Mrs. Moneybags At Pride

 Rayshawn hosts a day at the privately funded Pride Event, held for the second year by Zenobia Malfoy.  This gives him a chance to get acquainted with the families of his prospective brides... at least, the ones with family in town.  Doreen's goes first.

Tommy: It will be so cool if we end up being stepbrothers!  Do you think your dad would adopt us?  Can you adopt grownups? 

Marty: I'd get two brothers and a sister just like that - BAM.   

Tommy: And Peeta.  Someday he's gonna be a brother in law.  Not sure about Jimin, he's pretty new. 

Rayshawn: If your mom wins this thing, would any of you be interested in going to work at The Point?  She says she intends to continue to teach, but her weekends and summers are negotiable. 

Bonnie: Absolutely not.  I have a career at the Probation Office.  

Ken: I don't see why not, if it doesn't get in the way of school.  I plan to be a teacher like Mom.  

Peeta: Does that offer include in-laws?  (To Doreen)  Yes, we're finally getting around to planning a wedding.  

*****

Next, he meets Gwen's sister and niece.

Rallee: Before you ask... no, I will not work at The Point.  I busted my butt to be Superintendent of Schools and plan to stay on track to better education for as many kids as possible.  

Gwen: She's gonna be Secretary of Education someday, just watch.  If not President.  

Rallee: President?  (laughs) Can you imagine?

Rayshawn: Actually, I can.  Gwen speaks very highly of you, and so does almost everyone else in this town.  

Rallee: Well, I speak just as highly of her.  Gwen's been my rock, all my life.   

Marty: So you might be my cousin soon.  I don't know what to do with a cousin. 

Luna: Neither do I!  (both laugh) It's always just been the three of us, ever since I can remember.  My grandparents died when I was a baby and my dad ran off before I was born.  

****

After lunch, it's time for the Hernandez clan. Charlotte shows up with them, having taken Esperanza under her wing.

Daisy: We wouldn't come to work for you, no.  Bertie is an anchor on the local news and I'm happy at the grocery store.  Besides, we wouldn't want to meddle in Esper's marriage.  

Rayshawn: That's not a bad policy, generally speaking.  My first marriage was a disaster because meddling is all her family did.  They're having fits now because I kept Marty for the summer, said I should just do this on my own and Marty would have to live with my choice. 

Bertie: As unorthodox as this is, I applaud your including the boy.  He's going to have to live with the woman, he should have some say in the matter.  

*****

Rayshawn takes Esperanza on a carriage ride, as he's done with each lady after meeting the family.  Charlotte's sister finds her sitting alone after Bertie and Daisy leave.

Charlotte: Why are you carrying that child?  Her legs work.

Batgirl: She's exhausted.  If I stood her up right now, she'd just crumble to the ground.

Jenny: Wainbow Day makes me sweepy. 

Batgirl: I saw the camera crew following the carriage.  Mace didn't look happy about it.  

Charlotte: I really don't understand Rayshawn's priorities.  For one thing, why is Martin getting a vote?  He's a child!  And there's been no romancing of the women... it's almost like he's interviewing them for a job. 

Batgirl: Well, I imagine it's hard to romance anyone with a camera crew over your shoulder.  And in a sense, courtship is a job interview.  If Joe hadn't met my requirements for a husband, I wouldn't be with him now. 

Charlotte: You and I have very different requirements for a husband, clearly.  

******

Rayshawn joins Charlotte before his time with Sally and Seven.

Rayshawn: What do you think?  

Charlotte: I'm still stuck on Rallee Jones as a government figure.  With her half-shaved head and bastard daughter?  Seriously? 

Rayshawn: You have a bastard of your own, if memory serves. 

Charlotte: I do not!  Billy adopted Christopher! 

Rayshawn: What about the Carsons?  The only one of them unwilling to help was Bonnie, and she had good reason. Marty's already friends with Tommy, too.

Charlotte:  Dullest family ever.  And I don't even think those boys are really gay - they certainly don't act like it. Holding hands... big deal.

Rayshawn: Well, your pet's mothers weren't exactly slobbering all over each other, and none of them want to work at The Point.  Not even Esperanza - she thinks she's going to be a star.  (melodramatic gesture) I'm not even sure how that girl came from Bertie and Daisy, honestly, they're so grounded.

*****

Since neither of the two remaining ladies have family nearby to meet, Rayshawn takes each of them on an extra long carriage ride and discuss the matter.

Marty: Hey, look, Sally, we match! 

