The EVPs

 Jeremiah tells the team to listen closely to the audio files from Peeta and Frodo's equipment.  

Peeta: Do the motion sensors first.  I'm sure we got something there, the way that one kept falling despite being weighted.  (The data comes up on Jeremiah's screen.  It's like a flatlined heart monitor, but the line wiggles slightly before a large jump.  The pattern repeats twice.)  That was me making it stay upright.  We stepped out of range and started doing EVPs.

The line on the screen remains flat, except for rapid bursts of small spikes. 

Jeremiah (to Esperanza, the team rookie): Normal footfalls, like Peeta and Frodo would have made, don't look like that.  Might be small animals.  Remember, we never assume it's paranormal until we've eliminated all other possibilities.  

Peeta: We put down the powder.  No paw prints.  

Frodo:  The EVP we got definitely isn't animals.  Give it a listen.  (To Esperanza) Electronic Voice Phenomena.  

Jeremiah cues up the file.  Frodo is heard asking any spirits to talk to him, then a distorted voice is heard.  The voice is followed by distant childish laughter and Jeremiah pauses the recording for input from the team.  

Frodo: Can't catch me.  

Jeremiah: I hear "fantasy".

Esperanza: No, it's "don't touch me".  

Jeremiah (to Esperanza): You see how we all hear it differently.  That's the norm.  A clear EVP is rare.

The recording continues with the laughter and Frodo asking "who are you?" Jeremiah pauses it again after the voice, or a similar one, responds.

Jeremiah: Antonio?  Did we just get a name? 

Nova: Sounds like "don't I know" to me. 

Frodo: Float my boat.

Hagrid: Broke my nose.

Esperanza: Man, this is nothing like those ghost shows.  They're always like "oh, yes, a kid named Antonio dropped dead in this very spot in 1834".  

Hagrid: They get the history and stuff beforehand, don't they? They're listening for certain things.  It's like that thing with faces, para-doily, but with ears instead of eyes.  This way we'll know it's probably Antonio if we find an Antonio in the history.

Jimin: That's why we avoid places like Lizzie Borden's house - everyone knows that story, everyone has opinions, so they're likely to hear what they want.  (laughs) I saw on one of those shows, they insisted the EVP said "Lizzie killed me" but it sounded to me like "feta cheese".

Ken:  Normally all we can make out is vowel sounds and tone.  It's like back in the day, when everyone was hearing devil messages in records played backwards.  What we do is note what our impressions are and then compare to the history.  

Esperanza: Play that last one, the one from near the log ride. 

Nova: Hey, that's my husband you're bossing around!  (To Jeremiah) Play it.

Jeremiah plays it. 

Jimin: Leave me alone.

Esperanza: Repeat the note.  

Results Are In

 After gathering data, Doll County Paranormal gathers in the Overlook to corollate the data.  

Jeremiah:  EMF readings seem normal, except for the unusual spikes Hagrid noticed.  Esperanza, do we have any sources of electro-magnetic energy around there? 

Esperanza:  That's the lightning bolt and magnet marker, right?  We've got two of them at the Windigo, and Kenna said they were right under the tracks at the time.  

Jeremiah:  So probably interference from the coaster.  Let's move on to the photographs.  

Frodo: That was Ken and Nova.  (To Ken) Y'all better have found something.

 

Jeremiah (clicking through the photos):  Nothing outstanding.  Little bit of either backscatter or orb activity, but so far...  Whoa!  Will you look at that! 

Jeremiah:  Didn't you report feeling watched near the Raging Rapids, Nova? 

Nova:  Yes.  But where is that other one from?  Raging Rapids, also?

Kenna: The ride lights don't look anything like that, even if they had been on.  There wasn't, by any chance, a dance troupe with flashlights out there with us?

Esperanza: I'm way more interested in the white blob with the pink blob under it.  That second one could be backscatter. 

Kenna: It's inconsistent with the backscatter in the other pictures, though.  And there's connecting lines.

Peeta: Let's check the sensors and EVP attempts.  I want to see if Frodo and I got anything.  

Hagrid: It was weird how that one sensor kept falling over.  We got em weighted so they shouldn't do that.  

Jimin: Esperanza and I picked up temperature drops all over the place, but nothing dramatic.  These pictures and any possible EVPs are probably our only solid leads.  

Esperanza:  As far as we know.  We don't know what happened on Lottie's walk through or in the park history.  Jeremiah has to compare all the different sources before we know for sure. 

Jeremiah: Exactly, Esperanza.  All we know from any of that is that most reported activity is along the path we put the sensors by.  I was with Lottie, of course, on her walk-through, but neither of us has shared anything.

