Tris's Bridal Shower

 Note:  Masks in Barbieville are invisible to readers.  

Also some "dirty talk".  Consider yourselves warned.  

Sunburst is closed on Wednesday, but Midna insisted on it being the venue for Tris's bridal shower. 

Tris: I know I insisted on an old-fashioned bridal shower instead of a Bachelorette Party, but now that we're all here, I do have a question for y'all.  Those of you with experience in the area, anyway.  How do I make sure we have a good sex life?  Neither one of us has any clue what we're doing.

 

Zenobia (pretending anger): Oh, I see how you are!  Gotta be a G-rated with the games and decor, but you wanna talk dirty! 

Pern (laughing): I think she's secretly a pervert.

Tris: Seriously.  It's a big deal.  I've been trying to read up on the subject, but... 

Pern: Oh, it's not something you can learn from a book.  I mean, you can learn the biology, but not the stuff you're worried about.  That's personal stuff.

Tris: I've tried to talk to Zenobia about this, but all she ever tells me is to jump his bones.  Esmeralda just keeps saying it'll be fine, but I feel weird pressing his mother for details.  

Zenobia: But here you are, with her sitting right over there. 

Pern: Well, your first time is not gonna be like in the movies.  It's going to be awkward and not real satisfying.  I've never met anyone who had a first time like in the movies.

Tris: Esmeralda did tell us we'll get better with practice. 

Mariko: Communication is the important thing.  (at the others' reaction)  What?  You don't have to be a married mom to know stuff.

Esmeralda: I don't think you've even had a sweetheart in all the time I've known you. 

Whitney: She hasn't.  

Mariko: Sex is just another part of a relationship, and communication is important in any relationship.  You can't expect people to know what you like unless you tell them.  

Violet:  She's right.  (to Mariko)  No offense, but you are the last person I expected that kind of insight from.  

Esmeralda: One thing I always hated is that whole thing, expecting your man to know why you're upset.  This really is just an different version of the idea. (To Mariko)  How did you know that when women my age still haven't figured it out?

Mariko: Osmosis.  My parents are both relationship counselors. Well, psychologists, technically.

Violet (to Tris): Mariko nailed it.  I have nothing to add. 

Esmeralda: Yeah, I don't think anyone can top that.

Zenobia: Now can we do some of these lame party games?  I sweated for hours over a hot printer for these, ya know! 

    

Midna:  Yes, please.  I might have something to contribute in that conversation. 

Zenobia:  The boss has spoken.  (starts to gather materials)  Wait, what?

Midna Takes One For The Team

Violet: As your business manager, I have to object to your advertising a competitor's business, but as a citizen of Barbieville, I understand.  Strange times we're living in. 

Midna: I figure the Changs need the little bit of profit still coming in more than I do.  I'm more upset about doing this to my employees than I am about any hit my pocketbook's gonna take.  

Violet:  Are the Changs doing all right?  Aside from the money, there's so many people blaming this on Asians and Chinese in particular.  

Midna: Well, I guess any racists in Barbieville get to cook for themselves or starve. I vote for starve.

Violet (laughs): You're an evil woman, Midna Sunburst. 

After finally getting into and registering at the Unemployment website, Pern browses free on-line courses.  Knowledge has become Pern's new drug of choice, a vast improvement over her last one!

Nova: Mariko?  Why are you here? 

Mariko: Sunburst is closed for the duration.  I was almost to work when Midna called, so I just turned around and followed Jeremiah home.

Nova: We'll muddle through somehow.  We always do.

Jeremiah: Alex, one of us needs to use your computer while the other uses the family room one.  We hear it's a nightmare to get into Unemployment's website.  You got anything on it you don't want us seeing?

Alex: Not that I can think of.  Why not have Mariko use mine, just in case? 

Jeremiah: Good plan.  She's not your dad.

Nova: Hurry back.  We're doing cornrows.  Lottie's upstairs admiring hers.   We'll do yours, too.  

Frodo: I guess your mom told you we're out of work for a while? 

Four: Yeah.  I was just getting ready to whip Finnick on COD.  You in? 

Frodo: Sure.  Let me pry my little brother off of Youtube.  

Zenobia: Welcome to Openly Biased.  My roomie and I are both out of work due to COVID-19, so my content will be a little different for a while.  We'll talk about current events, of course, but my only guest will probably be Miss Tris here, and we'll share what we're up to! 

Tris: Tomorrow's topic will be "alternatives to pitching your device out the window while trying to apply for Unemployment".

Whitney (sobbing):  What am I gonna do, Mom?  