Sally: Yes, we do.  (To Rayshawn) Honestly, I don't understand.  You allow him to play with girl toys and wear girl clothes and now we're at a Pride Rally.  Is he gay?  Do you want him to be? 

Rayshawn: Do you have a problem with gays?  

Sally: It's just not natural.  If men were intended to be with men, children would result.  It's like a cat mating with a dog or something. 

Marty: Boys and girls do lots of stuff that don't make babies.  (starts to list them, beginning with condoms, but Rayshawn hushes him)  So, Sally... do you come from a big family? 

Sally: I do.  We all work with livestock, in some form.  None of them would be willing to confine themselves to living or working in town like this, but I can't do that anymore and must find something! 

Rayshawn: None of your family can take you in? 

Sally: No one has room for dead weight. Why, I can't even work as a flag girl at the rodeo anymore, not with my face disfigured.  My only option is to find a husband who doesn't mind that. I'm a great cook.  I'll make a good wife. 

******

Seven's turn!

As they start out, Tierra runs over.

Tierra: Thank you so much, Rayshawn!  I got the best job from your friend!  (to Seven)  She owns an amusement park and wanted to bring in costumed characters, maybe a little show or two... and I'm totally in charge of that!  

Rayshawn: I hoped you could work with them.  Not exactly Broadway, but it pays good and you can keep your dignity. 

Tierra: Yes! Some women like (glances at Marty) exotic dancing, but not me.  The theater I was interning at got mad when I said I was staying in Barbieville, but I gotta do what I gotta do! 

Seven: I'm so happy for her!  And you - a lot of men would've just rejected her and shipped her off. 

Rayshawn: I rejected her as a wife, not as a person.  Remember, I did ship off Reggie V.

Marty: She was so stuck up, she probably thinks she rejected you. 

Seven:  Well, I guess you want to hear about my family, since that's today's focus.  I've got 3 siblings. We've all got diplomas, but there was no money for college. We all went right to work.  Some of us even worked before graduating.  We're all single, no kids. 

Rayshawn: What about your parents? 

Seven: Nasty divorce, a long time ago.  None of us have much to do with either of them, honestly, because it's constant rant about how horrible the other parent is.  Just toxic. 

Marty: Do you like gay people? 

Seven: I would have refused to come here today if I had a problem with anyone represented by this festival.  (glances at Rayshawn) Is that part of today's test? 

Rayshawn:  It wasn't originally.  I made the mistake of assuming anyone who participated in something like this was pretty open-minded.   

Ghosts and Gossip

 

Doll County Paranormal begins an investigation of local amusement park Witch's Cove.  They split into teams of two.

Jimin:  The most common mistakes made by beginners are pareidolia and backscatter. 

Esperanza: I know about pareidolia.  That's when we see a face where there is no face, because our brains are wired to look for them.  We use it in theater, for subliminal creepiness in a scary production.  

Jimin: Good.  Backscatter is when things like dust are mistaken for ghostly orbs.  Always look for a practical explanation first.  And don't take it to heart if we tease you.  We're still teasing Nova about a screech owl.  

Nova: We're picking up something.  Quit leaning on the post and take some pictures.  

Ken: I'm just catching my breath.  

Nova: Take pictures while you do it.  Especially towards the Raging Rapids - I feel like something that direction is watching us. 

Hagrid: Check this out. 

Kenna: That's probably radio transmissions.  A steel coaster is basically just a big twisted antenna. 

Hagrid: Sure, some of it.  Maybe even most of it.  But there's weirdness on each end of the frequency range.  Spikes at the same time, on each end.

Frodo: This path is supposed to be a very active area.  Jeremiah wants the trip sensors on either side.  Mine's good, but what is going on at your end?  You got fairies dancing around over there? 

Peeta: Only fairy around here is me, smarty pants.  I can't get the damn sensor cone to stay upright.

Frodo: Sounds like a personal problem to me. 

******

Meanwhile: At Sunburst, after a meeting of the Teacher's Union.  

Rallee: I'm glad we got everything sorted.  I was really dreading a strike.  As superintendent, I get all the blame if that happens.  Maybe I should try for that new WDLC show.  I could retire from the whole mess.

Gwen: I'm actually thinking about applying.  I love to teach, but I sure ain't in it for the money. 

Snape: It's practically prostitution, Gwen! 

Rallee: It can be argued that all marriage is prostitution.  

Gwen: You both are such sourpusses.  Why am I sitting with you? 

Suzie: You aren't seriously?

Doreen:  Already mailed the application packet.  I'm not desperate for a man to define me, never have been, but I get tired of sleeping alone.  Two of my kids are grown and in serious relationships.  Tommy's the same age as the potential stepchild.  

