From The Past

Gabriella's discovery of a submerged SUV in the waters of Witch's Cove Inlet, the connection to Muneca Lake for the town's many small streams, has brought Lynch and Carol to the park. 

Gabriella: I just caught a glimpse of something odd from the corner of my eye.  Had to use my phone's camera and zoom in to tell what it was.  But I didn't take a picture.  I ran back over here to tell Dad. 

Lynch: You were on your way to the restroom? 

Carol:  I didn't know you could see down into the inlet from this side. 

Gabriella: Usually, you can't, but part of the underbrush is all smashed down.  I think that's what I noticed.  I did go back over there, to use the restroom, while we were waiting for you to arrive.  I had to go pretty bad. 

Lynch: I'll make a note of that.  (To Carol)  They keep the underbrush thick to keep people from going over the edge, either by accident or on purpose.  Amusement park is an easy swim across from here, if you can get to the water.  

Carol: An SUV driving through, especially at speed, would crush the undergrowth.  We should have CSI check for tire tracks from the parking area.  

Ryder: Man, Tate, you just keep running into those good looking cop ladies.  If this was a chick flick, it'd be a sure sign of... 

Tate: You watch chick flicks? 

Ryder: I live with three sisters, two of which are teenagers.   Who do you prefer?  The cop or the fed? 

Joe: The cop is happily married with three kids.  

Ryder: I guess it's the fed, then. 

Joe (rolls his eyes):  And they say women are chatty.  Y'all talk more in an hour than any female employee I've ever had did in a day.  

Tate: With my luck, if I find a lady, she'll be buried under 50 years worth of newspapers in my uncle's attic or basement.  (To Joe)  It's all him, man.  I swear. 

****

At Windu Acres, Candy catches Pike up on her recent reunion with Dawn Lung. 

Pike: I think I remember her now.  The girl I called your little sister?  Her dad got busted for bigamy and her parents both sucked so bad she ended up in the system?

Candy: Right.  When wife number two found out Dawn was going in and out of foster care, she stepped up.  Figured Dawn was her daughter's sister, so they should be together.  Funny she ended up here, too, isn't it?  

Pike: That's just how cool Barbieville is.  What's Dawn doing these days? 

Candy: She and her sister have a business called Tailoring by Halfsies. 

Finnick: Hey, you should see if she can give Taylor a job.  She's recently rediscovered how much she loves sewing.  Has Grammy's machine set up in her room and everything. 

Candy: I could ask her.  But I think we should talk to Taylor and Rose-Grace first. 

Finnick: Step-Mom just pulled in.  I heard her car. 

Rose-Grace (on phone): Excellent.  Keep me updated,  Lynch.  I want this nightmare over. 

Pike: Hey, when you're -- 

Rose-Grace: Honey, you know it take me a while to switch from Mayor Mode.  Do you need Wife Mode or Mom Mode?  

Pike: Since it relates to Taylor, definitely Mom Mode. 

 

Meanwhile...

 Candy and Dawn meet at Sunburst to catch up on the last few years.  

Dawn: These are all your kids?  You've been busy. 

Candy(laughs): No, the big twins, the girl in camo, and the little boy are mine.  The other two girls are Pike's stepdaughters and the babies are his with Rose-Grace.  

Dawn: So your ex is married to the mayor?  Do you two get along?  There's no bad blood?

Candy: We had a amicable divorce.  He wanted to put down roots, I didn't.  We do a pretty good job of co-parenting - none of that playing the kids against each other crap.  

Dawn: You know I was in and out of the system because my parents proved each other unfit?  Well, Dad's other wife said she'd take me and raise me.  I'd met her and Iris a few times and we always got along great.

Candy: I do remember your Dad was a bigamist.  What's the age difference with you and Iris? 

Dawn: Just a few months.  I met a little boy the other day who told me all about how he and his sister are the same age, but not twins, because they're both adopted.  

Candy: That had to be Bobby.  Were you at the greenhouse? 

Dawn: The day care.  We're opening up shop in the same building, just a floor above.  

Candy: I hope John rescued you before Bobby could tell you his life story. 

Dawn: He did.  Handsome fellow. 

Candy: Happily married fellow.  What kind of shop do you have?

Dawn: Tailoring by Halfsies.  Because we're half-sisters.  

****

At Doll County Correctional, Paris Malfoy meets with his lawyer. 

Andre: I'm afraid I don't have good news, Mr. Malfoy.  The case against you is solid.  

Paris: How?  They don't have the vehicle, any fingerprints or DNA, not even a witness. 

