Story Seven: Meet The Candidates

Barbieville Museum, a month after the interrupted Mayoral Debate

Brent:  The first matter we'd like to address is the Keep Barbieville Virtuous campaign.  Both Mayor Pike and I have seen the materials being released by this group and we've agreed, after this date, to ignore the questions brought up.  They are based, at best, in ignorance.  

Rose-Grace: I was prepared to come in here with a stack of documentation.  (laughs)  It wasn't planned - the museum happened to set up our podium here - but it's rather ironic that I'm standing in front of JFK.  I wonder what Keep Barbieville Virtuous makes of him.

Brent: That said, we'd like to move on to your questions.  Everyone here should be aware of our positions on the various issues.  Please stand and wait for us to acknowledge you before speaking.

Esmeralda: I have a couple of things I'd like to comment on.  The first is some people claim that Barbieville's government is racist.  I'm Rom - a gypsy - and this town welcomed me with open arms.  I've had a few problems with individuals, but never with the authorities. (waits while people applaud)  The second is the notion that the mayor will take our property by force so the amusement park can expand.  My husband couldn't come because he was needed at the hospital, but my boys and I are here in support of Mayor Pike.  We're in negotiations with the park now and she has stayed out of it.    

PJ: I beg to differ.  My dental practice nearly closed permanently because the city seized the property I was leasing.  My building was up to code and there was no reason to seize it.

Rose-Grace: Did you receive compensation for relocation?

PJ: Well, yes, but...

Rose-Grace: Am I correct in assuming yours was one of the properties along the Beach Highway?

PJ: Yes, it was.

Rose-Grace: The structures that were up to code, presumably including yours, were in danger from the imminent collapse of the larger buildings surrounding them.  The land owner was given years to take down the hazards and did not do so.  

Brent begins to wonder if he was off-base in running against this woman.  Most of his platform is based on combating Imminent Domain.  But if she acted to protect the citizens of Barbieville, was she wrong to seize the property? 

Pocahontas: My mother was against expanding the park at all.  The very idea that she wanted to do that, or that she'd rope Rose-Grace into it, is an insult to her memory.  In fact, Mom met Rose-Grace when the former mayor tried to take people's land for profit.  Rose-Grace was a high schooler then and worked with Mom to stop the entire north side of town from becoming a multi-lane highway.  Mom could have made a lot of money from that, but she loved this town more.

Midna: My question has nothing to do with any of that.  A lot of my employees are worried about school shootings and police brutality.  What can be done about those issues?  

Rose-Grace: Our children are as safe at school as they are anywhere.  I have faith in the existing security features there. Despite what you might see in the news, school shootings are rare.  Horrific, but rare.  As for the police brutality, any incidents of that sort in my jurisdiction will not be tolerated.

Sulu: I can vouch for that.  I was pulled over for speeding and the cop called me a slant-eyed jackass.  He almost lost his job over it. (laughs) I still had to pay the ticket, though. 

Rose-Grace: Of course you did.  You mistook Main Street for the Autobahn. 

Sulu: Anyway, that was just words.  Pretty sure a cop that got physical would be unemployed real fast.  Maybe even arrested, himself.

There are no further questions from the floor, so the candidates make their closing statements.  Watching the crowd chat as they leave, Brent once again wonders if this campaign was a mistake.  

July Haul, including some DIY

I know it's a bit early for July Haul, but I'm going to be busy until August!  Also, I'm only planning these "Haul" posts for the first six months of the blog - just to give readers an idea of what I use.   Any major finds will still get a post, but not all the little bits.  

Ben's noggin really bothered me - the sheer size of it and the cartoonish features.  Since he only appeared in one story, and that as an extra, I can head swap him pretty easily.  The body does have a slightly rosier skin tone, but it's pretty close.  The combination of  man bun and fingerless gloves gives Ben character.  (Why all the man bun hate, anyway?)  I didn't choose the noggin because he was Asian.  I don't do diversity for its own sake.  But hey! 