Peeta:  That's nice.  Can we get to me and Frodo's work? 

Ghosts and Gossip

 

Doll County Paranormal begins an investigation of local amusement park Witch's Cove.  They split into teams of two.

Jimin:  The most common mistakes made by beginners are pareidolia and backscatter. 

Esperanza: I know about pareidolia.  That's when we see a face where there is no face, because our brains are wired to look for them.  We use it in theater, for subliminal creepiness in a scary production.  

Jimin: Good.  Backscatter is when things like dust are mistaken for ghostly orbs.  Always look for a practical explanation first.  And don't take it to heart if we tease you.  We're still teasing Nova about a screech owl.  

Nova: We're picking up something.  Quit leaning on the post and take some pictures.  

Ken: I'm just catching my breath.  

Nova: Take pictures while you do it.  Especially towards the Raging Rapids - I feel like something that direction is watching us. 

Hagrid: Check this out. 

Kenna: That's probably radio transmissions.  A steel coaster is basically just a big twisted antenna. 

Hagrid: Sure, some of it.  Maybe even most of it.  But there's weirdness on each end of the frequency range.  Spikes at the same time, on each end.

Frodo: This path is supposed to be a very active area.  Jeremiah wants the trip sensors on either side.  Mine's good, but what is going on at your end?  You got fairies dancing around over there? 

Peeta: Only fairy around here is me, smarty pants.  I can't get the damn sensor cone to stay upright.

Frodo: Sounds like a personal problem to me. 

******

Meanwhile: At Sunburst, after a meeting of the Teacher's Union.  

Rallee: I'm glad we got everything sorted.  I was really dreading a strike.  As superintendent, I get all the blame if that happens.  Maybe I should try for that new WDLC show.  I could retire from the whole mess.

Gwen: I'm actually thinking about applying.  I love to teach, but I sure ain't in it for the money. 

Snape: It's practically prostitution, Gwen! 

Rallee: It can be argued that all marriage is prostitution.  

Gwen: You both are such sourpusses.  Why am I sitting with you? 

Suzie: You aren't seriously?

Doreen:  Already mailed the application packet.  I'm not desperate for a man to define me, never have been, but I get tired of sleeping alone.  Two of my kids are grown and in serious relationships.  Tommy's the same age as the potential stepchild.  

Suzie:  Two?  Who is Bonnie dating? 

Midna: Everything good?  Anyone need a refill?

McG: Perhaps you can settle an argument for us.  How do you feel about this Mrs. Moneybags program WDLC will be putting on? 

Midna (shrugs): It's not anything I'm interested in.  Seems like a goofy way to get a husband, but I've seen goofier.  

Susan: You agree, then, that there's nothing immoral or unethical about it?

Nancy:  But it's so decidedly unromantic! 

McG:  Not all women can be as fortunate as we are.  Particularly in modern society.  

Nancy:  My daughters are grown, so I can't forbid them, but I have strongly advised against it.  

McG: I'd tell my daughter it's a bad idea if she shows an interest in anything but dinosaurs.  If she ever marries, it's bound to be a Velociraptor.  

For The Children

Jimin starts his work day with checking e-mails, but it isn't long before his appointments start arriving.  

Jimin:  I have good news.  We have a prospect for you.  Take a look at the file and see what you think.

Lynch: A boy?!  Bobby will be thrilled.

Sulu (reading from the file):  We specified children of Asian heritage. It's nice to have the kid at least kind of look like us.  People can be so rude.  This boy is, what, Cheyenne?  Sioux?  

Jimin: He's Vietnamese by blood, but his parents taught at the reservation school.  

Lynch (to Sulu): Let me see that file.  

*****

Jimin barely gets the calls made from the Sulu case when his next client comes in.

Charlotte: You aren't going to believe this.  Kayden had extensive plastic surgery, for no apparent reason, and I'm pretty sure he dipped into Mary and Max's money to do it.  You have got to speed this up.  It's taken so long already.

Jimin: Mrs. Jackson, I've told you, none of the money belongs to any of your children or stepchildren.  Their father is still alive and the money is still tied up in his businesses. The only personal use money coming from Billy Senior is your personal allowance.  

Jimin: I sent our proposal to their lawyer - Kayden can have custody as long as, in the event of their father's death, the share of the inheritance intended for Mary goes into trust until Mary's twenty-first birthday.  Same deal with Max's share.

Charlotte: Kayden will never agree to that.  He only wants them for their money.  And to spite me.

Jimin: We will deal with his refusal when it happens.

*****

Before Jimin realizes the time, his lunch date arrives.