Kyra:  Honey, it's not that bad.  You aren't paying rent or anything. 

Whitney: Dad just moved into town and this was my chance to show him.  I'm carrying good grades, working a job, and taking care of Wilma.  Everything he's been saying about me is wrong. Now I'm unemployed and not going to school. 

Kyra: You were laid off because of something you have no power over.  You are still doing your schoolwork.  And you don't have anything to prove to Meanie Grandpa, Whitney.  He wrote you off and that's his loss. 

Whitney (still crying, but not as hard): It still hurts so bad, though. 

Kyra: I know, sweetheart, I know.  He wrote me off, too. 

Monday, Monday

Very early Monday morning, Violet arrives at Sunburst to find odd activity.  

Violet: Did you fire me and forget to tell me? 

Midna: Don't be silly.  I,m just getting a head start for you on looking for a new day cook.  

Pern: We found a note taped to the front door when we got here. Apparently Jason got a really good job offer and had to go immediately. 

Violet (angry): He couldn't be bothered to call? 

Midna (to Pern): Is this your friend?

Pern: Yes.  And don't worry, he's been sober for fifteen years.  

Midna (reading the application): He worked at The Point almost that long.  Excellent references.

Pern: Charlotte Jackson did him real dirty.  No severance pay, nothing.  He's got two kids to support and is planning a wedding.  

Violet: I'm going to be insubordinate and order the owner into the kitchen.  Take Pern with you while I make the needed calls.  

*****
Early afternoon sees Joe Montez meeting with Pike.

Joe: You know, you keep giving me work, I might have to hire actual help instead of enlisting my children.  What do you have in mind now? 

Pike: We were having trouble fitting in that house before Orlando and Samara arrived.  We've decided to see what we can do with the biggest combo bathroom and laundry room on the planet.  I drew you a rough plan of our ideas.

Joe: I can already see a couple of issues we'll need to work around.  You just thinking more bedrooms? 

Pike: Actually, one of the things we'd like to do is put in a small studio.  The boys are still heavy into their band even if they do have more realistic career goals now. 

Joe: When can I come over, get a good look at the space?

Pike: If we aren't home, Mace is there.  He only goes back to his apartment to sleep.  Show up at dinner time and we'll even feed you.

****

Speaking of Mace.  

Mace: What are you doing here?  Come over to seduce me? 

Candy (laughs): You wish, old man.  (to Angus) Isn't it too cold out here for you? 

Mace: He loves the snow.  It is too cold for Silver Stream.  Her breed isn't as hardy as Angus's.

Candy: Speaking of breeding, you know the kids want a colt.

Mace: I've heard a rumor to that effect.  Seriously, though, why are you here?  

Candy: Came to see the kids when they get home.  I'm leaving on assignment this evening.

Candy is waiting inside when the kids get home and they gather around, even the ones that don't share her blood. 

Tanner: The Middle East?  Again?

Candy: I'm a photojournalist, son.  I have to go where the news is happening. 

Fred: Are you going where there's bombs, Mommy?  Dr. Marcus went to a bomb place and his leg came off.  What if your leg comes off? 

Candy: I'll be very careful.  And Marcus does okay without his leg. 

Fred: I will get Four to teach me how he helps his daddy, just in case.  

Stacie: Aren't you scared, Mommy?

Candy: True bravery is going on even though you're scared.  Gotta keep the world informed, right?

Nikki: She'll be okay, guys.  She always is. 

Finnick: That's the spirit.  

Tough Love Everywhere

In the early morning hours, Pern meets the other members of the Sunburst crew.  

Midna: Before we get started, I want to make a few things known. With Pern's permission, of course.  She's newly sober and wants to stay that way.  She's also new to the work force, so let's be gentle on her at first.

Pern: I can't thank all of you enough for giving me this chance.  This is my second try at living clean, I have no idea what I'm doing, but I promise to make my best effort.

Zenobia: I think I can hold off on the whips and chains until Thursday.  (laughter all around) No, seriously, we'll do our best to help as much as we can.

Esmeralda: But not so much you depend on us.  We can't turn you into a contributing member of society by contributing for you, can we? 

Jason (nods in agreement):  But first we gotta make sure all your paperwork is in order.  I'll take you to Violet. 

Violet: It looks like Midna got all the formalities taken care of.  Normally, I take care -- 

Pern: This is gorgeous artwork.  Did you do it?

Violet: My husband and stepchildren don't celebrate Christmas, so my stepdaughter painted that to replace my Merry Christmas one.  