Mariko enjoying the new chairs on the deck.  These are actually meant for cell phones.

Cacti, bamboo, and colorful rubber bands.  My hair gets colorful bands, why not theirs?  The various sets for my stories can benefit from a (fake) potted plant or two.  

A daybed made from a "cigar box", electrical tape, and wrapping paper.  

Finnick: I really like your new bed.

Fred: It's too little for you but I got lots of growing room!

Finnick: Comes in handy for keeping those stuffies off the floor, too.

Diner booth made from heavy cardboard, paperboard, contact paper, wrapping paper, and duct tape.

I hope someone is a better cook or waitress than photographer.  Off with their heads!

Ben: Oh, no, not again! 

Dancing Skeletons!

Yard sales are great for finding bargains.  At the same yard sale where I got a Gazelle  (not the animal, the exercise thing) I found a shirt with this pattern.  There was no way the shirt would fit me, but one thing I keep an eye out for is holiday stuff for my dolls.  I figured the sleeves would make tube dresses for my Pocahontas Twins, if nothing else.

Seriously, how could I not bring these guys home?  My favorites are the ones playing Leap Frog.  Backwards, even.  They just look so happy.  We living could learn from them.  

I got out my sewing kit and my handy-dandy pattern (bastardized from My Froggy Stuff) and got to sewing!  I'm no seamstress.  I can make it strong or I can make it attractive.  Sometimes when I watch her DIY videos, I yell at Froggy.  "How do you do that, woman?!  I'd be blind and cross-eyed!"  

The pattern is a tank top.  The hole in the center is the neck.  This way I avoid sleeves and my seams are usually hidden.  Luckily, this material isn't the fraying type, so I didn't need my April Lilly lace trick.  Thanks, Froggy and April, for having ideas I can steal!  

I started with the biggest project.  Rusty has a Halloween shirt, but her britches/skirt supply is lacking.  I basically just wrapped a piece of appropriate size around her, put elastic through the pre-existing hem (bottom of the original shirt), and sewed the back shut.  Since my BOUSs are just for display, no one is likely to see the hideous seam.  

The tube dresses looked horrible.  The cuff at the wrist was the bodice and instead of looking empire waisted, it looked like a maternity dress.  I sacrificed some length, removed the cuffs, and used my pattern.  On these, instead of the sides being sewn, the tops of the shoulders are.  The seams actually turned out okay.  One is also sewn down a side - I did not center the pattern on the "tube" and it ended up lop-sided.  I had to take it in.  It's still full enough to effectively hide the seam, though.  The belts are pony-tail holders.

I vary from the pattern a bit.  The guys are all modeling the standard cut, of various length.  Since my dudes are of varying size, I make them a little large.  Or try to.  My first attempt was skin-tight on Joe and almost reached his belly button!

I was running out of large enough sections to fit the adults.  No problem, I just down-sized the pattern!  Nikki is modeling a square-cut shirt.  Maybe I should call it a smock?  Stacie has a cute little sundress.  Have I mentioned those bent arms really annoy me?  

Tris has a skirt with a wonky waist line - to accommodate larger waistlines on her friends.  

Remember my first attempt?  Tris wears it well.

When Barbie was created, the fashions were extremely detailed.  Home workers hand sewed them.  Perfectly.  Props to them - I spent a few hours, off and on, doing a poor job with little detail, and I'm ready for a hot soak in the tub, some "headache pills", and maybe even some muscle rub.  

My dolls better appreciate this. 

Monster High and Kelly/Chelsea

I've gone on record as not being a fan of the Monster High dolls.  Barbie gets constant flak about her unrealistic proportions, but Monster High dolls look like a lemon balancing on a bamboo skewer.  I did discover that Monster High clothes will fit certain Barbie-line dolls.  The toddlers.  

Before I go any farther. let me clarify - I am aware they are Monsters and therefore maybe emaciated.  It's actually the disproportion between head and body that bothers me.  I bear no ill will toward fans of the line - I even find the concept intriguing and own MH "stuff", but not dolls.

