Zenobia: Welcome to another, long overdue, edition of Zenobia's Vlog. We're the only openly biased news source in Barbieville, Doll County, and possibly the universe. First I want to apologize for the long absence -- we were moving into the new place. It doesn't help a lot that it's been a slow news day since the arrest of our arsonist... but today I've got three guests and a new set! Let's jump right in with Marcus Eaton, about a new resident to town.
Marcus: I can't tell you a lot. Doctor/Patient Confidentiality, you understand.
Zenobia: Of course. Local girl Charlotte Jackson, nee Gordon, has returned with her billionaire husband. William Jackson is in a coma, is that correct?
Marcus: I feel safe confirming that since it's been all over the press. It's my understanding that Mrs. Jackson feels our facilities will provide the best possible care for her husband. Mr. Jackson is not expected to recover, so she probably takes some comfort in coming home during his final illness.
Zenobia: Does his family visit frequently?
Marcus: I can't really comment on that. I try to focus on his medical care only.
Zenobia: Boo. You aren't much help on the gossip front, are you?
Marcus (laughing): I told you I wouldn't be. I can tell you, though, that your roomie's boyfriend has gone for the summer to finish his apprenticeship with his grandfather. When he returns in the fall, he'll be a licensed tattoo artist.
Zenobia: My next guest is Pocahontas Nedakh, owner of the local amusement park, which has gone through some changes recently.
Pocahontas: Just a name change and a new coaster. Well, and the fire that took out our haunted house. But I guess considering Mom didn't change a thing since opening the place thirty years ago...
Zenobia: What's the story on the coaster? My sister was very upset that she didn't get to ride it yet.
Pocahontas: She isn't the only one. We had it scheduled to open for Independence Day but the train was late in arriving and does not meet my specifications. Albus wants to open with the train we have - it's perfectly safe - but I'm a perfectionist.
Zenobia: Are you rebuilding the haunted house?
Pocahontas: Actually, we're going to turn the wild west railway into a spooky railway. Maybe combine the two concepts. That one's still in the planning stage. The original structure was too damaged by fire to be salvaged.
Zenobia: You got any good gossip for me? How's your love life?
Pocahontas blushes and declines to comment.
Zenobia: Last but never least, our beloved mayor, Rose-Grace Pike.
Rose-Grace: Thanks for having me on. I'd like to address complaints in the media about Barbieville's lack of a Pride event. Many people out there seem to think we did not host one because we're not supportive of that community.
Zenobia: Which is just nonsense. If I were so inclined, I could name several members of that community who love it here. I'm bisexual, myself, and have never had an issue in or from this town.
Rose-Grace: Frankly, we did not sponsor a Pride event because of the behavior of many participants, sadly the majority.
Zenobia: Could you be more specific?
Rose-Grace: I'm not sure how to phrase it in anything close to family-friendly language. (Thinks for a moment.) Simulated sex acts. Adult toys worn as fashion accessories. That sort of thing. Since none of those behaviors actually break the law, we are powerless to stop them, but the movement isn't about those things. It's about love.
Zenobia: Would a private citizen be welcome to host one? Because a private citizen can dictate rules of behavior that the town can't?
Rose-Grace: I don't see why not. A lot of our homes and businesses had smaller events, or even just flew the rainbow flag. We had one at City Hall. A flag, that is.
Zenobia: I might throw something together next year. You in?
Rose-Grace: Absolutely. Are you gonna ask me for gossip now? Because all I have for you is that the Darlings are taking a trip to meet Brent Spiner's family -- he's been dating Kyra since shortly after the election -- and my girls are going to a family reunion with their father's people.
Zenobia: Everyone already knows all that. Well, maybe not my subscribers in Timbuktu.
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