Pern: She's good.  How old is she?

Violet (sternly): Midna hired you against my advice.  Fresh out of rehab, never worked before...  (smiles) I'd love it if you proved me wrong.  And Samantha is thirteen.  

Pern (confused): Okay?  Would challenge accepted be the wrong thing to say here? 

Violet: Absolutely not.  Now, Jason is waiting for you in the kitchen and I've got inventory to do.  

******

Doll County Courthouse, Judge's chambers

Bonnie: Your honor, the probation office has no objection to the proposed action regarding Draco Malfoy.  All parties involved have agreed to the terms.

Draco: Mother, tell them!  I didn't agree to anything!

Helena: You are a minor.  I agreed in your stead.  

Albus: I already have a list of jobs he can legally do at The Cove.  

Bonnie: I've reviewed that list with Mr. Dumbledore's employer and with Mrs. Malfoy.  It is a bit unusual for the defendant to do community service under the supervision of the plaintiff, but under the circumstances...

Helena: Albus Dumbledore is nearly the only person in the county who can't be swayed by the Malfoy name.  There's a very real concern that anyone else will be and that Draco will not learn the intended lesson.

Judge: Very well then.  We'll make it official in court this afternoon.

*****

As the third graders leave Suzie's classroom at the end of the day, they're a bit surprised to see Anakin coming in.

Roxy: Do you got detention or something?  

Dan: What did you do?

Anakin: I didn't do anything.  I just wanna talk to Mrs. Dean for a minute.  (He waits until they're gone.)  Is that okay, Mrs. Dean?  You said if any of us ever needed advice.... 

Suzie: Of course, Anakin, what's bothering you?  

Anakin settles in at a desk.

It seems like moments later when Nakoma taps on the classroom door.

Nakoma: Roxy told me you needed to talk to Mrs. Dean, kid, but it's been almost half an hour.  

Anakin: Oh, sorry.  (to Suzie) Thanks for talking to me.  Sometimes it helps to have somebody not, you know, family to talk to.

Suzie: I understand.  If you need to talk some more, I'll run your sister off.

Anakin: No, I'm gonna do what you said.  I think it's a good idea.

Anakin stops to hug her on the way out.  

Take A Meeting

Helena surprises the mayor by bringing a few extra people to their appointment.

Helena: We're here about The Point.  Every one of our businesses could lose substantial revenue from its closure.  Others, too, but they weren't available. If the businesses fail, the town will, as well. Muneca Lake tourism --  

Rose-Grace: You're preaching to the choir.  Unfortunately, my hands are tied.  Charlotte Jackson owns the property and has the right to close the campground.  All I can do is suggest you file to block her zoning change to residential.  If you want to do that, Kyra can take care of the paperwork for you.  I suggest doing it separately and not as a coalition - make sheer numbers work for you.

Helena: As the museum director, I can file today.  What about you?

Pocahontas: I own the park.  So can I.  But Pike and Violet have higher-ups to answer to. 

Violet: Midna's already authorized me to speak for Sunburst. Let's do this.

Pike: I'll have to get my bosses to actually file.  For one thing, my being married to the mayor might create an issue.  But they'll do it.  They already know what's going on.  

Pike stops for a private word as the group leaves.

Rose-Grace: Did you get the text from Morgan?  

Pike: I did, and I talked to her.  It's not anything to worry about. 

****

Pocahontas finds Albus settling in for the night at The Overlook.

Albus: Thanks for letting me crash here.  Having what was left of my camper hauled out and getting a storage unit took my whole paycheck.  Maybe I should ask my boss for a raise.

Pocahontas: Your boss will do more than that, if you accept the offer.  You can stay with us until we move into the new house, then the trailer can be your place.  Saves us both a lot of trouble.

Albus: I wouldn't want to impose.

Pocahontas: You're family.  Besides, Anakin's so excited to have another male in the house that he might explode.  I guess he's drowning in estrogen.

Albus:  Well, in that case, what are we waiting for? 

*****

After supper, Morgan and the Pike grandparents arrive for a Family Meeting.

Tanner: OK, Dad, what's all this about?

Stacie:  Who's getting married or having a baby?

Fred: I hope nobody got dead.

Pike:  Aunt Morgan is coming to live in Barbieville.  She'll be working at -- 

Fred squeals in delight and leaps into Morgan's lap hard enough to knock her out of the chair.

Morgan (laughing):  As your dad was saying, I'm teaching at the college and running an exhibit at the museum.   I'm staying with Mom and Dad til I find an apartment. 

