Our story opens at the day care center.
Freddy: I got a noun-cement! Tomorrow at my house we're having a sex party!
Ty: A WHAT?!
Wilma: He means a party to find out what kind of baby his step mommy is having.
Jenny: Well, duh. A people baby. (giggles) Ty, sex means boy or girl. You are the boy sex and I am the girl sex.
Ty: My daddy says that word is gender. Sex means what you do to make the baby.
Bobby: They're cinnamon. They mean the same thing.
Kelly: Ty! You quit pushing me!
Ty: Well, I thought they was doing nasty stuff at Freddy's house. It's my turn anyway.
Vivica: No, it's my turn! You two been hogging the swing!
Candy: I can't believe you talked Pike into letting me throw you this party.
Kyra: She's a politician. She can talk anyone into anything.
Rose-Grace: You're just mad because I talked you out of quitting last fall.
Candy: What happened last fall?
Kyra: A zoning dispute that got really nasty. Lots of verbal abuse when all I could do was take calls and deliver messages. One side wanted to preserve the old theater and the other wanted it gone because it was an eyesore - it collapsed and solved the problem for us.
Candy: I missed all that. I was on assignment in Indonesia and came back to find the new playground!
Rose-Grace: Well, we didn't. It was a nightmare. (changes the subject) Pike just didn't like the idea of someone knowing the sex before we did. Frodo actually came up with the idea of doing it this way.
Candy: I just love throwing a party. Any excuse will do.
John: I hope you don't mind that I came uninvited. Freddy insisted that I had to see what kind of babies were going to be joining my day care.
Rose-Grace: The kids were allowed to invite people. You're fine.
John: I saw an awful lot of teenagers helping to set up. They were up to something.
Rose-Grace: Finnick's got a thing for Nakoma Nedakh and they conspired to have her help him take the horses to the back field. I think the whole town's playing matchmaker.
John: Speaking of making matches, who is the woman with the green stripe in her hair?
Rose-Grace: Candy? She's the mother of my stepchildren. We've become good friends, which is nice. Low drama with the ex.
John: Is she seeing anyone?
Rose-Grace: She's not interested in dating. Completely focused on her photojournalism career.
John: Bummer.
Rose-Grace: When I started dating again, I tried too hard and made some mistakes. Mistakes that hurt my kids. Don't do that to Roxy and Kelly. I wasn't looking for a man when I met a keeper.
John: Good point. Lots of pressure to get back out there, though. My buddies trying to set me up, stuff like that.
Rose-Grace: Where do you think I met my mistakes?
Finnick: Thanks for helping me with the horses, Nakoma. I can't believe how lazy those guys are.
Nakoma: Honestly, do you not know what they're up to? Mariko and Whitney at least tell me up front what they're doing. They know you like me. They're trying to help you get up the nerve to do something about it.
Finnick: I'll kill them.
Nakoma: Don't you dare. I would have told them to stay back there if they hadn't done it.
Finnick (still clueless): Why?
Nakoma: Because I like you, too, you big dummy. One of us has to get past being so shy if we're going to ever date. (She grabs him and lays a lip lock on him.) Idiot.
Finnick (stunned): What?
Nakoma: Finnick, we like each other. The whole town knows it. It's time we admit it to each other.
Finnick: Um... Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?
Nakoma: Oh, my God, you are such a dork! Yes, Finnick, I am asking you to be my boyfriend. Or go steady. Or date. Whatever they call it nowadays.
Whitney: Are we even getting paid for this gig?
Zenobia (snickers): Finnick is.
Tanner: Hey, finally growing a pair and asking Nakoma out has nothing to do with this gig. And no, we aren't getting paid. Unless you count a free meal.
Whitney: As if. Nakoma's the one that grew a pair.
Zenobia: What?! Finnick, you waited around til she asked you out?
Finnick (uncomfortable): Hey, it's the twenty-first century. Girls can ask guys out if they want.
Whitney: Especially if the guy is a coward.
Tanner: I'm just glad one of them finally jumped the other's bones. I was ready to lock them in a room with some Barry White tunes.
Finnick: Hey, no bones were jumped. We have morals!
Tanner: Chill, bro. Just giving you a hard time.
Time for the big reveal!
Pike: I hope this thing falls like it's supposed to and not on our heads.
Rose-Grace: It isn't heavy enough to hurt anything but our pride.
Pike: That's what I'm worried about. I've seen "Gender Reveal Party Fails".
Stacie: I hope it's a girl. I already have a little brother.
Tanner: The whole thing's embarrassing. They're old enough to be grandparents.
Taylor: Our parents love each other, how can that be embarrassing?
Nikki: Well, it's one thing to know they're doing it. It's a whole other thing to have, you know, proof.
Taylor: You guys suck. I think it's beautiful.
Nakoma: This is so exciting! I just love babies!
Freddy: When you and Finnick get married, you can have lots of them and I will babysit.
Finnick: Whoa, sport! Getting a little ahead of yourself there - we're only been a couple, like, two hours.
Freddy (ignoring Finnick): When you have babies, will they be white babies or papooses?
Nakoma (both amused and shocked): The baby in Rose-Grace's belly right now has different color parents, but it's just a baby, right? The word papoose isn't from my language, anyway. There's lots of different tribes, you know.
Freddy: Really?
Finnick: Dad and Step Mom are ready to pull the ribbons. Nakoma will tell you all about it later.
Kyra: It's a hermaphrodite?
Zenobia: Can you be transgender while still in the womb?
Rose-Grace (laughing at every one's confusion): It's twins! A boy and a girl!
Taylor: More twins? Aren't those two bad enough?
Tanner pushes Taylor off the bench they're sitting on.
Freddy: Least they ain't dent-cull. We can tell them apart easy!
Stacie: They could still be identical.
Rose-Grace: No, identical twins are always the same sex. They could still look an awful lot alike, though. (To Freddy) How did you know that? I'm proud of you.
Freddy: Mister John gived me a book. Nikki readed it to me.
As the party winds down, Candy insists on some more-or-less formal photos. The whole family poses under the reveal banner.
Freddy: Step-Mommy? What color will the new babies be?
Rose-Grace: It's hard to say. Maybe black like me, maybe white like Daddy.
Freddy: Maybe one will be whiter than the other and then we can tell them apart real easy?
Pike: Let's hope so. Finnick and Tanner were a nightmare. (laughs) Sometimes they still are.
The twins: Bite me, Dad.
Finnick and Nakoma pose for Candy, too. Nakoma is much more into it than he is. He's still a bit stunned by how his day turned out.
Candy: See, Pike? That wasn't painful at all, was it?
Pike: It was all right. Once I got my way about knowing before the rest of the world.
Candy (joking): That's why I divorced you. Always gotta have your way.
Pike: I got my way about Nakoma, too. I've been telling that boy for months now to ask her out.
Candy: I think he's too young for a serious relationship.
Rose-Grace: You were his age when you had him.
Candy: Exactly. I ended up divorced. And I'm not ready to be a grandmother.
Pike: We've told our sons condoms exist. That's more than our parents did for us. They also hear about the problems we had and how much better Rose-Grace's first marriage was because they waited until they were a bit older and more educated.
Candy: I know. And I trust you to be a good dad. Gave you custody, didn't I?
Pike: I thought you did that so you could gallivant all over the planet taking pictures.
Candy (laughs): That, too, but I knew you were up to the job. Just, he's always gonna be my baby, you know?
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