Suzie:  Two?  Who is Bonnie dating? 

Midna: Everything good?  Anyone need a refill?

McG: Perhaps you can settle an argument for us.  How do you feel about this Mrs. Moneybags program WDLC will be putting on? 

Midna (shrugs): It's not anything I'm interested in.  Seems like a goofy way to get a husband, but I've seen goofier.  

Susan: You agree, then, that there's nothing immoral or unethical about it?

Nancy:  But it's so decidedly unromantic! 

McG:  Not all women can be as fortunate as we are.  Particularly in modern society.  

Nancy:  My daughters are grown, so I can't forbid them, but I have strongly advised against it.  

McG: I'd tell my daughter it's a bad idea if she shows an interest in anything but dinosaurs.  If she ever marries, it's bound to be a Velociraptor.  

The Overlook Formal

Father's Day.  Evening.  The Overlook, event venue at Witch's Cove, reopens after remodeling with a formal ball. 

Nakoma: Welcome to the Overlook, Ms Jones!  Who's your friend? 

Rallee: Nakoma, this is Susan Anthony.  She'll be taking over as principal of the High School.  Susan, this is Nakoma Smith, one of the owners of Witch's Cove.  

Nakoma: Nice to meet you, Ms Anthony.  I think you'll like it here, at least until my little brother reaches the ninth grade.  (to Rallee) I was stunned to hear Dean resigned.  Is it true he got a offer from some fancy private school out west? 

Rallee: East, actually.  I hate to lose him, but we get Ms Anthony, so its a win/win situation.  

Susan: It was fortunate that this event was the same day as my arrival in town.  Superintendent Jones insisted upon my coming, to meet most of the town's leaders.  

Pocahontas: Rose-Grace, how did you escape your husband looking like that?  (To Maren) I don't believe we've met.  I'm Pocahontas Smith and this is my sister Nakoma.  We own the Cove. 

Maren: Maren North.  I was hired to run the Barbieville Museum after Helena's death.  Terrible thing. 

Rose-Grace: Maren's young, but she's fully qualified and has excellent references. 

Maren (blushing): I'm something of a prodigy.  Graduated high school at 12 and dove right into college.  I'm quite driven. 

Susan: Do you have any family enrolled at the high school? 

Maren: Not yet.  That is, my younger sisters haven't been registered.  They'll be arriving later this week with my brother.  

Susan: I look forward to meeting them.

John: The mayor's got a whole brood.  (To Pocahontas) How many of them are in high school now?  Two? 

Pocahontas: I think just Taylor.  Maybe Nikki, too.  

John: We can ask Finnick if we can tear him away from Nakoma.  (To Susan) He's one of the brood in question.  

Susan: Don't bother the young couple.  

Nakoma: I can't believe Tanner and Whitney didn't come.  What's wrong with them, anyway? 

Finnick: He's right.  Even if he proposed to her all public like you suggested, Esperanza's still gonna think what she wants.  Want me to propose to you all public?  I'll do it. 

Nakoma: No, you idiot.  Get back to me when you finish trade school, though.  

The sisters spot more guests arriving and hurry to greet them.  

Pocahontas: Dean quit?  The Mellarks are moving?  What the hell, girl? 

Nakoma: I figured Midna told you, since she's lost her bookkeeper.  Peeta is moving in with the Carsons, but both the girls are going with Dean and Violet. One of the Rhee boys did bookkeeping for their parents' restaurant, so he'll be taking Violet's job. 

Pocahontas: She did mention Violet had given her two-weeks notice, but Violet's such a crabby thing, I figured she just got fed up with Midna.  Didn't know the whole family was skipping town.  (To the new arrivals)  Welcome to The Overlook!

Finnick: Why are you looking so sour?  

Albus: I hate all this fancy stuff.  Tried to bail, but the girls said I had to be here as head of Rides and Maintenance. 

Finnick: Relax, man.  Enjoy the scenery.  Nakoma is looking hot as hell. 

Albus: Nakoma's practically my kid, you sicko.  But you're right.  Lots of eye candy walking around here tonight.  You're looking pretty good, come to think of it. 

Finnick: Stay in your lane, old man.  I'm straight and spoken for.  

John: Finally I get you on the dance floor.  

Pocahontas: This is a work thing for me, you know.  I really shouldn't be taking time to enjoy my handsome husband.  Even if he does look much better since he quit going to Albus's barber.  

John: Albus has a barber?  (both laugh) I was due, though.  The long hair was easier, but I look safer to the parents that trust me with their kids.  And I can tell you like it short.  (whispers in her ear) 

Pocahontas: Later, I promise. 

