that term, American Mutt.  That's what my dad is, but my mom's family came here in the 1940s because of Hitler.  Technically, I guess we're Romany or Rom, but most people know us as Gypsies.  My grandparents travel and take manual labor jobs, like the old days, but they do it in a camper instead of the little wagons we see in movies.  

Claudia: My grandparents on Mom's side are super traditional.  They got mad at my parents for not giving us Japanese names, even. But they're first generation Americans.  Dad's side of the family was in one of FDR's camps during World War 2, even though two of the sons were in the service.  I'd call that a Melting Pot Fail!  

Courtney:  A lot of people think we're Hispanic because our name is Montez.  We aren't.  Dad is a Navajo and Mom's a white girl of mostly Irish heritage.  Dad's not real traditional, though.  His family left the Southwest back in the 1950s as part of a government program.  I think that was one of the last-ditch efforts to do away with tribal governments.  

Claudia: Another Melting Pot Fail.

Courtney: The Melting Pot is an ideal and people fall short of ideals all the time.  Dad says we should work for a better future instead of dwelling on the past. 

Nikki: Speaking of Melting Pot Fails...  my ancestors were slaves.  My father's people were part of a famous slave uprising in Haiti, even.  My house is a kind of melting pot, though.  My step family are white and the new twins are biracial.  

Skipper:  Wow.  I just realized that me and Wendy are way outnumbered.  People talk like most Americans are white, but look at us.  Us pure white girls aren't even half the class!  (Stops for a moment)  I didn't mean that the way it sounded.  I just never realized how melted our pot is, if you know what I mean.  Even me and Wendy are a mix of different European groups.

Guinness: You just summed up the lesson for me, Miss Roberts.  This nation was never meant to be anything but a cultural stew.  

While the presentations are being made in her daughter's class, Rose-Grace meets with Pocahontas.

Pocahontas: If you look at old maps of the town, the area of the park was called Witch's Cove.  Mom didn't want people to think it was only open in October, so she called the park Nedakh's Amusement Park.  

Rose-Grace: She was a simple woman.  You're thinking of changing it to Witch's Cove?  What about backlash from people who find that offensive? 

Pocahontas:  Believe me, I've thought of that. (laughs) I've seen the fuss over sports teams called Redskins.  I've got people working on that, playing up the historical aspect and even my own paganism.  I'm aiming for minimal backlash. 

Rose-Grace's reply is interrupted by a knock at the door.

Marcus:  Sorry to barge in on you like this, but my wife has been up to some shenanigans.  You need to hear about this. 

Pocahontas: Sounds urgent.  I'll go now and file the paperwork we were discussing.

Esmeralda: No, you want to hear this, too.  

Two hours and several phone calls later: 

PJ: Do you have any idea what this is all about? 

John: Judging by who is here, my guess is Keep Barbieville Virtuous.  But the mayor's office wasn't acting on that, so I'm as confused as you are.  Who are the girls talking to Esmeralda?

Rose-Grace gets every one's attention and introduces Clara and Becky.

Clara: I'm a political science major and Becky is a journalism major.  We recently conducted a project you might recognize as Keep Barbieville Virtuous.  It was meant to show how easily public opinion can be swayed, usually by things unrelated to the issue at hand. 

Becky:  We didn't realize we were hurting anyone.  Stupid, I know, considering the entire point of the project.  Of course people were going to be hurt.  We speculated about things that we should not have, things that cost some of you professionally.  And maybe personally.

Clara: We've sent a statement to the local media outlets, refuting all the allegations and apologizing for any harm done.  We're hoping this sets things straight. We did not expect the campaign to be as successful as it was.

Becky and Clara hang their heads, ashamed of themselves, as the group grumbles its way out.  They wait a few minutes for the halls to clear before leaving.

Rose-Grace: So you were Brent's contact, Esmeralda?  You tracked them down using questionable methods and bullied them into confession? 

Esmeralda: Damn straight.  

Rose-Grace:  Marcus, did you know anything about this?

Marcus (laughs):  No, I didn't, but I'm not really surprised.  Esmeralda sees something that needs dealt with, she deals with it. 

Esmeralda: Violet can press charges against me for snooping in her files.  I honestly don't care.  

Rose-Grace:  You'll care if your boys have to visit you in jail. 

Esmeralda: They'd be proud to visit me in jail.  (To Marcus) Wouldn't they? 

Marcus: Despite my best efforts to make them follow the rules, yes, they would.