Vivica's maxi dress was meant to be a mini dress.  Jenny is wearing a shirt as a dress.  Kelly's is a mini dress for Monster High, and a maxi dress for these guys.  I realized upon taking this picture that  Kelly's dress needs altered.   (Vivica is a Chelsea and so a bit taller.)

Now, here's the thing - these clothes are a reasonable, if snug, fit on their intended wearers.  They're quite tight on the Barbie toddlers, as if the parents don't have the heart to throw out favorite dresses that are being outgrown.  So the Monster High dolls are actually skinnier than Barbie toddlers!  

Kelly's dress after my alterations.  No toddler cleavage on my watch!  Removed the lower ruffle to make it short enough - the remaining ruffle still gives the shorter tots a Morticia Addams look, but they can just walk carefully.  Like Morticia. 

Anyway, on to my point with this entire rant.  I found Elissabat in a yard sale and  I bought her specifically for her cute dress.  She went into my yard sale bin after a good cleaning and I dressed Vivica in her clothes.  She looked really cute from the front, no alterations needed.

And this happened.  The Monster High body mold has been changed?!  They're even skinner now?!  Seriously?!  I'm so mad even though I'm only out 50 cents.  I'm keeping the bat-shaped cake pops, at least.  

Story Six: The Babies Are Coming!

Early morning, Pike Household, Barbieville

Taylor:  Why are you all dressed up?  Aren't you on maternity leave?

Rose-Grace: The Mayoral Candidate Debate was scheduled months ago, at the museum.  Rather than reschedule, I agreed to work today for just a couple of hours.  I should be home by lunch.

Taylor: Mom, you work too hard.  

Rose-Grace:  I have an important job. (changes the subject) Don't let Freddy eat that leftover cake for breakfast.

Taylor:  Ha!  Me and Stacie ate the last of it.  We barely got any of it.  

Rose-Grace: How you stay slim eating the way you do is beyond me.  

At the museum, Rose-Grace is going over her notes when Kyra comes in.  She's holding a pamphlet.

Kyra:  Have you seen this?  (reading)  Rose-Grace Pike deserted Barbieville for a more glamorous world and returned with two children and no husband. 

Rose-Grace:  WHAT?!  Let me see that thing!  (reads silently)  Well, the facts are accurate, but twisted almost beyond recognition.  I left for college, married, and was a widow when I came back.  I didn't force my parents into a nursing home - they chose to get an assisted living apartment.

Kyra: This is maybe the worst smear campaign I've ever seen on a local level.  

As soon as the opponent arrives, Rose-Grace and Kyra confront him.  He reads it in confusion.

Brent:  You think I did this?

Kyra: You're the only one running against her.

Brent:  (reads from pamphlet)  Paid for by Keep Barbieville Virtuous.  This isn't me, ladies, I'm pretty sure my life doesn't meet their standards, either.  

Kyra: I'm sorry, Mister Spiner.  We shouldn't have jumped to conclusions.

Brent: It was a reasonable assumption.  Like you said, I'm the only opponent that we know of.  

Rose-Grace:  Guys.  My water just broke.

Kyra:  You aren't even having contractions!  

Rose-Grace:  I have been, but they weren't very close together, so I kept quiet about it.  Both my other pregnancies, I was in real labor for hours before my water broke.

Brent:  I'll drive you to the hospital.  Kyra, can you take cancel the debate?

Kyra:  Right after I call her husband.  

Finnick:  I can't get a hold of Mom.  Signal must be bad in the Amazon. 

Taylor: You're calling Dad's ex-wife because his current wife is in labor? 

Finnick: Hey, she's friends with both of them and the mother of four of us.  She has a right to know.

Taylor: Whatever.  

Freddy: Look, Stacie, a whole big magazine about kitties.  Read it to me.

Stacie:  If we have time.  How long does it take to have a baby?