Andre: They have video.  Candy Pike was wearing a GoPro, and from the video they tracked the license plate and identified you as the driver.  I've had the video sent to an independent lab to see if it's been tampered with, but this does not bode well.  The car belongs to your daughter and was reported stolen years ago. 

Paris: Zenobia can't press charges against me.  I'm her father.  And there's plenty of men around who could be mistake for me in a blurry GoPro video. Hell, even the first victim's husband looks so much like me it's rumored that he's my bastard brother. 

Andre: Zenobia can and probably will testify against you.  It's entirely possible you'll be charged with car theft on top of everything else. James Potter has an alibi for all three incidents, and the video is very clear - Ms Pike is a professional photographer and uses top-of-the-line equipment.   Now, you can come clean with me and we can work out a defense, or I collect for the time I've wasted here and move on to my next case. 

*****

The Montez Contracting crew meets in the park for work.  They're installing playground equipment. 

Gabriella: I'm going to hit the restroom before we get started, Dad.  I'll meet you at the site. 

Joe: Okay.  (teasing) Don't be slacking off just because it's your last day on the job. 

Ryder: Why's it her last day on the job? 

Joe: Back to school tomorrow.  

Tate: Oh?  What's her major? 

Joe: Major?  She's in high school, she doesn't have a major. 

Ryder (amazed): High school?  She's underage? 

Tate: We though she was just petite. 

Joe (chuckles): I'm not sure if I should be complimented on my parenting or angry that you two were apparently lusting after my daughter.  She is very mature for her age, but yes, she's underage. Wait a few years before asking her out. 

Gabriella sprints across the park, shouting.  

Joe: What is it?  

Gabriella (panting): There's a car in the water, down behind the restrooms.  I think it's the one the cops are looking for.  Green SUV, right? 

A Lucky Break?

 Note: COVID masks are invisible to readers.  The hospital allows up to two people to be in the ER waiting room if they're with an ER patient. 

After Pike and Rose-Grace leave in a hurry, Mace gathers the kids. 

Fred: Sumpin bad happened!  Maybe somebody got dead! 

Mace: It's Candy.  That mad bastard who's running over people hit her, but she is alive. 

Stacie:  Mom?  Why would anyone want to runover Mom?

Tanner: Me and Finnick need to go.  Mom said, since we're adults now, she was going to change the paperwork so Dad's not POA any more. 

Whitney: We can't invade the ER.  That'd be bad even if there wasn't a pandemic on.  

Taylor: Yeah, if you go, everyone's gonna want to.  And don't start with how you'd stop us.  You know damn well you wouldn't argue if we managed to get into the car before you got it started. 

Finnick: She might not have done it yet, though.  You know how she procrastinates stuff like that.  

Nakoma: She's a tough woman.  I bet she's gonna be fine. 

Finnick: I just need to sit tight.

*****

At the hospital.

Pike: They've got medical students working the front desk?  

Boudicca: I help out everywhere, at least until my actual residency starts.  (Goes over the file, updating information as needed.)  This says her maiden name was Barr?  Candy Barr? 

Rose-Grace:  That's one of the reasons she kept Pike's name after they divorced.  Her parents were easily amused.  

Boudicca: All right, then.  It does say that the twins are listed as POA, but I don't think we need to contact them until Dr. Eaton makes a determination on her condition.  I'll be around if you need anything and someone will update you ASAP. 

Pike:  She'll be fine, honey.  She's survived worse.  

Rose-Grace: Are you trying to convince me or yourself? 

Pike:  I'm not sure.  This guy going after Candy makes me wonder if she was working the case.  But don't the cops have their own photographers? 

Rose-Grace: She could have been working on a story about the case.  Probably with someone from the Journal or WDLC.   I can make some calls if you want.

Pike: Maybe later.  Right now, I just need my wife.  Not the mayor. 

*****

When Gabriella and Claudia hear the news, they rush to their best friends' sides.  

Taylor: When they got the call, Mom and Grandpa were giving Dad a hard time for being racially insensitive.  He told me the exact same thing he told the twins - you know, those white boys!  I thought it was great that he treated me equal to them, but no.  They gotta ride him for his word choice.  

Gabriella: Well, it's tricky.  Maybe his word choice could be better, but his heart's definitely in the right place.  He's been such a great dad for you and Nikki.  

Taylor: Candy's been awesome, too.  Oh, Gabriella, I hope she's okay! 

Claudia: Not knowing what's going on is the worst.  

Nikki: Is it weird to be this worried about her?  I mean, she's just my... what... stepdad's ex? 

Claudia: I think of her kind of as your aunt or something.  Would it be weird to worry about Morgan? 

Whitney: I was so mad at you about Esper, and now this.  You could lose your mother. 