 

Back To School Prep

 

Mayor Rose-Grace Pike meets with Superintendent Rallee Jones to make a public statement.

Rose-Grace:  Superintendent Jones, welcome.  I'll give the floor to you right away.  The citizens of Barbieville School District have been waiting for our decision since the pandemic began.  

Rallee: It's not been an easy one, that's for certain!  It really is a no win situation, I'm afraid. 

Rallee (to the assembled press):  Even though Barbieville has been fortunate during the pandemic - thanks to the cooperation of our citizens - facing the coming school year is a challenge.  Marcus Eaton, director of Doll County Hospital and Affiliated Medicine, has met with educators and toured the schools in an effort to create the best plan possible.  (checks her notes)  For the sake of preventing illness, the remote learning we implemented in the spring is ideal, but the simple truth is that it creates a burden on parents.  Many of Barbieville's families are unable to work from home or to quit their jobs. 

Reporter: Shouldn't the safety of their children be more important than their jobs? 

Rallee (sharply): It is quite difficult to keep a home without an income.  Homeless children are hardly safe. (ignoring murmurs from the press)  We will be continuing the remote learning for those families who prefer it.  I personally suggest taking advantage of that option if possible.  However, for those families who need or prefer in-person schooling, we will be opening the buildings.  This hybrid approach is only made possible by the extreme dedication of our teachers, including those who are usually substitutes.  We are aware that social distancing guidelines cannot be met perfectly, but we are doing what we can, and strict mask procedures will be in place.  Further information is provided on the school board's website.  

*****

At Windu Acres, that evening.

Stacie: Why's my stuff gotta be what moves?  

Nikki: Because your stuff is easiest to move and it takes up the most room.  Besides, you'll get to use Grammy's sewing table with us.  I can teach you how to sew when Taylor isn't working on a project for Home Ec. 

Stacie: I gotta go help Grandpa in the barn.  You better not throw anything away.

McG: Why does that child think you'd throw her things away? 

Nikki:  We did before.  It was pretty rude of us, but we've apologized a million times.  It was a bunch of toys she never played with.

Taylor: She's a hoarder, I swear.  Orlando and Samara play with that dollhouse more than she does.  Anakin plays with the dolls more than she does, the weirdo.  

McG: There is nothing wrong with boys liking dolls. Maybe he'll be the next Giorgio Armani.

Taylor: I hope not!  He might mess with Grammy's sewing stuff!  

Nikki: I'm so glad Grandpa Mace still had it.  Grammy made all Mom's clothes, back in the day.  (to McG) Did you ever sew?

McG: I mend things.  (hears someone calling her) I better see what that's about.

Candy:  How do you feel about the school thing?  As a mother and as an educator?

McG: Oh, dear.  Candy, it really isn't my place to say anything.  

Candy: Just your opinion.  You know I've always respected your opinion.  And they want mine even though I'm not the custodial parent. 

McG: You're the mother of four of them.  Well, two of them are grown, but still --  Honestly, this virus is horrible, but it really doesn't seem to spread much differently than influenza.  They've been taught the "Germ Rules", so I honestly believe the only one you need to worry about is Fred, since he's so young and might forget the precautions.  

Candy: Even adults forget the precautions.  That's how you ended up with so many grandchildren. 

McG: Ah, but my grandchildren are wiser than their parents were.  (leaves, chuckling) 

Candy: She's got me there.  I'm just scared, you guys.  I've had assignments where I saw what this virus can do and I hate to think of any of my babies going through that.  Or yours, Rose-Grace.  

Rose-Grace: Mine are yours and vice versa.  Co-parenting, right? 

Pike: We've had no cases in Barbieville, and only a few in the county.  Marcus says the Med Center is ready.  And I've been telling you for years, we can only do so much to protect them.  (to Rose-Grace) One of the things we fought a lot about when we were married.  She's very over-protective.

Rose-Grace: Well, I suggest we leave it up to the kids who can grasp the enormity of the situation.  Explain the risks and benefits of each option and let the girls decide.  Fred's the only one I'd divided on.  He's smart as a whip, but still...  he's in kindergarten. 

Candy: They walk to school, across the back pasture,  when weather permits, so we don't need to worry so much about germs on the bus.  I guess it's really gonna come down to what the girls decide.  If they go, I can't imagine telling him he can't.  

Pike: They can adopt my after-work routine.  Directly into the shower from the front door while whoever is already home wipes down their books.  (stands up)  Let's go talk to them.