Freddy: I don't know.  How come we don't got a kitty?

Stacie: Because we have three dogs and two horses? 

Finnick: We don't have a cat because Dad's allergic.  (to phone)  Jeez, Mom, pick up!

Nikki:  I googled the name you suggested for the girl baby.  I cannot believe you tricked them into naming her after a horror monster!  

Tanner:  (takes the lap top from her) You talked her into naming her second husband's kid after her first husband.  That's just twisted.  Besides, we just suggested the middle name.  She already had the first name picked out.

Nikki: I saw the look you and Finnick gave Stacie.  The keep-your-mouth-shut look.

Tanner: Oh, come on!  Stacie is totally in on it!   Besides, Step-Mom had already chosen the first name. And it's a very cool horror monster.  

Nikki:  That poor baby....

What seems like an eternity later, Pike returns from the delivery room.  

Pike:  The babies are fine and so is she.  We're allowed to visit her, but only three at a time.  I'll take the youngest kids first.  

Finnick: That's you, Fred.  

Stacie:  Me, too!  

Rose-Grace:  Meet your new brother and sister.

Stacie:  Ooh so cute.  Which one is which?

Freddy: That one looks just like me when I was a baby!  

Pike:  The one with brown hair is the boy.  And I noticed he looks like you, too.  I think the girl looks like her mother.

Stacie: (confused) I thought they'd be browner than they are.

Rose-Grace:  We'll see.  They've not been out in the sun much, you know. (laughs)  You guys go on and let someone else come see them.  

Kyra:  Pike's on the phone with Candy, so I said I'd come back with the girls.  

Rose-Grace:  Really?  I thought one of the twins... 

Taylor:  They were trying this whole time.  They finally reached her and the first thing she did was demand details only Dad knows.  

Nikki:  Mom, I have to tell you something about the girl's name.   

Rose-Grace:  Oh, sweetheart, I know. Where do you think I got the first name?

Taylor:  You knew?!  

Kyra:  She's not really evil anyway.  I feel bad for her.

Rose-Grace:  And that's why we're friends.

  

Tanner:  I brought you this magazine.  You'll want something to do while recovering.

Finnick: I was going to leave the laptop with her.

Rose-Grace: Once you guys leave, I'll probably sleep.  I'm exhausted.  Maybe leave the magazine for me to read when I wake up.  But take the laptop home.  I might accidentally see something a parent shouldn't.  

Tanner:  You think we've got porn on it?

Rose-Grace: I think you're teenage boys.  

Finnick:  That means yes, she thinks we have porn on it.

Dear reader of this blog and followers of this story, meet:  

Orlando Christopher Pike

 and 

Samara Morgan Pike.  

Repurposing is fun!

My friend was given this hand-made jewelry box.  She is happy with the storage she has for what little jewelry she owns, but was reluctant to turn it down and hurt the giver's feelings.  She asked me for suggestions as to its use.

Someone put a lot of time and effort into this.  It's a solid piece of tiny furniture!     

I opened it up to see how the inside was set up.  Five points if you can guess what my first thought (which I blurted out) was!  

My friend laughed and we kept trying to think of how she could use it, but finally we gave up and she let me steal it. I carried it home with glee!  

My dolls have a sauna!

Peeta: Dude, Four, ya could put shorts on for this.  

Four: Or I could just strip down to the plastic.

Peeta: Please don't.

Peeta: What do ya reckon goes in here? There are hooks on the back wall for our robes.  

Four: I could cram you in there.  Or under my bench.

Up to four (no pun intended) adult dolls can squeeze in here at a time.  If they really like each other.  Peeta and Four prefer sitting across from each other.  I think this pose threatens their masculinity.  

Story Five: Gender Reveal Party

Side note before the story begins:  I was debating doing this one - wasn't sure how to pull it off without too much cost or work involved.  That was why Pike's against the idea!  Anyway, I wandered into a thrift store and found a bag of gender reveal stuff for cheap.  Apparently someone up there wants this story!