Bonnie: Don't tell me.  The Jackson case? 

Jimin: She's such a nightmare.  (glares at the fax machine) I'm still waiting for a response, but apparently her stepson has to discuss everything at length with his brothers before telling the lawyer what to do. 

Bonnie: How many brothers are there?

Jimin: The old man had two sons and adopted hers, so three adult.  The minors they're fighting over came along after the marriage.  Older boys think she married the guy for his money, but she seems genuinely fond of him.  

Bonnie:  Both sides think the other is after the kids' share of the money?  And Dad is still alive.

Jimin: If you want to call that living.  Poor dude is in a coma. 

*Charlotte's children live in the Facebook Page "Our Toy Story".  Album name is Nearly Famous.*

The Giant

 

Zenobia's phone chimes as she's leaving The Tor.  It's her boss.

Midna: I got Esmeralda to stay over until you get to work, just in case this meeting runs late.  Is it true your dad hired The Giant to defend him?  Doesn't seem to fit what I know of him.

Zenobia:  He's good at ignoring your defects if you are of use to him.  The Giant's the best defense attorney on the planet, so it only follows that Dad hired him.  

Midna: I was shocked the first time I saw the guy.  I expected... well, a giant. 

Zenobia: He's a giant in the courtroom.  Also, there's probably some irony there.  

Midna: Like calling a skinny guy Fatso.  Anyway, don't sweat it about work.

Andre: I suppose you're wondering why I asked you to meet me here, at Mr. Rhee's office.  

Boudicca: He's Family Law, and we are here about family matters.  It's only logical to have him involved. 

Andre: Exactly!  Your father told me you were smart.  And Zenobia, you've moved back into the family home to help.  That must be a sacrifice for you.

Zenobia (not sure if he's being sarcastic): Mom instilled a strong sense of family duty in all of us.  My siblings need me, so here I am. 

Andre: Excellent.  Since the matters of home and family fall under his purview, I'll give the floor over to Mr. Rhee. 

Jimin: Thank you, sir.  (To Zenobia and Boudicca) There was some question of locking down your father's finances, but given the needs of  minor children, I managed to keep some funds available.  Household and educational expenses, for example.  Boudicca's tuition and books are paid from her own accounts, so we don't need to worry about that. 

Zenobia:  Yeah, Mom saw to that.  When I decided against higher education, he tried to take my college fund. She didn't want him doing that to the others if they pursued unseemly careers. 

Jimin: There are some formalities, papers to sign regarding custody of Draco and Leia, but no surprises.  Besides a collective tightening of the proverbial belt, I think life will mostly go on as usual for them. 

Andre: There were some questions as to Zenobia's ability to fulfill her role. 

Zenobia: Yet I was the first person he called to do it.  (imitating Paris) You are the eldest child, it falls upon you.

Andre (trying not to smile): Questionable morals aside, you pass muster as a responsible adult.  

Boudicca: I think Draco might have sealed that deal, anyway.  Shot himself in the foot, telling the investigator what a sleazy slimy slut you are and then praising your friends as good people.  Albus in particular. 

Zenobia: He does have a lot more respect for Albus than I would've expected. 

Andre: Well, then, once these papers are signed, we can all go about our day.  I'll be back in touch with you regarding Paris's defense. 

Digging For Clues

 The investigation continues.

Iggy: I tagged along with PJ to tell you about this guy Mom dated.  He's the main reason I moved in with Dad, and then Mom got smart and dumped him.  Apparently, she thought I was the problem but after I was gone, she realized it was all him. 

PJ: That guy would have no reason to kill Helena, though.

Iggy: Unless she was a witness.  

Lynch: Anything's possible.  I'll take a formal statement from you after I clarify a few things with your stepmother.  (To PJ)  You mentioned that Charlie took issue with some of your parenting methods? Was that a problem? 

PJ: Charlie had a right to say something about the boys, being their mother, but I felt she over-stepped when my girls were concerned.  For example, I was arguing with Belle about dating.  I think she's too young, but Charlie recited that vulgar rhyme that starts "old enough to bleed".  

Iggy: But dad backed up PJ on that one.  In their house, we can't date until we can drive.  

PJ: It's nothing unusual for a blended family.  Surely you don't think I killed her over that?

******

Across town, Jimin is dealing with his most troublesome client.

Jimin: Mrs. Jackson, I don't understand.  Why do you think Miss Carson is needed?  She knows little or nothing about your family situation. 

Charlotte: Not for the custody thing.  For this ridiculous claim that I killed Helena Malfoy and Charlie Lake.  Bonnie has insight into that, since she is the Malfoy boy's parole officer. 