Tanner: Hey, Mom getting hurt has nothing to do with that.  You have every right to be mad at me. Even if you're wrong.

Nakoma: Because Esperanza is a meddling drama queen.  Sorry, Whit, I'm with the guys on this one. 

*****

Finally, after an eternity....

Marcus:  Candy's stabilized, but still unconsious.  I've called in a specialist for one of her legs - her knee took the brunt of the impact and is pretty much shattered.  Her vitals look good, all things considered.  

Rose-Grace: That's all?  This guy killed the others. 

Marcus (chuckles):  The others didn't see him coming and jump onto his hood.  By the way, I let the federal agent take Candy's go-pro.  Might be some useful footage on it. 

Non-Murder Drama Continues

 Barbieville Elementary School

Qi: What's up with the pink bag, Anakin?  You gay all of a sudden?

Stacie: Don't be stupid.  We're too young to be worrying about if we're gay or not.

Tommy:  So what?  My brother's gay. 

Casey: My dad wears makeup and he ain't gay. 

Anakin: My bookbag broke and I borrowed this from Nakoma.

Marty: No boys in the family you could borrow from?  I mean, I got no problem with the pink, but you could've avoided some teasing. 

Anakin: Me and John are the only guys.  And it's worth a little teasing to have a nice stable family for once. I swear, I feel like a whole new kid.

Casey (to Qi):  I'm sorry you let your wiener limit your choices in life.  

*****  

Barbieville High School

Gabriella: So now Mom is scared Charlotte's lawyer is gonna subpoena her.   

Taylor: Might be for the best if she did.  I know she doesn't want to... 

Snape: Miss Pike, would you care to tell the class what's more important than your lesson?

Snape: Don't bother telling me you started the conversation, Miss Montez.  I'm well aware that you are merely a follower, being influenced by Miss Pike's disregard for rules.   I've made if clear, have I not, that being related to the mayor carries no weight with me? 

Taylor: Yes, sir. I'm sorry. 

Gabriella: Mr. Snape, I was finishing a conversation we started in the hall.  Class hasn't even begun.

Snape: Class begins when the bell rings.  Perhaps you should have your hearing checked. 

*****

Mayor's Office 

Rose-Grace: Thank you all for meeting with me.  The media has been barraging me with questions about what they're calling Deadly Driver, and I don't want to spread misinformation.  Or keep deflecting, for that matter.  The citizens need to know what's happening. 

Carol: Within limits, of course.

Midge: Test results came back as expected.  We did get specifications on paint chips from the victim's bodies, which I shared with the police department.  The vehicle was painted a color called "Green With Envy" which is exclusive to one Automobile manufacturer. 

Lynch: They have three models of the right shape and size.  We're compiling a list of owners, with the intent to interview and visually inspect each of the cars in question.   Agent Danvers has been in touch with the federal profilers.  But Helena and Charlie had so little in common... 

Carol: They're the same sex and age group, both educated professionals.  My guys have done wonders with less than that.  

******

Doll County Day Care, Barbieville

Whitney: Oh My God!  I am not going to go through his phone!  I trust him! 

Esperanza: I'm telling you, he is not spending all this time with his freakin' Grandpa.  He's up to something and I bet she puts out. 

Whitney: I'm picking up Wilma and she doesn't need to hear this garbage.  I trust Tanner.  The end.

Roxy: He's eating all the people that fell outta the train wreck. 

Wilma: No way! A tricycle-tops don't eat meat!  

Whitney: Geez, John, what kind of sickos are you raising? 

John (laughing): Only the best.  Wilma, your mom's here.

Whitney: I hope she behaved today.  We've been having a problem with temper tantrums lately. 

John: She wasn't happy about the choices for after-school snacks, but she took it out on those poor train passengers.  

Wilma: Put me down, Mommy!  I wanna walk! 

Esperanza: Did you see the way he was looking at me?  He wants me. 

Whitney: Sure, Esper, sure.  

The Investigation: Part Three

 Picture day at Barbieville High.  

Gabriella: So then Charlotte tells my mom she's a bad sister!  Because she won't lie on the stand! 

Taylor: Will Charlotte leave town when this custody thing is over?  Please say yes. 

Gabriella: Probably not.  Mom thinks her real reason for coming back to town was revenge.  She wants to make this town pay for whatever she thinks it did to her.  

Phoebe: Looks good to me, but you're the photographer. 

Kenna: (to Samantha, who just sat for her photo) You can head back to class now.  Thank you.

Phoebe: Granger, Hermione. (looks towards the assembled students)  

Draco: She and her boyfriend are at home crying because his mommy died. 

