***A word of caution. Today's episode deals with death.***
Our story opens in the Mayor's Office.
Brent: I've got some information on KBV. My source found the contact number on some paperwork in American Splendor's back room and --
Rose-Grace: I'm going to kill Candy.
Brent: Why would you kill Candy? She isn't my source.
Rose-Grace: Either way, Brent, we can't do anything with illegally obtained information. KBV could press charges against us and blow the election for us both. We need to --
Kyra (entering): Sorry to interrupt your meeting, but you have an urgent phone call. I'll see Mr. Spiner out. You'll want to take the call in private.
Rose-Grace: Has something happened to one of the kids?
Kyra: Not the kids. Mr. Spiner, if you'll follow me.
Brent: Of course.
Across town, in the manager's office at Barbieville Grocery, Ben Kishi finalizes the paperwork for a new and better job.
Ben: Thank you so much. I was just hoping to get a job stocking shelves!
Pike: You're just a few credits away from your business degree. I've got a call in to the head office about helping you finish that degree, but in the meantime Batgirl can show you the ropes. She's my head cashier.
Batgirl: I can't speak for the boss, but I was livid when my girls told me what Violet did to you. Her loss is our gain.
Ben: Claudia will be thrilled. She blames herself for my quitting college. And for Violet firing me.
Pike: You made a lot of sacrifices for her. Claudia's lucky to have you.
Pike's cell phone goes off.
Pike: I better take this. Rose-Grace doesn't call during the work day.
Batgirl: We'll leave you to it.
The kids come in from school to find their parents and Fred waiting for them. They have company.
Rose-Grace: Sit down. We have news.
Fred: Grampa Mace is here!
Tanner: Yes, we see Grandpa Mace. He's a little hard to miss.
Fred: Grammy went to Heaven.
Taylor (crying): No, she's supposed to be getting better! That's why you went to live there.
Mace: Sweetheart, there was no getting better. We moved there so she could live out the rest of her life at home. I couldn't take care of her all by myself.
Nikki: No. Not yet.
Stacie: She hasn't even been my grandma that long!
Mace: Boys, I have ask you for a favor. Grandma donated her body to science, but we're going to have a service for her. After our pastor speaks, I'd like for one of you to say a few words. She was so proud of loving you just like you were blood.
Tanner: You're doing us a favor by asking.
Finnick: What my brother means to say is that it would be an honor.
Tanner: And what my brother means to say is Tanner's going to do it because Finnick is a wuss. You know Nakoma had to ask him out?
At the funeral home, Tanner starts his speech with a chuckle.
Tanner: At the risk of offending people, I gotta say it. Grandma was a hottie in her youth. (Scattered awkward laughter from those listening.) This picture was taken on her wedding day. We had to crop Grandpa out so his giant Afro wouldn't steal the spotlight.
Mace: It's true.
Tanner: Seriously, though. When my dad married Rose-Grace, Grandma sent out fake birth announcements for her four new grandchildren. She never qualified it by saying we were stepchildren. She never held it against us that we didn't carry her DNA. "As if that matters" she'd say. (blinking back tears) She was only my Grandma for a couple of years, but she's gonna be with me forever.
Pike hurries home to take the horses in for the evening. He finds a familiar face there.
Pike: Dad? What are you doing here?
Lee: My son lost his mother-in-law. What do you think I'm doing here?
Pike: Is Mom with you?
Lee: No, but she sends her love. I stopped at the service, but it was already breaking up, so I just came out here. Didn't want to be rude.
Inside, later
Rose-Grace: Candy! You came home early!
Candy: I'm only here overnight. I wasn't going to stay away if you needed me. (Takes a seat)
Lee (coldly): Candy.
Candy: Lee, how are you?
Lee: We're fine. Is your career going well?
Candy: Can we not do this? It's been almost five years.
Mace: Whoa, man, are you mad at her for divorcing your boy?
Lee: She abandoned her children.
Candy: Oh, I did not.
Mace: It's not like she dumped them on the roadside. She knew they were in good hands. She's there for them if they need her. She's just not the day-to-day Momma type.
Candy: Thank you, Mace.
Lee: You do have a point. If she were still his wife, Rose-Grace wouldn't be.
Mace: Samara and Orlando wouldn't exist. You gotta admit those two make the world a better place.
Lee: Another valid point. (laughs) Now, someone please explain to me this Keep Barbieville Virtuous nonsense.
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