Bonnie: Probation officer.  Parole is an entire different thing. 

Charlotte: Whatever.  Tell him how nice and civil we all were.  

Jimin: Mrs. Jackson, I do family law, not criminal law. You'll have to retain a different lawyer if you're concerned you might be charged.  (To Bonnie) Unless you can contribute to the custody matter, I'm afraid we've wasted your time.

Charlotte: Seriously?!  It's all connected, can't you see?  Whoever killed them is working for either Billy's sons or for this damn town.  I'm not sure which bunch hates me more.  Hell, maybe they're in it together!  (Eyes Bonnie suspiciously) Come to think of it, the Carsons are one of the founding families of  Barbieville... 

Bonnie: Well, I  think I've heard enough.  Jimin, I'm sure I'll see you in Family Court.  (Shakes his hand)  Maybe we can get dinner sometime?  

Jimin: That would be nice.  (Raises his voice to be heard over Charlotte) I'm sorry about this.

Bonnie: Never apologize for your clients, Mr. Rhee.  You aren't responsible for their behavior. 

****

At Doll County Museum

Carol: Mr. Patrick, you are a hard man to track down. 

Coby: I keep busy, that's for sure.  What can I do for you, Agent Danvers? 

Carol: I wanted to speak to you and Ms Pike about Helena Malfoy.  You were the last to see her alive.

Morgan: Dr. Pike.  I have a PhD in paleontology.  

Coby: I don't think I'd be much help.  Helena works with the university, having permanent exhibits here that connect to our disciplines.  I've recently taken charge of Gender Studies and met with Helena about my own exhibit.  But that's the only time I ever met her.

Carol: Did she mention any problems?  At home or professionally?

Coby: She did mention that her husband clings to old-fashioned gender roles, much to the detriment of their daughters.  An older daughter even left home because of it.   But nothing to indicate she was in any danger. 

Morgan: Did she mention that her son is an entitled little shit? 

Coby (chuckles): She didn't phrase it that bluntly, but yes. 

Morgan (to Carol): I was here helping plan Coby's space, more out of boredom than anything else.  Helena mentioned that she was going for a jog along Hawthorne.  She liked it because the hill made it a challenge, but the shade from all the trees kept it cool.  I guess that's when she was hit. 

  

Afternoon In The Park

Nova has just finished a picnic lunch with her stepdaughters.  

Lottie:  Mommy's here!  I just seen her car!

Nova: Well, don't run into the parking lot after her.  You nearly got run over last time.  

Lottie: Did not!  That car stopped so far away from me!

Alex: He was only going like five miles an hour.  You got lucky.

Lara: Are you girls ready?  I've got lots of fun on the agenda.

Lottie: Mommy! 

Nova: We saved you some potato salad.  Lottie and Alex made it. 

Alex: Alex made it while Lottie talked her ear off. (as Lottie)  "Why can't we put candy in it?  Candy would make it yummier.  Mommy likes candy."

Lara: Not in my potato salad.  (laughs)  After the potato salad, for dessert.  (to Alex) Did you use Grandma's recipe?  You know that's the best kind. 

Alex: Of course.  To do otherwise is unthinkable, right, Lottie? 

Lottie: Just like the Titanic.  (Both girls giggle.) Let's go hop in Mommy's car.  I'll hold your hand and be good. 

Nova: Sorry you had to work during the reception.  We missed you. 

Lara: Me, too.  Although if that grandmother of yours was there, it might be best that I wasn't.  

Nova: She wasn't.  Still boycotting the very idea. (changes subject) You sure you're okay to keep them while we run off on our late honeymoon? 

Lara: I signed on for it when I gave birth to them, right?  Anyway, Alex is old enough to watch Lottie if I get called in.  How did the reception go? 

Nova: It was wonderful.  (checks the time) Oh, I better run.  Make the girls show you all the pictures and videos, okay?  

Lara:  I will.  Have a good time in Hawaii.  

*****

Later, Charlotte meets her sister after her appointment with the lawyer.

Charlotte: And he said that if I insist on trust funds for the kids, that might make Kaden give up the lawsuit.  He can't get to the money, he won't want to deal with them. 

Batgirl: Why are you so sure he's motivated by money?  

Charlotte: You're so naive.  Everyone is motivated by money.  You really don't -- Hey!  What the hell do you think you're doing, Hagrid?  And what the hell are you doing in Barbieville?  (Sprints away from her sister.)

Hagrid:  I'm trying to see a comet.  And I live in Barbieville. 

Charlotte slaps him, hard.

Batgirl: Stop it!  What is your problem, Charlotte?  