Kevin: She's his stepsister, you moron, not his girlfriend. 

Ron: Losing your parent is horrible.  Of course they're sad. 

Draco: Oh, that's right!  You're an orphan, so you know all about what they're going through, don't you? Maybe you'll run over there after school and give them all hugs.  Have a giant pity party. 

Phoebe calls Alex Russo next, but Kenna turns to Draco. 

Kenna: Young man, your lack of sympathy is disgusting.  What I just overheard will be reported.  

Draco: Big deal.  

Kenna: Barbieville has some pretty strict anti-bullying policies.  I'm sure you just violated several. 

Draco starts to reply, but the intercom drowns him out.  He's being called to the office. 

Kevin: You know you're an ass when you get called to the office before they even know you did anything.

Draco: You look like a pimp. 

***** 

Mayor's office

Midge: It's the same person, I'm sure.  Both victims were hit at high speed by a large vehicle.  The same vehicle, or a very similar one.  Our second victim was thrown across the narrowest section of the inlet, from the park.  

Lynch: Your report gives a tentative make and model of the vehicle.  It's a very common vehicle.  

Rose-Grace: My family has three of them.  

Midge: Yes, but your vehicles don't match the paint transfer we found on the victims.  (weak smile) I think you're cleared. The question now is - Do we talk to the media again and how much do we tell them?  

Lynch: We don't want to create a panic. 

Rose-Grace: I'll put together a statement.  Dealing with the media and the public comes with being the mayor.

Midge: I'll practice my "no comment".  

Lynch: And my refusal to discuss an ongoing investigation. 

Almost Back To Normal

Taylor and Gabriella take Jenny and Fred to the beach.  It's not very hot out, so there aren't any crowds to worry about.

Fred: Look, it's Four and his mommy and brothers and Tris!  Kin we go say hi?

Taylor: Go on.  Remember the Germ Rules.

Four: Are the twins with you? 

Taylor: No, they're at work.  Painting social distancing reminders on the pavement.  Things like horseshoes in the merry-go-round line. Albus said if they gotta do it, they're gonna have fun with it. 

Esmeralda: I was just sending the boys up to the vending machines.  Would you like something?

Jenny: Do they gots candy bars?

Esmeralda: I already have some of those in my cooler bag.  We're out of drinks, though.

Taylor: Who was that with Kevin? 

Four: Ricky.  Or, as he prefers nowadays, Cedric. Mom told him he has to act the part if he wants to use an adult name.  Whenever he gets whiny, we just revert to calling him Ricky. 

Esmeralda: It's done wonders for his attitude.  

Gabriella: But his name's Richard, isn't it?

Esmeralda:  He didn't want to end up being Dick Eaton, for obvious reasons. Cedric is his middle name.

Taylor: I didn't even recognize him.

Four: My dad and your mom have had both families on lockdown.  You haven't seen him in months.  And, you know, puberty.

Tris: By the way, we talked to Rose-Grace about our wedding.  She said all the law requires is a public declaration of intent and signing the paperwork.  Saves us a lot of drama! 

Four: We're going so untraditional, it ain't even funny. 

Gabriella: Hey, it's your wedding. 

******

Hagrid, the caretaker of Doll County Wilderness Preserve, meets with Animal Control and the vet. 

James: How long have they been out here? 

Hagrid: Can't be more than 24 hours.  They weren't here yesterday.

Charlie: This is a new one on me.  Dogs, cats... but horses?  Why would anyone dump horses out here? 

Hagrid: Same reason they do any other critter.  They're disgusting, selfish idiots.

Charlie: Well, I can't take them to the animal shelter.  (to James)  And yours is a mobile clinic.  But I really don't think it's safe for them to stay here.

James: This is even weirder than you think.  They're perfectly healthy, from what I can tell, and look to be purebreds.  Very valuable animals.  

Hagrid (taking out his phone): I might have a foster home for them.  Let me make a call.

Charlie and James exchange a glance, both willing to bet they know who he's calling.

Mace: I see you managed to contain them.

Hagrid: The filly came along nicely, but those two colts... you gotta watch them.  That spotted one just likes to tease, running away and coming back like a boomerang.

Mace: Angus will be glad for the company.  He misses Silverstream. 

Hagrid: Dr. Potter said he'll be by your place tomorrow to give them a real exam.  You sure you're okay with baby-sitting them? 

Mace: I'm okay with adopting them if it comes to that.  I've  finally got grandkids that are interested in following in my footsteps!   

******

Albus meets with the mayor about Witch's Cove reopening.

Rose-Grace: All these measures look good, but why is she putting off opening until next year?