Fred:  Auntie gonna live wif us!  

Morgan and Pike together: No, Auntie isn't.   

The Investigation: Part Two

Federal investigator Lorina Dahl is creating waves, but life in Barbieville goes on regardless.

Midna: I'm glad you've decided to join us here at Sunburst. 

Jason: Thanks for giving me time to think it over,  I had another offer, which paid more, but the benefits and hours here are better for me and my, um, kid. 

Midna: I understand.  Let's get Violet to take you into the office.  You can finalize the paperwork and start tomorrow.

Violet: We have a problem.  The larger tables are in, but they're purple with an inlay design. 

Midna: We don't have time to return them and wait for the faux marble ones. (Thinks for a moment.)  But you know what?  This might work for us.  Several customers have suggested I return to the look I had at the diner.  A little messier, not so upscale looking.

Violet: Seriously?

Midna: Yes, seriously.  Purple family tables will add a little pop of color.  

Violet (not sure if she's angry or amused):  You're the boss.  Jason, if you'll come with me?

Zenobia:  Are you ladies ready...  What's wrong with Sylvia?

Phoebe: David showed his true colors.  

Zenobia:  Oh, crap.  What happened?

Phoebe: We had a DNA thing done, for the family tree Mom's been working on.  Found out Dad's theory about my hair is correct - we have African ancestry.  

Sylvia (sobbing):  He spit on me, Zen!  I thought he loved me! 

Phoebe:  You think she's bad, you should see Ryan.  He caught racist from David. 

Zenobia (kind but firm): Sylvia, we've been telling you since High School that David was trash.  

Lorina comes in as Jason leaves.  She joins Midna uninvited.

Lorina: Violet had security cameras in her store, but there's nothing useful on them. They don't show the area where the fire began.  What sort of security did you have at your former location?

Midna: Just the camera at the register.  You've seen that footage.  

Lorina (disappointed): You didn't have footage of the dining room?

Zenobia: Excuse me, ladies, but the Guinness sisters have ordered.  I need my cook.   (To Lorina)  Someone videoed the time Clara screamed at Becky and Ben.  I've seen it on Facebook. Would that help?

Lorina:  Yes, it would!  (Gets out her laptop.) Ms Sunburst, I need to borrow your waitress for a bit.

Midna: No problem.  They're the only ones in here at the moment, and they're waiting for their food.

Zenobia: I do have to grab their drinks, but I'll be right back.

Walking home from work, Zenobia sees the twins at the school. 

Zenobia: Y'all love it here that much?  

Tanner:  Our grandma is inside, meeting with Suzie Dean.  Suzie's helping her with the annual play. 

Zenobia:  I loved that thing!  But you know what a ham I am.  Oh, did you hear?  It hit the fan at the Guinness house last night.

Finnick: I noticed Ryan was absent today.  (Zenobia catches them up on the gossip.) Wait, Ryan found out his great great grandpa or something was black?!  

Zenobia: It's not funny, you guys!  Sylvia is devastated! 

Tanner (laughing): Well, I'm sorry for Sylvia, but after the things Ryan has said and done...  It's hilarious.  Wait til I tell Frodo!  

Finnick (imitating Frodo):  Yo, Ryan, man!  I hear you found out you was a homeboy! 

Suzie: You are over-thinking the entire thing, McG.  It's not a history project, it's to get them to identify with the characters.  To make them really think about the literature.

McG: Perhaps you're right.  I do tend to over-think.  

Suzie: If a play is too much for you, have them do monologues.  In character, telling their story.  

McG: That would fill the course requirements.  

Rose-Grace is enjoying a book on the deck when the twins get home.  Lorina arrives while Tanner catches her up on the gossip.

Tanner: Zenobia's mad at us for laughing, but...  Sylvia's her friend, not ours, and Sylvia's little brother is the bane of my existence. 

Rose-Grace: We'll discuss it later.  I need to talk to Ms Dahl now.  Privately, I'm sure.

Lorina: I wanted to give you a quick update on the case and I was in the area interviewing Mr. Spiner.  I hope you don't mind my coming to your home. 

Rose-Grace:  I'm tripping over in laws, children, and pets.  What's a Fed going to hurt?  (Both laugh) 

Have a seat. Tanner will warn the rest I'm doing mayor stuff, they'll leave us alone. 

Lorina: My technical analyst found some data I think you should see.  (She reaches for her bag, but her headset pings.)  Excuse me, I have to take this call. (Rose-Grace waits while Lorina does so.)  Well, Madam Mayor, would you like to go along while I make an arrest?