Charlotte: This is my brother-in-law.  I told you about him. 

Hagrid: Lady, I don't know you from Adam.  And I ain't anyone's brother-in-law.

Charlotte:  LIAR!  (tries to slap him again, but Batgirl holds her back)  You're pointing that thing right at my apartment, you answered to his name, and I recognize you.

The police arrive, much to Batgirl's relief.  She's beginning to think her sister has finally gone totally bonkers.  Lynch has things under control quickly.

Hagrid:  I think the lady's mistaken me for one of my cousins.  Very strong resemblance and lots of us are named after the same ancestor.  (To Charlotte)  Honestly, lady.  Our family reunions look like one of them movies about clones.  

Charlotte: I don't believe you.  I know Kaden sent you to -- 

Jimin: Mrs. Jackson, please, let me do the talking. 

Hagrid:  Jackson?  Oh, yeah, I got cousins named Jackson.  Kinda strange that one of them would be as rough-looking as me, though.  (whispers to Lynch) They got money. 

Batgirl: What's his full name? 

Charlotte (softly): Rubeus Hagrid Jackson.  He goes by his middle name because...

Hagrid: Because the family's overrun with Rubeuses.  (To Lynch)  I'm not gonna be pressing any charges.  Looks like my cousin's giving this lady a rough way to go and she made an honest mistake.  

When The Going GetsTough

Jimin is livid when he gets home from the meeting with Doll County Paranormal.  The house is a mess and all his brothers are lounging in the man cave.

Jimin: What the hell?!  We've lost the restaurant, so all of you are unemployed, and this is how you spend your time?!  

V: Chill out.  We're just watching the game. 

Jimin: Chill out?! You guys have done nothing but chill out in the last couple of months! I will not support six grown men!

Jung Kook: I met with the auction house today.  Everything is ready for Wednesday. 

Jimin (calming down): Thank you for that.  It's good to know someone around here has my back.

Jin: I sent out resumes all afternoon and had a job interview at Witch's Cove.  There's a revamp of The Overlook coming and she wants in-house cooks instead of hiring caterers for events. (To the rest of the brothers)  You heard the man.  If you've been home all day, get out there and clean the place.

Jimin: I can't tell you guys how relieved I am that something was finally done by...  well, by anyone who isn't me. 

Jin: We just aren't used to having to be responsible, man.  Dad and Mom always did everything for us.

Jung Kook: We really don't know how to be adults, but it isn't fair to expect you to replace them.  The senior partners finally gave you a case of your own. 

Jimin (imitating senior partner): Hey, lets stick the new guy in a broom closet and give him the worst client we have.  

Jin:  That's how it always works.  You know that.  

Jung Kook: Look, you worry about your law career.  Me and Jin will handle stuff here.

*****

Wednesday.  Jimin meets with his client, Charlotte Jackson.   She's in the midst of a custody battle for her children and comatose husband.

Jimin: Well, I have to say things don't look good.  You've got a history of mental health instabilities and even some violent incidents.  Both your children have expressed a desire to stay where they are.  Your stepson, Kaden Jackson, claims your only interest is financial.

Charlotte: Kaden is the one who only wants their money.  Billy Sr is getting excellent care at Doll County.  I had arranged for Mary and Maxwell to attend boarding school, as they always have, but Kaden is sending them to (shudders) public school. 

 

Jimin: Well, in our favor...  you have been seeing your therapist and following the treatment plan for your mental health issues.  You've moved back to Barbieville, where Mary and Maxwell have family.  Our best bet is to use Kaden's greed against him.  We can suggest that, in the event of Billy Sr's death, the inheritance goes into a trust until your children reach the age of either 18 or 21.  

Charlotte: All of it?! 

Jimin: You and your stepsons, as adults, would inherit right away.  Only the portions intended for Mary and Maxwell would go into trust. That should cool Kaden's jets, as the saying goes.

Charlotte: I like how you think, young man.  Let's do it.

*****

Once he's rid of Charlotte, Jimin hopes for a few moments peace, but no.  

Jin:  Good news!   We made a substantial profit from the auction and are out of the hole.  We can even support six grown men for a while, but I think we should keep that between us. 

Jung Kook: Especially since I spent a good amount of time and energy at the auction networking with everyone.  Every food service business in the county was there and I made sure every one of them got resumes for every one of us.  

Jimin (looking up at the sky):  Thank you!  (to his brothers)  You two.  I was really doubting you.  I've never been so glad to be wrong.  

His phone rings before he can say more. 

Jimin:  Chief Lynch?  How are you?  (listens)  She did what?  To who?