Albus: To quote her, the place is gonna be a hotbed of germs no matter how many changes we make.  This gives the experts time to cope and it won't break her bank.  Dent it real good, but not break it.  I doubt even Kida realized how well-off she left her girls. 

Rose-Grace: She told me once that she was probably a millionaire. 

Albus: I wouldn't be surprised.  She made money hand over fist and lived simple. 

Rose-Grace: What about the ghost hunt?  Is that still on?

Albus: Oh, yeah.  They're gonna release a joint DVD.  Good press and a bit of profit for both the park and the paranormal team. 

Friendships Face The Future

The Pike twins and their sweethearts do a conference call.  

Tanner: Are you in Grandpa Mace's room, Whitney?  He's got the same ugly wall. 

Finnick:  That's how lame you are.  Your girlfriend would rather hang with your grandpa. 

Whitney: I'm in the laundry room.  Was gonna use the kitchen table, but Wendy is distracting Wilma in there.  Teaching her to make cookies.  (Changing the subject)  Get a load of this.  My dad wants me to major in mass media and work for him. 

Nakoma:  After his Wilma attitude?  I hope you told him where to stick his cameras and printing press.

Tanner: Hey, now.  He kind of apologized for that. 

Whitney: Only kind of.  But I did tell him I'd think about it.  I wasn't even going to go to college but then I got that scholarship.  Right now I'm majoring in Undecided and getting all the basic stuff done.

Finnick:  Albus got us enrolled for trade school even before graduation.  He's more excited about it than we are.  Said he was beginnning to think he'd have to live forever to keep the rides going.  

Nakoma: Did you hear Four and Tris are already planning a wedding?  The ink's barely dry on our diplomas!  Neither of them is going to college or anything! 

Tanner: He's got a job lined up.  Doing tattoos.  And Tris says flipping burgers is a step up from anything her parents expected her to do.  They'll be all right.  

Nakoma: Oh, yeah, I forgot he apprenticed with his uncle. 

Finnick: His grandpa.  But yeah, they're good to go.  Us?  We got a few years before any serious planning should begin.  All four of us, right, Tanner? 

Tanner: We could talk in general.  Vague stuff.  Like, maybe we should have a double wedding? 

*****

Taylor is out on the deck, getting the gossip from Gabriella.

Gabriella: I may not make it to high school.  Might murder my aunt before then. 

Taylor: Oh, lord.  What's Charlotte doing now?

Gabriella: Well, you know Alex has been wanting to dye her hair since her dad started dating Nova, but her mom had a cow?  She got her mom to promise that if she got straight As all through middle school, she could do anything she wanted with her hair. She got a green mohawk. 

Taylor:  I saw the selfie.  It looks really cute.  But what's that got to do with Aunt Hagface? 

Gabriella: She straight-up forbade me to do anything like that.  In front of my parents. 

Taylor: Did your dad scalp her?

Gabriella (laughing):  I don't think Navajos scalp people, you racist.  

Taylor: Did someone at least slap her?  Cuss her out?

Gabriella: I don't even know.  I came up to our room.  Stayed here until Charlotte left and then I got a lecture about being rude to an adult. 

Taylor: She was rude to you and to your parents.  But you got in trouble. 

Gabriella: Just the lecture, which I've heard about ten million times since she came to town.  Dad did tell me that it's my hair, to do with as I please, but he'd prefer that I keep it the natural color.  (Changing the subject)  I decided to take the college prep courses.  And not just because you are.

Taylor: I told you, it'll be easier than not taking them and then deciding you want to go to college.  

Gabriella: That, and Mom found one of those free on-line courses about the Navajo.  It's really interesting and it blows my mind how little Dad knows of his own heritage.  

****

Nikki is doing the same, but in her room and on a laptop.  

Claudia: I see my little buddy there behind you. 

Nikki: My turn with the babies.  Everyone else is watching some chainsaw murder marathon.  Gross. 

Claudia: Says the zombie show addict.  (Laughs)  Grandma's finally convinced Ben to let me come home on Sunday.  We've been butting heads even worse than normal.

Nikki:  Well, yeah.  She's 500 years old and you've been stuck with her forever. 

Claudia: 500 years old I can deal with.  She's got some really amazing stories.  But the woman is a hermit, Nikki, and she wants me to be a hermit, too! 

Nikki:  I wish you could've stayed here but we already had too many people here.  It never felt like it before, because we're hardly ever all at home, but now it gets really crowded around here.  

Claudia: I'm jealous.  But I'll be home next week, where I can at least wave at people through the window.  I'd be willing to hang with that crybaby Ricky Eaton right now.  

Nikki: Oh, lord, you must be desperate.