Our story opens at the day care center.

Freddy: I got a noun-cement!  Tomorrow at my house we're having a sex party!

Ty:  A WHAT?!  

Wilma: He means a party to find out what kind of baby his step mommy is having.  

Jenny:  Well, duh.  A people baby.  (giggles)  Ty, sex means boy or girl.  You are the boy sex and I am the girl sex.  

Ty: My daddy says that word is gender.  Sex means what you do to make the baby. 

Bobby: They're cinnamon.  They mean the same thing.  

Kelly: Ty!  You quit pushing me! 

Ty: Well, I thought they was doing nasty stuff at Freddy's house.  It's my turn anyway. 

Vivica: No, it's my turn!  You two been hogging the swing! 

Candy: I can't believe you talked Pike into letting me throw you this party.  

Kyra: She's a politician.  She can talk anyone into anything.  

Rose-Grace: You're just mad because I talked you out of quitting last fall.  

Candy: What happened last fall?

Kyra: A zoning dispute that got really nasty.  Lots of verbal abuse when all I could do was take calls and deliver messages. One side wanted to preserve the old theater and the other wanted it gone because it was an eyesore - it collapsed and solved the problem for us.  

Candy: I missed all that.  I was on assignment in Indonesia and came back to find the new playground!  

Rose-Grace: Well, we didn't.  It was a nightmare.  (changes the subject) Pike just didn't like the idea of someone knowing the sex before we did.  Frodo actually came up with the idea of doing it this way. 

Candy: I just love throwing a party.  Any excuse will do.

John: I hope you don't mind that I came uninvited. Freddy insisted that I had to see what kind of babies were going to be joining my day care.

Rose-Grace: The kids were allowed to invite people.  You're fine.  

John: I saw an awful lot of teenagers helping to set up.  They were up to something.

Rose-Grace:  Finnick's got a thing for Nakoma Nedakh and they conspired to have her help him take the horses to the back field.  I think the whole town's playing matchmaker. 

John: Speaking of making matches, who is the woman with the green stripe in her hair?

Rose-Grace: Candy?  She's the mother of my stepchildren.  We've become good friends, which is nice.  Low drama with the ex.  

John: Is she seeing anyone?

Rose-Grace: She's not interested in dating.  Completely focused on her photojournalism career.  

John: Bummer.  

Rose-Grace:  When I started dating again, I tried too hard and made some mistakes.  Mistakes that hurt my kids.  Don't do that to Roxy and Kelly.  I wasn't looking for a man when I met a keeper.

John: Good point.  Lots of pressure to get back out there, though.  My buddies trying to set me up, stuff like that.

Rose-Grace: Where do you think I met my mistakes? 

Finnick: Thanks for helping me with the horses, Nakoma.  I can't believe how lazy those guys are.  

Nakoma: Honestly, do you not know what they're up to?  Mariko and Whitney at least tell me up front what they're doing.  They know you like me.  They're trying to help you get up the nerve to do something about it. 

Finnick: I'll kill them.

Nakoma: Don't you dare.  I would have told them to stay back there if they hadn't done it.  

Finnick (still clueless):  Why?

Nakoma: Because I like you, too, you big dummy.  One of us has to get past being so shy if we're going to ever date. (She grabs him and lays a lip lock on him.) Idiot.

Finnick (stunned): What?  

Nakoma: Finnick, we like each other.  The whole town knows it.  It's time we admit it to each other.  

Finnick: Um...  Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?

Nakoma: Oh, my God, you are such a dork!  Yes, Finnick, I am asking you to be my boyfriend.  Or go steady.  Or date.  Whatever they call it nowadays.

Whitney: Are we even getting paid for this gig? 

Zenobia (snickers): Finnick is. 

Tanner: Hey, finally growing a pair and asking Nakoma out has nothing to do with this gig.  And no, we aren't getting paid.  Unless you count a free meal.  

Whitney:  As if.  Nakoma's the one that grew a pair.  

