Holiday Drama, Already

Saturday morning, The Pike house.

Candy: I can't get over how light Samara still is.  I think I'm darker than her!

Rose-Grace: Well, seeing that we're all Americans, it's possible I carry that blond gene.  And sometimes I think you aren't entirely Caucasian.  What was your maiden name?

Candy: My maiden name was Barr.  Yes, Candy Barr.  That's the least of the reasons I went into foster care.  My parents were -- 

They're interrupted by Stacie coming into the room.  

Candy:  Ready to go?  Where's Fred?

Stacie: I decided I don't want to go, now that I know the truth about Santa. (The moms exchange a look.)  You know, that it's really Nikki and Taylor's teacher.  

Rose-Grace: They told you it's Mr. Guinness?

Stacie: Well, I kinda overheard them.  Nikki explained about how he's helping the real Santa out.  It's really nice of him, but I just feel weird about sitting on a teacher's lap.  

Rose-Grace: You didn't tell Fred, did you? 

Stacie:  I'll just say I think I'm too big.  Is that okay?  

Candy: That's a terrific idea.  (Stacie leaves.)  Wow.  There for a second I thought I was gonna be the insane ex and snatch your daughters bald. 

Rose-Grace: Some punk sent them home crying.  They were in second and third grade.  They swore right then and there to never ever tell a younger kid.

Candy: It was a good save, though.  Nikki's a quick thinker.

Fred: How will they tell Santa what they want?  They can't talk yet.

Candy: I'm not sure.  What do you think, Rose-Grace? 

Rose-Grace: I don't think they care.  I just want to get a picture of the three of you with Santa.  

Candy:  Not three separate ones?

Rose-Grace:  We mustn't be greedy.  Santa's a busy guy. 

Santa (AKA Guinness):  You'll have to help me hold your little brother.

Fred: I'm a good baby holder.  I never drop them, ever.  Stacie dropped me once.  Right on my head, Tanner said.  

Candy: She never even held you because those boys had her terrified.  

Santa:  Ho, ho, ho!  Sounds like Tanner likes to tease you.

Fred: Please don't take away any presents from him!  It's the big brother's job to pick on.  

Across town, it's time to film at Zenobia's apartment. 

Zenobia:  Welcome to Zenobia's Vlog, your only openly biased news source in Barbieville and maybe even Doll County.  I've got two guests today and one of them has violated my Christmas-themed dress code.  He will be punished.

Zenobia: My first guest is Becky from KBV.  Keep Barbieville Virtuous stirred things up during the election before being tracked down and exposed by Esmeralda Eaton.  

Becky: Yes, and we made a public apology for the trouble our exercise in propaganda caused.  Shortly afterwords, though, it became obvious that my partner in crime did not mean it.  She said that's how politics works - you get caught, apologize, then be more careful in the future.  

Zenobia: She was recently arrested for, among other things, stalking several prominent citizens of Barbieville.  She was collecting information for future smear campaigns, correct?

Becky: It certainly looks that way, but since I haven't spoken to her since shortly after the public apology, I really can't say for sure.  

Zenobia: My second guest is Ben Kishi, ironically one of those most impacted by KBV.  Ben is a student at the university and assistant manager at the Barbieville Grocery.

Ben: It's actually thanks to KBV that I have that job and the chance to finish my degree.  But that's not why I'm here.  I'm putting together a support group for people who have guardianship of younger relatives, ones that aren't their kids.  There are groups for relatives with 'parent' in the job description.

Zenobia: You have custody of your sister Claudia.

Ben: Right.  My tentative name for the group was Siblings Raising Siblings, but there's been a lot of interest from people that doesn't really fit.  Cousins, Aunts and Uncles...  

Becky:  We're a demographic that's fallen through the cracks.  

Zenobia (surprised):  We?  

Becky: My family is currently fighting over custody of the children in question.  That's why I didn't want you to give my last name. Sharing the truth about Clara is one thing...  

Zenobia:  Consider your privacy protected.  Now, Ben, about your punishment.  I think you should wear a hot pink ribbon in that spectacular man bun for, let's say, a week?  

After filming and uploading her vlog, Zenobia hurries to the Pike house for rehearsal.  The band actually has a gig soon!  

Nakoma: I still can't believe these crazy round beds. 

Tanner: I'm too sexy for a square bed. Why are you here, anyway?  You aren't in the band.

Nakoma:  I'm a groupie?  

Nakoma: Seriously, I had to get out of the house.  We took Anakin to see his mom for Thanksgiving.  Went to a lot of trouble and guess what?  His mother got mad at us for even celebrating Thanksgiving!  She called us race traitors!  Anakin told us they'd never done Thanksgiving, but we sure didn't expect that reaction.  There's still so much tension in the air at home...

Whitney: And I thought the fit Wendy had because Mom had Brent over for dinner was bad.  

Zenobia: You know, Nakoma, if you're a groupie, the whole band gets to have their way with you. I mean, I dunno about Whitney and Tanner, but I'm game.  

Nakoma (not sure if Zenobia is joking): Um mm....  well..... in that case, I think I'll go over to Mariko's or something.