Zenobia:  What?!  Finnick, you waited around til she asked you out?

Finnick (uncomfortable): Hey, it's the twenty-first century.  Girls can ask guys out if they want.

Whitney: Especially if the guy is a coward. 

Tanner: I'm just glad one of them finally jumped the other's bones.  I was ready to lock them in a room with some Barry White tunes.  

Finnick: Hey, no bones were jumped.  We have morals!

Tanner: Chill, bro.  Just giving you a hard time. 

Time for the big reveal!  

Pike:  I hope this thing falls like it's supposed to and not on our heads.

Rose-Grace:  It isn't heavy enough to hurt anything but our pride.  

Pike:  That's what I'm worried about.  I've seen "Gender Reveal Party Fails".

Stacie:  I hope it's a girl.  I already have a little brother.  

Tanner: The whole thing's embarrassing.  They're old enough to be grandparents.  

Taylor: Our parents love each other, how can that be embarrassing?

Nikki: Well, it's one thing to know they're doing it.  It's a whole other thing to have, you know, proof.

Taylor:  You guys suck.  I think it's beautiful. 

Nakoma: This is so exciting!  I just love babies! 

Freddy: When you and Finnick get married, you can have lots of them and I will babysit.

Finnick: Whoa, sport!  Getting a little ahead of yourself there - we're only been a couple, like, two hours. 

Freddy (ignoring Finnick): When you have babies, will they be white babies or papooses?

Nakoma (both amused and shocked): The baby in Rose-Grace's belly right now has different color parents, but it's just a baby, right?  The word papoose isn't from my language, anyway.  There's lots of different tribes, you know.

Freddy:  Really?

Finnick: Dad and Step Mom are ready to pull the ribbons.  Nakoma will tell you all about it later.  

Kyra:  It's a hermaphrodite?

Zenobia: Can you be transgender while still in the womb?

Rose-Grace (laughing at every one's confusion):  It's twins!  A boy and a girl!  

Taylor:  More twins?  Aren't those two bad enough?

Tanner pushes Taylor off the bench they're sitting on.  

Freddy: Least they ain't dent-cull.  We can tell them apart easy!

Stacie:  They could still be identical.

Rose-Grace: No, identical twins are always the same sex.  They could still look an awful lot alike, though.  (To Freddy) How did you know that?  I'm proud of you.

Freddy: Mister John gived me a book. Nikki readed it to me.

As the party winds down, Candy insists on some more-or-less formal photos.  The whole family poses under the reveal banner.  

Freddy:  Step-Mommy?  What color will the new babies be?

Rose-Grace:  It's hard to say.  Maybe black like me, maybe white like Daddy.  

Freddy:  Maybe one will be whiter than the other and then we can tell them apart real easy? 

Pike: Let's hope so.  Finnick and Tanner were a nightmare.  (laughs) Sometimes they still are.

The twins: Bite me, Dad.

Finnick and Nakoma pose for Candy, too.  Nakoma is much more into it than he is.  He's still a bit stunned by how his day turned out.

Candy:  See, Pike?  That wasn't painful at all, was it?

Pike: It was all right.  Once I got my way about knowing before the rest of the world.

Candy (joking): That's why I divorced you. Always gotta have your way. 

Pike: I got my way about Nakoma, too.  I've been telling that boy for months now to ask her out.

Candy: I think he's too young for a serious relationship. 

Rose-Grace: You were his age when you had him.

Candy: Exactly.  I ended up divorced.  And I'm not ready to be a grandmother.

Pike: We've told our sons condoms exist.  That's more than our parents did for us.  They also hear about the problems we had and how much better Rose-Grace's first marriage was because they waited until they were a bit older and more educated. 

Candy: I know.  And I trust you to be a good dad.  Gave you custody, didn't I? 

Pike: I thought you did that so you could gallivant all over the planet taking pictures.

Candy (laughs): That, too, but I knew you were up to the job.  Just, he's always gonna be my baby, you know?